The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the recycling process of plastics.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The picture illustrates the various stages involved in two methods of plastics waste treatment, including recycling and dumping in landfills.
Overall, the two processes are related to the consumption of plastic products. It is also notable that the recycling process is more complex than that of disposal of plastics in landfill sites.
Plastic items that can be recycled have its life cycle of seven stages, beginning with their distribution in a shop. Customers then purchase these items before taking the used plastic bottles to a collecting point. Next, the plastic is sorted in the warehouses, from there the trucks transport them to an industrial processing plant. It’s a place where sorted plastic goods are converted into usable form. After that, the final products are delivered to retail outlets for sales and the cycle begins again.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The picture illustrates" -> "The diagram depicts"
Explanation: "Diagram" is a more specific term than "picture" in academic contexts, and "depicts" is more formal than "illustrates," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
"various stages involved" -> "multiple stages involved"
Explanation: "Multiple" is more precise and formal than "various" in academic writing, emphasizing the distinctiveness of the stages.
"including recycling and dumping in landfills" -> "comprising recycling and disposal in landfills"
Explanation: "Comprising" is more formal and precise than "including" in this context, and "disposal" is a more technical term than "dumping," aligning better with the formal academic style.
"the consumption of plastic products" -> "the use of plastic products"
Explanation: "Use" is more specific and appropriate in this context, as it directly relates to the consumption of plastic products in the context of waste management.
"the recycling process is more complex" -> "the recycling process is more intricate"
Explanation: "Intricate" conveys a higher level of complexity and sophistication, which is more suitable for academic writing than "complex."
"disposal of plastics in landfill sites" -> "disposal of plastics at landfill sites"
Explanation: "At" is more precise and formal than "in" when referring to the location of landfill sites.
"has its life cycle of seven stages" -> "undergoes a seven-stage life cycle"
Explanation: "Undergoes" is more formal and precise than "has," and "a seven-stage life cycle" is a more standard and academic phrasing.
"Customers then purchase these items" -> "Subsequently, customers acquire these items"
Explanation: "Subsequently" is a more formal temporal conjunction than "then," and "acquire" is more precise and formal than "purchase" in this context.
"taking the used plastic bottles to a collecting point" -> "transporting used plastic bottles to a collection site"
Explanation: "Transporting" is more formal and specific than "taking," and "collection site" is a more precise term than "collecting point."
"sorted in the warehouses" -> "sorted at the warehouses"
Explanation: "At" is more appropriate than "in" when referring to the location of an action within a facility like a warehouse.
"the trucks transport them to an industrial processing plant" -> "trucks transport them to industrial processing facilities"
Explanation: "Facilities" is more formal and encompassing than "plant," and removing "an" before "industrial processing facilities" corrects the article usage.
"It’s a place where" -> "It is a location where"
Explanation: "It is" corrects the contraction "It’s," and "location" is more formal than "place" in this context.
"sorted plastic goods are converted into usable form" -> "sorted plastic materials are transformed into usable forms"
Explanation: "Materials" is more specific and formal than "goods," and "transformed" is more precise than "converted," and "forms" is plural to match the variety of products.
"the final products are delivered to retail outlets for sales" -> "the final products are distributed to retail outlets for sale"
Explanation: "Distributed" is more formal than "delivered," and "for sale" is grammatically correct as a gerund phrase.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing a description of the recycling process of plastics. However, it does not provide a clear overview of the main features of the process. The essay focuses on the details of the recycling process, rather than providing a summary of the key features.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main features of the recycling process. For example, the essay could state that the recycling process involves collecting, sorting, and processing plastic waste. The essay could also compare the recycling process to the process of disposing of plastic waste in landfills.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some information about the recycling process of plastics but lacks coherence and clear progression. There is no clear overall structure or sequencing of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate ("have its life cycle" should be "has its life cycle"). Paragraphing is inconsistent, as the essay does not clearly separate different stages of the recycling process into distinct paragraphs. Overall, the organization of ideas is confusing and lacks a clear progression from one idea to the next.

How to improve:

Organizational Structure: Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas from one stage of the recycling process to the next. Each stage should be presented in a separate paragraph to improve clarity and coherence.
Cohesive Devices: Use cohesive devices more accurately and appropriately to connect ideas within sentences and paragraphs. Avoid repetitive or inaccurate usage of phrases.
Paragraphing: Clearly separate different stages or aspects of the recycling process into distinct paragraphs. This helps in improving readability and organization of ideas.

By focusing on these improvements, the essay can achieve better coherence and cohesion, leading to a higher band score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary adequate for the task. It covers basic aspects of the recycling process of plastics, such as distribution, collection, sorting, processing, and distribution of final products. There are attempts to vary vocabulary with phrases like "various stages," "consumption of plastic products," and "recycling process," but these are used somewhat repetitively without significant expansion. Some errors in word choice and word formation are noticeable (e.g., "have its life cycle" instead of "has a life cycle," "Plastic items that can be recycled have its life cycle of seven stages").

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:

Expand the range of vocabulary used beyond basic terms. For instance, instead of "various stages," use synonyms like "distinct phases" or "multiple steps."
Ensure accuracy in word choice and formation. Review sentences for grammatical correctness and clarity.
Incorporate more precise and specific vocabulary related to recycling processes and environmental terminology.

Improving these aspects will help achieve a higher band score by demonstrating a more varied and accurate use of vocabulary suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. However, there are notable grammatical errors throughout the essay that impact clarity and precision. These errors include problems with subject-verb agreement ("Plastic items that can be recycled have its life cycle…"), incorrect tense usage ("It’s a place where sorted plastic goods are converted into usable form."), and awkward phrasing ("the recycling process is more complex than that of disposal of plastics in landfill sites"). The attempt to use complex sentences is evident but often lacks accuracy, affecting the overall coherence of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy score:

Sentence Structure: Focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences.
Grammar and Punctuation: Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and proper use of articles and pronouns.
Clarity and Precision: Aim for clearer expression of ideas, ensuring that each sentence contributes to the overall coherence of the essay without introducing unnecessary complexity that leads to errors.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve greater grammatical accuracy and range, potentially increasing its band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram depicts the recycling process of plastics, illustrating two methods: recycling and landfill disposal. The main feature observed is the complexity contrast between these processes.

Plastic products destined for recycling undergo a seven-stage lifecycle. Initially distributed to retail stores, these items are purchased by consumers and subsequently returned as used plastic bottles to collection points. Following this, the plastics are sorted at warehouses and transported by trucks to processing plants where they are transformed into reusable forms. Finally, the processed products are distributed to retail outlets, thus restarting the cycle.

In contrast, plastics disposed of in landfills undergo a less intricate process compared to recycling.