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The chart shows the value of goods in the US transported by different modes of transport in 2012, 2018, and predictions for 2045. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the value of goods in the US transported by different modes of transport in 2012, 2018, and predictions for 2045.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates the good values in the U.S. shipping by transport modes: water, road, rail, and air from 2012 to 2018 and expectations for 2045.
Overall, the good values in the U.S import and export share the same increase tendency during the six years, imports generally exceed the value of exports. Plane is the dominant mode throughout the period and significantly increases in demand.
In terms of imports, sea data dropped by 78 billion dollars, while other modes: road, rail, and air relatively expanded between 2012 and 2018 by around 10-30 billion dollars. Air figures in 2045 are anticipated to rocket six times higher than in 2018, while sea and rail shipping only doubled their data.
There is hardly any difference in export data from 2012 to 2018, except for a slight increase of 81 billion dollars in sea shipping. In 2045, the export figures for sea, road, and rail delivery correspond to their import data. Sea and rail are expected to double their figures in 2018, while the good values of trucking reach 1244 billion dollars, four times higher than in 2018. Deliveries by plane still dominate the transport market in the forecast with 2123 billion dollars in 2045, three times higher than in 2018.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

  1. "good values" -> "cargo values"
    Explanation: "Cargo values" is a more precise and formal term to refer to the monetary worth of goods being transported, enhancing clarity and sophistication in the description of the data.

  2. "tendency" -> "trend"
    Explanation: "Trend" is a more precise and commonly used term in statistical analysis to describe the direction in which data is moving over a period of time, offering a clearer expression of the concept.

  3. "significantly increases in demand" -> "experiences significant demand growth"
    Explanation: Restructuring the phrase improves clarity and elegance by using "experiences significant demand growth" to indicate a notable increase in demand for air transport.

  4. "sea data dropped by 78 billion dollars" -> "maritime transport values decreased by $78 billion"
    Explanation: "Maritime transport values" is a more specific term for the goods transported by sea, and restructuring the sentence enhances clarity by specifying the amount by which they decreased.

  5. "relatively expanded" -> "experienced relative expansion"
    Explanation: "Experienced relative expansion" conveys the idea that the modes of transport, excluding sea, saw growth in their values, and it does so with more precision and formality.

  6. "rocket six times higher" -> "surge sixfold"
    Explanation: "Surge sixfold" is a concise and sophisticated way to express a sixfold increase, providing a more impactful description of the anticipated rise in air transport values.

  7. "doubled their data" -> "doubled in value"
    Explanation: "Doubled in value" is a clearer and more concise way to convey that the sea and rail transport figures increased twofold.

  8. "there is hardly any difference" -> "minimal disparity exists"
    Explanation: "Minimal disparity exists" provides a more precise and formal expression of the slight variation in export data between 2012 and 2018.

  9. "truck" -> "truck transport"
    Explanation: Using "truck transport" specifies the mode of transportation more precisely, enhancing clarity in the description of the data.

  10. "three times higher" -> "tripled"
    Explanation: "Tripled" succinctly conveys the idea of a threefold increase in plane transport values, making the sentence more concise and impactful.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information provided in the chart regarding the value of goods transported by different modes in the US over specified years and predictions for 2045. Key features such as trends in import and export values for different transport modes are highlighted. However, there are some areas where the details could be more relevant and accurate, such as the specific dollar amounts and the comparison between import and export values.
How to improve: To improve, ensure that the details provided are accurate and relevant to the trends being discussed. Additionally, consider providing more specific comparisons between import and export values to enhance the clarity and completeness of the summary.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to a moderate extent. There is a clear attempt to organize the information logically, with separate paragraphs focusing on different aspects of the data. However, some issues in cohesion and coherence are evident. While the essay progresses from discussing imports to exports and from past data to future predictions, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Additionally, there are instances of mechanical cohesion, such as repetitive use of certain phrases ("from 2012 to 2018" is repeated). The overall progression of ideas is discernible, but there is room for improvement in clarity and fluidity.

How to improve:

  1. Work on smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader through the flow of information.
  2. Avoid repetitive use of phrases or terms. Varying sentence structures and vocabulary can help maintain the reader’s interest and improve cohesion.
  3. Ensure that cohesive devices are used effectively to establish clear relationships between sentences and ideas. This may involve revising sentence structures or rephrasing to achieve greater clarity.
  4. Pay close attention to paragraphing. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea or aspect of the data, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. Make sure that paragraph breaks occur logically and serve to enhance understanding for the reader.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, which is minimally adequate for the task. While the essay attempts to describe the trends shown in the bar chart, there are noticeable errors in word choice and some inaccuracies in spelling and word formation. For example, the phrase "the good values" seems intended to mean "the value of goods" or "the goods’ value," but this error in word choice can cause confusion. Additionally, terms like "expectations" could be more precisely described as "projections" or "predictions." Errors like these, along with others such as "dropped by 78 billion dollars" instead of "fell by 78 billion dollars" or "is anticipated to rocket" instead of "is projected to increase significantly," suggest a limited command of vocabulary and a lack of flexibility and precision in word choice. These issues might cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended message.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a broader range of vocabulary with greater accuracy and flexibility. It’s important to use words and collocations that precisely convey the intended meaning. The writer can also work on reducing errors in word choice and spelling by refining their editing process, using tools for spelling and grammar checks, and expanding their knowledge of less common lexical items. Reviewing sample essays with high band scores and practicing using new vocabulary in context can also be beneficial for developing a more varied and accurate vocabulary.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and complex forms. However, there are several instances where the complexity of the sentences could be improved for better clarity and coherence. Additionally, there is an attempt to incorporate comparisons and descriptions of trends over time, which adds some depth to the analysis. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, which at times hinder the reader’s understanding. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("imports generally exceed"), inconsistent verb tense usage ("Plane is" should be "Planes are"), and awkward phrasing ("while sea and rail shipping only doubled their data"). These errors contribute to a lack of precision and accuracy in conveying the intended meaning.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures to achieve better clarity and coherence. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence construction. Additionally, revise and proofread the essay to correct grammatical errors and ensure smoother communication of ideas. Practicing writing essays under timed conditions and seeking feedback on grammar and sentence structure can also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The bar chart presents data regarding the value of goods transported within the U.S. via various modes of transportation, namely water, road, rail, and air, spanning the years 2012, 2018, and projected figures for 2045.

Overall, both imports and exports witnessed a steady upward trend over the six-year period, with imports consistently surpassing exports. Notably, air transportation emerged as the primary mode throughout the duration, experiencing a significant surge in demand.

Analyzing import data, sea transport saw a decline of $78 billion from 2012 to 2018, while other modes—road, rail, and air—exhibited moderate to substantial growth, ranging from $10-30 billion. Projections for 2045 indicate a remarkable six-fold increase in air transport compared to 2018, whereas sea and rail transportation are expected to double their respective figures.

In terms of exports, minimal fluctuations were observed from 2012 to 2018, with a slight $81 billion increase noted in sea shipping. Looking ahead to 2045, export figures for sea, road, and rail align closely with their import counterparts. Notably, trucking values are anticipated to quadruple, reaching $1244 billion, while air deliveries are forecasted to dominate the market, soaring to $2123 billion, three times higher than 2018’s figures.

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