The diagram below shows the changes of the town since 1995

The diagram below shows the changes of the town since 1995

The two maps given depict how a village has been transformed since 1995.
Overall, this area has witnessed various noteworthy developments, most notably with the adddition of residential houses and commercial facilities.
The diagram delineate a small road that run from a cafe, where remain intact. On the left side of a road, it is evident that there is a rise in the number of houses, which necessitate the apperence of the linking road. Additionally, which were initially shops are now restaurant. Similarly, fish markets were demolished in oder to establish apartments. Moreover, the fishing port which is in a middle of the sea was pulled down.
On the other side of the road, a car park is erected , on the western side of which lies hotel. Another notable change is that the removal of farmland and forest park are necessary so that golf and tennis playgroung can be constructed.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "The two maps given depict" -> "The two maps provided illustrate"
   Explanation: "Illustrate" is more precise and academically appropriate than "depict" in this context, as it specifically refers to the act of presenting information through visual aids like maps.

2. "has witnessed various noteworthy developments" -> "has undergone significant transformations"
   Explanation: "Undergone significant transformations" is more formal and precise, emphasizing the extent of change in the village over time.

3. "adddition" -> "addition"
   Explanation: This is a simple spelling correction to ensure accuracy.

4. "The diagram delineate" -> "The diagram delineates"
   Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to match the singular subject "diagram."

5. "a small road that run" -> "a small road that runs"
   Explanation: Corrects the verb tense to match the singular subject "road."

6. "where remain intact" -> "which remain intact"
   Explanation: "Which" is the correct relative pronoun to use here, indicating the relationship between the cafe and the road.

7. "necessitate the apperence" -> "required the appearance"
   Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "appearance" and uses "required" for a more formal tone.

8. "Additionally, which were initially shops are now restaurant" -> "Additionally, which were initially shops are now restaurants"
   Explanation: Corrects the plural form "restaurants" to match the plural subject "shops."

9. "in oder to establish apartments" -> "in order to establish apartments"
   Explanation: Corrects the spelling of "order" to its proper form.

10. "the fishing port which is in a middle of the sea" -> "the fishing port located in the middle of the sea"
    Explanation: "Located in the middle of the sea" is a more precise and formal way to describe the port’s position.

11. "was pulled down" -> "was demolished"
    Explanation: "Demolished" is a more specific and formal term for the destruction of structures.

12. "a car park is erected" -> "a car park has been constructed"
    Explanation: "Has been constructed" is a more formal and accurate verb phrase for describing the building of a car park.

13. "on the western side of which lies hotel" -> "on the western side of which is a hotel"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical structure to be more formal and clear.

14. "the removal of farmland and forest park are necessary" -> "the removal of farmland and the forest park is necessary"
    Explanation: Corrects the grammatical agreement of the verb "is" with the plural subject "farmland and the forest park."

15. "golf and tennis playgroung" -> "golf and tennis playing fields"
    Explanation: "Playing fields" is a more precise and formal term than "playgroung," which is likely a typographical error or misuse of the word "playground."

These changes enhance the formal tone and precision of the language, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4

Explanation: The essay attempts to address the task but does not cover all key features/bullet points. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the changes in the village. The essay also confuses key features/bullet points with detail. For example, the essay states that "the fishing port which is in a middle of the sea was pulled down" but does not mention that the fishing port was replaced with apartments. The essay also states that "the removal of farmland and forest park are necessary so that golf and tennis playgroung can be constructed" but does not mention that the farmland and forest park were replaced with a golf course and tennis courts.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the changes in the village. The essay could also be improved by focusing on the key features/bullet points and providing more accurate information. For example, the essay could state that the fishing port was replaced with apartments and that the farmland and forest park were replaced with a golf course and tennis courts. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language. For example, instead of saying "the fishing port was pulled down," the essay could say "the fishing port was demolished."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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