The diagram below shows how uranium is used in the production of nuclear power.

The process illustrates manufacture of nuclear-power from usaged Uranium.

Overall, the illustration gives information have six step from Uranium is mined from the earth to the result is nuclear power.From step 1 to step 3 is the mining process and sending it to the nuclear manufacturing plant, while the remaining 3 steps are creating ingredients.

Firstly, Uranium is mined from the earth with using mechnical tools and human strength.The next people to put on Uranium ore is converted and enriched to make U-235 fuel pellets. Besides, U-235 fuel powers generators to make electricity at the nucleus manufactory.

In addition, after about four years firewood becomes spent and is removed in step 4. Moreover, a quantity of fuel can be re-processed and re-used for other purposes, not only that the number of petroleum recycled and reused brought to the factory for to make electricity.Finally, spent fuel that cannot be reprocessed is stored in containers and buried.

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Errors and Improvements:

"manufacture of nuclear-power" -> "nuclear power generation"
Explanation: "Manufacture of nuclear power" is slightly awkward and less commonly used compared to "nuclear power generation," which is a more standard term in discussing energy production processes.
"usaged Uranium" -> "used Uranium"
Explanation: "Usaged" is not a standard word; "used" is the correct past participle form of "use" in this context.
"have six step" -> "consists of six steps"
Explanation: "Have six step" lacks clarity and proper grammar; using "consists of six steps" provides a clearer and more grammatically correct description.
"From step 1 to step 3 is the mining process" -> "Steps 1 to 3 comprise the mining process"
Explanation: "From step 1 to step 3 is" is awkward and can be replaced with "Steps 1 to 3 comprise," which is more concise and grammatically correct.
"put on Uranium ore" -> "process Uranium ore"
Explanation: "Put on Uranium ore" is not a standard phrase in this context; "process Uranium ore" is more appropriate for describing the conversion and enrichment stages.
"nucleus manufactory" -> "nuclear power plant"
Explanation: "Nucleus manufactory" is not a commonly used term in English; "nuclear power plant" is the standard term to refer to the facility where nuclear power is generated.
"about four years firewood becomes spent" -> "after about four years, the fuel becomes spent"
Explanation: "Firewood" is not appropriate in this context; using "fuel" is more accurate. Also, adding "the" before "fuel" improves grammatical correctness.
"a quantity of fuel can be re-processed and re-used" -> "some fuel can be reprocessed and reused"
Explanation: "A quantity of fuel" is vague; "some fuel" is more precise. Also, "re-processed" should be "reprocessed" for correct hyphenation.
"the number of petroleum recycled and reused brought to the factory" -> "the recycled and reused fuel brought back to the factory"
Explanation: "The number of petroleum recycled and reused" is unclear; specifying "recycled and reused fuel" clarifies the meaning.
"spent fuel that cannot be reprocessed is stored in containers and buried" -> "irretrievable spent fuel is stored in containers and then buried"
Explanation: "Cannot be reprocessed" is a bit wordy; "irretrievable" succinctly conveys the same meaning. Adding "then" after "containers" improves the flow of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing an overview of the process of nuclear power production from uranium. It outlines six steps involved in the process, covering both mining and manufacturing stages. However, there are several instances of unclear or inaccurate information, such as "nucleus manufactory" which could confuse the reader, and the lack of clarity in explaining the reprocessing and reuse of fuel.
How to improve: To improve, focus on providing clearer descriptions of each step in the process, ensuring accuracy and relevance of information. Avoid using vague terms like "nucleus manufactory" and clarify the recycling process for better coherence and understanding. Additionally, pay attention to grammar and sentence structure for smoother readability.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents some organization in its structure, outlining the process from mining uranium to producing nuclear power. However, there is a lack of overall progression as the essay jumps between steps without a clear flow. Cohesive devices are used inadequately, with some unclear connections between sentences and ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the logical organization within paragraphs is inconsistent.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a clearer progression of ideas, ensuring each step logically follows the previous one. Use cohesive devices more effectively to establish connections between sentences and ideas. Additionally, refine paragraphing to ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and logical structure. Finally, aim to eliminate repetition and improve clarity in referencing and substitution.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempt at using technical terms related to the topic. There are noticeable errors in word choice and word formation throughout the essay, such as "manufactory" instead of "manufacturing plant" and "firewood" instead of "fuel rods." The essay relies on basic vocabulary and lacks sophistication in expression. However, it manages to convey the overall process of nuclear power production.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. They should strive for more precise word choices and accurate terminology. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and word formation would enhance clarity and coherence in the essay. Incorporating more technical terms and demonstrating a deeper understanding of the subject matter would also elevate the lexical resource score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation:
The essay attempts to use a variety of structures, including simple and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as "the result is nuclear power" (should be "results in nuclear power"), "manufacture of nuclear-power from usaged Uranium" (should be "manufacture of nuclear power from used Uranium"), "have six step" (should be "has six steps"), "step 1 to step 3 is the mining process" (should be "steps 1 to 3 are the mining process"), "the next people to put on Uranium ore" (unclear and should be rephrased), and "make U-235 fuel pellets" (should be "making U-235 fuel pellets"). Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas and periods, which affect the readability of the essay. These errors cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the content.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on sentence structure and punctuation. Use a variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, use appropriate articles (e.g., "the," "a"), and ensure correct word choice. Additionally, review the use of punctuation marks (e.g., commas, periods, apostrophes) to improve the clarity and coherence of the essay. Finally, proofread the essay carefully to correct any errors before submission.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram delineates the utilization of uranium in the generation of nuclear power.

Overall, the process encompasses six distinct stages, commencing with the extraction of uranium from the earth and culminating in the production of nuclear power. The initial three steps entail the mining process and the transportation of uranium to the nuclear manufacturing facility, whereas the subsequent three steps involve the fabrication of fuel.

Initially, uranium is extracted from the earth utilizing mechanical tools and human labor. Subsequently, the extracted uranium ore undergoes conversion and enrichment to produce U-235 fuel pellets. Furthermore, these U-235 fuel pellets drive generators to generate electricity at the nuclear plant.

Moreover, after approximately four years, the spent fuel is extracted and removed in step 4. Additionally, a portion of the spent fuel can be subjected to reprocessing for alternative applications. Furthermore, recycled petroleum is transported to the factory to generate electricity. Ultimately, the spent fuel that cannot undergo reprocessing is securely stored in containers and buried.