The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and
how it looks now.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and
make comparisons where relevant.

The map illustrates the change in amenities of Central Library from 20 years ago to now.

Overall, the structure of the floor is unchanged, however, there was a little redesign about the acreage and the number of main rooms. It also has added some amenities after 20 years.

Looking first at the center, tables and chairs opposite the entrance have been removed. Regarding the left, 20 years ago, the entertainment room with CD, videos and computers was expanded with a children's fiction books area and recorded to be suitable for storytelling events. The lobby that had Adult fiction books was changed to All reference books and the reading room became computer ones.

Regarding the right of Central Library, the room at the top corner that had children’s books in the past became the lecture room now. The adult non-fiction books area was classified into three main places for adult fiction books, information desks and self-service machines. Specially, the only added room is the coffee area where in the past that was an enquiry desk near the entrance.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The map illustrates the change in amenities of Central Library from 20 years ago to now." -> "The diagram depicts the evolution of amenities at the Central Library over the past 20 years."
Explanation: Replacing "illustrates" with "depicts" and "change" with "evolution" enhances the academic tone by using more precise vocabulary related to change over time.
"the structure of the floor is unchanged, however, there was a little redesign about the acreage and the number of main rooms." -> "the floor plan remains unchanged, although there has been a slight redesign of the layout and the number of main rooms."
Explanation: "Floor plan" is more specific than "structure of the floor," and "although" is more formal than "however." Additionally, "slight redesign" is more precise than "a little redesign."
"It also has added some amenities after 20 years." -> "Additionally, certain amenities have been added over the past 20 years."
Explanation: "Additionally" is more formal than "It also," and "certain amenities have been added" is more specific and formal than "It has added some."
"Regarding the left, 20 years ago, the entertainment room with CD, videos and computers was expanded with a children’s fiction books area and recorded to be suitable for storytelling events." -> "On the left, 20 years ago, the entertainment room, featuring CDs, videos, and computers, was expanded to accommodate a children’s fiction book area and was adapted for storytelling events."
Explanation: "On the left" is clearer than "Regarding the left," and "featuring" is more formal than "with." Also, "accommodate" and "adapted" are more precise and formal than "expanded" and "recorded."
"The lobby that had Adult fiction books was changed to All reference books and the reading room became computer ones." -> "The area previously housing adult fiction books was converted into an all-reference section, and the reading room was transformed into a computer area."
Explanation: "Area previously housing" is more precise than "The lobby that had," and "converted into" and "transformed into" are more formal than "was changed to."
"Regarding the right of Central Library, the room at the top corner that had children’s books in the past became the lecture room now." -> "On the right side of the Central Library, the room previously used for children’s books has been converted into a lecture room."
Explanation: "On the right side" is more specific than "Regarding the right of," and "has been converted into" is more formal than "became."
"Specially, the only added room is the coffee area where in the past that was an enquiry desk near the entrance." -> "Notably, the only addition is the coffee area, which previously served as an enquiry desk near the entrance."
Explanation: "Notably" is more formal than "Specially," and "the only addition" is more precise than "the only added room." Also, "which previously served as" is more formal and clear than "where in the past that was."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the library’s layout, selecting and reporting the main features. It adequately highlights key features, such as the addition of a coffee area and the conversion of the reading room into a computer room. However, the essay includes some irrelevant details, such as the mention of "tables and chairs opposite the entrance" being removed, which is not a significant change.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant changes and providing more specific details about the layout and the purpose of each room. For example, the essay could mention that the children’s fiction books area is now located in the former entertainment room, which is a more relevant detail than simply stating that the entertainment room was expanded. The essay could also provide more specific information about the changes in the adult non-fiction books area, such as the addition of information desks and self-service machines.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe the changes in the library’s layout, the structure is somewhat confusing, and the ideas do not flow logically from one to the next. There is an inadequate use of cohesive devices, leading to some repetition and a lack of clarity in referencing. Additionally, paragraphing is present but not always logical, which further detracts from the coherence of the essay.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the essay should have a clearer structure with distinct paragraphs for each main point. Using a wider range of cohesive devices effectively will help connect ideas and improve the flow of information. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and logically progresses from one idea to the next will strengthen the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, allowing for some flexibility and precision in conveying the changes in the library’s layout. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "amenities," "entertainment room," and "self-service machines," but there are inaccuracies in word choice and some awkward phrasing that detracts from clarity. Additionally, there are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation, such as "recorded to be suitable" and "the only added room is the coffee area where in the past that was an enquiry desk," which may cause some difficulty for the reader but do not completely impede communication.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and using more precise word choices. They should also aim to reduce errors in spelling and word formation. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can enhance fluency and flexibility. Additionally, ensuring clarity in phrasing and avoiding awkward constructions will improve overall coherence and readability.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6. While there are some attempts at using complex structures, the overall grammatical accuracy is inconsistent, with noticeable errors that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "the structure of the floor is unchanged" and "there was a little redesign about the acreage" could be improved for precision and grammatical correctness. Additionally, the use of conjunctions and transitions could be more effective to enhance coherence.

How to improve:

Enhance Sentence Variety: Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures to improve grammatical range. This could involve using more subordinate clauses and varied sentence beginnings.
Focus on Accuracy: Review and correct grammatical errors, particularly in verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. For example, "the only added room is the coffee area where in the past that was an enquiry desk" could be revised for clarity and grammatical correctness.
Improve Cohesion: Use clearer linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will help the reader follow the changes in the library more smoothly.
Proofread for Minor Errors: Regular proofreading can help catch minor errors that may slip through, ensuring that the majority of sentences are error-free.

Bài sửa mẫu

The map illustrates the changes in amenities of Central Library from 20 years ago to the present.

Overall, the structure of the floor remains unchanged; however, there have been some redesigns regarding the layout and the number of main rooms. Additionally, several amenities have been added over the past 20 years.

Looking first at the center, the tables and chairs opposite the entrance have been removed. On the left side, 20 years ago, the entertainment room, which housed CDs, videos, and computers, was expanded to include a children’s fiction books area, making it suitable for storytelling events. The lobby that previously contained adult fiction books has been transformed into an area for all reference books, while the reading room has been converted into computer rooms.

On the right side of Central Library, the room in the top corner that once held children’s books has now become a lecture room. The adult non-fiction books area has been divided into three main sections: adult fiction books, information desks, and self-service machines. Notably, the only new addition is the coffee area, which replaced the enquiry desk that was located near the entrance.