The diagram below illustrates how recycled paper is made. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The process diagram shows various steps creating the recycled paper.
It can be easily seen in the drawing, there are four main steps which waste papers are used to make recycled ones.
The first stage is when used papers are moved by conveyor belt. A tank full of water chemicals is used to make pulp, which produces unfiltered papers. When this stage is complete, all of the papers are gone through a pipe that goes to the filtering step.
Once filtered pulp is created, the “cleaning” step involves a water tank with soap which is connected with an air pump. At this stage, the remaining ink of the paper is removed through another pipe in order to make cleaned pulp. Following this, all the cleaned papers are moved to chemicals and water again to make the last step. This is where heated rollers eliminate water from papers, which create recycled paper as the finished product.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"various steps creating" -> "various steps involved in creating"
Explanation: Using "involved in creating" instead of "creating" provides a more precise description of the relationship between the steps and the process of creating recycled paper.
"waste papers" -> "waste paper"
Explanation: "Waste paper" is the correct term to refer to used or discarded paper. Using the singular form maintains accuracy in terminology.
"unfiltered papers" -> "unprocessed pulp"
Explanation: "Unprocessed pulp" is a more accurate and specific term to describe the product before it goes through the filtering process.
"all of the papers are gone through a pipe" -> "all the pulp is transported through a pipe"
Explanation: Using "pulp" instead of "papers" is more appropriate in the context of the recycling process, as the material being transported is not in paper form yet.
"cleaned papers" -> "cleaned pulp"
Explanation: In the context of the recycling process, the material being cleaned is pulp, not paper. Using "cleaned pulp" is more accurate.
"heated rollers eliminate water from papers" -> "heated rollers remove water from the pulp"
Explanation: Referring to the material as "pulp" instead of "papers" is more precise in describing the final stage of the process where water is removed to create recycled paper.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the process of making recycled paper. It provides an overview of the steps involved in the process, such as moving used papers, creating pulp, filtering, cleaning, and drying. The key features are highlighted, but some details may be irrelevant or lacking clarity.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more specific details about each step in the process and ensure that all information is relevant and accurately presented. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more cohesive structure to enhance the clarity of the explanation.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents the information with some organization, outlining the main steps in the process of making recycled paper. However, there is a lack of overall progression as the steps are described without a clear connection between them. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, with some repetitive language and a lack of clear referencing. The paragraphing is also inadequate, with some sentences running on without clear breaks.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, the essay should focus on creating a clear progression between the steps of the process. Use cohesive devices such as transition words and pronouns to link ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the essay is structured logically with appropriate paragraph breaks.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary, but with some inaccuracies. The essay describes the process of making recycled paper using a variety of vocabulary related to the steps involved. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings that impact the overall lexical resource score.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary related to the process of making recycled paper. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to convey the information more effectively. Additionally, proofread the essay to correct any errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation that may impede communication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with some errors in grammar and punctuation. The overall communication is not significantly hindered by these errors, but they are noticeable throughout the essay. The essay attempts to describe the process of making recycled paper but lacks precision and clarity in some areas.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation. Additionally, aim for more precise and clear descriptions of the process to enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Practice writing complex sentences and proofread carefully to catch and correct errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided process diagram illustrates the steps involved in the production of recycled paper. It is evident from the diagram that there are four primary stages in the creation of recycled paper from waste papers.

Initially, the used papers are transported via a conveyor belt to a tank containing water and chemicals to form pulp, resulting in unfiltered papers. Subsequently, the papers are directed through a pipe to undergo the filtering process.

Once the pulp is filtered, the next step involves a water tank with soap connected to an air pump for cleaning. This stage aims to eliminate any remaining ink from the paper, resulting in cleaned pulp. Following this, the cleaned papers are subjected to a combination of chemicals and water to proceed to the final stage. Here, heated rollers are utilized to remove water from the papers, ultimately producing recycled paper as the final product.