The diagram below shows how glass is recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The diagram below shows how glass is recycled.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
You should write at least 150 words.

The picture illustrates the various stages in the process of recycling glass.

It is clear that the process is circular and has 6 main stages, beginning with collecting bottles from the recycle bin and ending with the products are moved to supermarket.

At the beginning of the glass recycling process, the glass is separated from all kinds of rubbish in a recycle bin, after which it was gone to treatment plant to be cleaned. This glass is then washed and sterilised by a machine in order to kill bacteria on it.

The process continues with the crushing and melting step. At this stage, the glass is crushed into small pieces and then heated in very high temperature to become a liquid. Once this particular stage in the process has been completed, this liquid is moulded in any shape by a moulding machine. Finally, the glass products are delivered to supermarket by a truck to sell to customers, and the process begins anew.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "the products are moved to supermarket" -> "the products are transported to the supermarket"
   Explanation: "Moved" is a common verb, but "transported" is more precise and formal, conveying the idea of movement in a more sophisticated manner. Additionally, specifying "the" before "supermarket" enhances clarity.

2. "after which it was gone to treatment plant" -> "after which it is taken to a treatment plant"
   Explanation: "It was gone to" is grammatically incorrect. Replacing it with "it is taken to" maintains the correct tense and improves clarity. Additionally, adding "a" before "treatment plant" specifies that it is one of many possible treatment plants.

3. "This glass is then washed and sterilised by a machine" -> "Subsequently, the glass is washed and sterilized by a machine"
   Explanation: Replacing "then" with "subsequently" adds variation to the text and enhances the flow. "Sterilized" is a more precise term than "cleaned," emphasizing the removal of bacteria.

4. "At this stage, the glass is crushed into small pieces" -> "At this stage, the glass is pulverized into small fragments"
   Explanation: "Crushed" is a common term, but "pulverized" adds specificity and sophistication, indicating a more intense and thorough process of breaking down the glass.

5. "and then heated in very high temperature" -> "and then heated to extremely high temperatures"
   Explanation: "In very high temperature" is awkward phrasing. "Heated to extremely high temperatures" provides a clearer and more concise description of the heating process.

6. "Once this particular stage in the process has been completed" -> "Once this stage of the process is concluded"
   Explanation: The original phrase is unnecessarily wordy. "Concluded" is a more concise alternative to "has been completed," maintaining clarity and professionalism.

7. "this liquid is moulded in any shape by a moulding machine" -> "this liquid is molded into various shapes by a molding machine"
   Explanation: "Moulded in any shape" is imprecise and informal. "Molded into various shapes" is more specific and refined. Additionally, "moulding" is British English while "molding" is American English; both are correct, but it’s advisable to maintain consistency throughout the text.

8. "Finally, the glass products are delivered to supermarket by a truck" -> "Finally, the glass products are transported to the supermarket by truck"
   Explanation: "Delivered" is a common term, but "transported" is more precise and formal. Additionally, specifying "the" before "supermarket" enhances clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by summarizing the main stages of glass recycling. It provides an overview of the process, including collection, cleaning, crushing, melting, shaping, and delivery. However, the overview lacks clarity and coherence due to inconsistencies and inaccuracies in the description.
How to improve: Provide a clearer and more accurate overview of the process. Ensure consistency in tense and clarity in describing each stage. Include relevant details to support the main features of the process. Avoid unnecessary repetition and focus on presenting information in a structured manner. Consider the word count requirement and aim to provide a more detailed summary within the given limit. Ensure that the format adheres to the requirements of the task.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay arranges information in a generally coherent manner, providing a clear overview of the glass recycling process with identifiable stages. There is a logical progression from the initial collection of glass to its transformation into products. The use of cohesive devices, such as "At the beginning…," "The process continues…," and "Finally…," helps to connect ideas within and between sentences. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as the phrase "it was gone to treatment plant," which should be revised for clarity. Additionally, the paragraphing is somewhat logical, although there is room for improvement in structuring paragraphs more effectively, particularly in separating distinct stages of the process.

How to improve:

1. Clarify and revise sentences for smoother cohesion, ensuring that the flow of ideas is clear and concise.
2. Structure paragraphs more logically to enhance coherence and highlight the distinct stages of the glass recycling process.
3. Ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to strengthen coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., "glass recycling process" is repeated). The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, but lacks variety and sophistication. While some technical terms related to the recycling process are used (e.g., "treatment plant," "moulded"), there is a lack of more advanced or precise vocabulary. Additionally, there are noticeable errors in word formation and spelling, such as "gone" instead of "goes," "are moved" instead of "is moved," and "this liquid is moulded in any shape" which lacks clarity and precision.

How to improve:
To improve the lexical resource, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, including more specific and precise terms related to the recycling process. Synonyms and varied expressions can be used to avoid repetition. Additionally, paying closer attention to word formation and spelling will enhance the clarity and accuracy of the essay. Reading more academic texts or essays on similar topics can help in acquiring a richer vocabulary and improving lexical accuracy.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and compound sentences. However, there is a limited range of structures overall. The essay contains some attempts at complex sentences, but these tend to lack accuracy, leading to grammatical errors and occasional issues with punctuation. For instance, the sentence "At this stage, the glass is crushed into small pieces and then heated in very high temperature to become a liquid" lacks clarity due to awkward phrasing and errors in verb tense consistency.

How to improve: To enhance grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim for greater variety in sentence structures, incorporating more complex constructions where appropriate. Additionally, careful proofreading for grammatical errors and punctuation issues would help to improve clarity and coherence. Practice crafting sentences with varied structures and pay attention to maintaining consistency in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram presents the various stages involved in the recycling of glass.

It is evident that the process follows a circular pattern and comprises six key stages, commencing with the collection of bottles from recycling bins and culminating in the transportation of products to supermarkets.

Initially, glass is separated from other forms of waste within a recycling bin, after which it is transported to a treatment plant for cleaning. Subsequently, the glass undergoes washing and sterilization via a machine to eliminate bacteria.

The process proceeds with crushing and melting. During this phase, the glass is fragmented into smaller pieces and then subjected to high temperatures to transform into a liquid state. Upon completion of this stage, the molten glass is shaped into various forms using a molding machine. Finally, the glass products are transported to supermarkets via trucks for sale to consumers, thus initiating the cycle anew.