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The diagram details a process of making clothes from plastic bottles. write 150 words about the process.

The diagram details a process of making clothes from plastic bottles. write 150 words about the process.

The process demonstrates the production of clothes using plastic bottles.
Overall, it involves twelve stages, beginning with collecting plastic to factories, ending with the manufacture of plastic clothes.
Initially, disposal plastic bottles are assembled and conveyed to factories by trucks. Subsequently, they undergo sorting in an assembly line before being cut into small pieces. These plastic pieces are then transfer in a blue washing machine to to remove any impurities. The results is followed by drying process, in which they are they are left to dry in an open area under the sunlight for 10 hours. The following step entails a boiling process occurring in a red gigantic silo where plastic is melted. Afterward, a special machine is employed to strain the liquor of the previous step into threads, which is then create different color yarns. In the next step, yarns are transfer into a weaving machine to produce various colorful rolling, which is used to produce clothes that shown in the final step.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "disposal plastic bottles" -> "discarded plastic bottles"
    Explanation: "Discarded" is a more accurate term for items that have been thrown away, enhancing clarity.

  2. "assembled and conveyed" -> "collected and transported"
    Explanation: "Collected" and "transported" are more straightforward terms that better fit the context of moving items to a factory.

  3. "transfer in a blue washing machine" -> "transferred into a blue washing machine"
    Explanation: The correct verb form is "transferred," indicating a movement into the machine.

  4. "the results is followed by drying process" -> "this is followed by a drying process"
    Explanation: The correction maintains proper agreement and coherence.

  5. "they are they are" -> "they are"
    Explanation: Removing the repetition of "they are" improves readability and eliminates redundancy.

  6. "boiling process" -> "melting process"
    Explanation: The word "boiling" typically refers to liquids reaching their boiling point, while "melting" is more appropriate when describing solids turning into liquids.

  7. "strain the liquor" -> "filter the molten plastic"
    Explanation: "Filter" more accurately describes the process of separating impurities or achieving a specific consistency, while "molten plastic" is a clearer term than "liquor."

  8. "which is then create different color yarns" -> "which then creates various colored yarns"
    Explanation: Correcting the verb tense to ensure proper subject-verb agreement.

  9. "transfer into a weaving machine" -> "transferred into a weaving machine"
    Explanation: Correct verb form, ensuring grammatical correctness.

  10. "produce various colorful rolling" -> "produce various colorful rolls of fabric"
    Explanation: Using "rolls of fabric" is a clearer and more accurate term to describe what is produced.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main stages involved in making clothes from plastic bottles. The writer outlines twelve stages from collecting plastic bottles to the production of plastic clothes.
How to improve: To improve, consider providing more detailed explanations for each stage without adding unnecessary details. Ensure that each step is clearly connected to the overall process of making clothes from plastic bottles. Additionally, focus on improving sentence structure and clarity to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents the process of making clothes from plastic bottles, with some organization evident. The stages are outlined, but there is a lack of overall progression, as the transitions between stages could be smoother. Cohesion is limited, with some repetitive language ("plastic bottles" and "process" are repeated) and insufficient use of cohesive devices. The essay lacks clear referencing and substitution, making it somewhat repetitive. While the essay is divided into paragraphs, the logical flow within and between paragraphs could be improved.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the flow between stages by using transitional phrases or words to guide the reader through the process smoothly. Avoid repetitive language by using synonyms or pronouns where appropriate. Incorporate a variety of cohesive devices such as pronouns, conjunctions, and transitional adverbs to create clearer connections between ideas. Ensure clear referencing and substitution to avoid repetition and improve clarity. Additionally, refine paragraphing to ensure logical organization and coherence within and between paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to the process of making clothes from plastic bottles. The writer employs terms such as "disposal plastic bottles," "sorting," "impurities," "boiling process," "weaving machine," etc., showcasing an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. However, there are instances of inaccurate word choice and awkward phrasing, such as "transfer in a blue washing machine to to remove any impurities" and "then create different color yarns." These inaccuracies slightly hinder the clarity and precision of the description.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary. Proofreading for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing would also improve the overall clarity and coherence of the essay. Additionally, expanding the range of vocabulary by incorporating more specific terms related to each stage of the process would elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, showing an attempt at varied structures. There is an evident effort to incorporate a range of sentence types, although some sentences lack complexity. The essay communicates the process clearly, but there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout, which occasionally affect understanding.

How to improve: To improve the score, focus on refining the complexity of sentence structures further. Ensure consistent accuracy in grammar and punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence. Additionally, consider varying sentence lengths and structures more intentionally to demonstrate greater flexibility and sophistication in writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram illustrates the process of transforming plastic bottles into clothing items. In summary, this process encompasses twelve stages, commencing with the collection of plastic bottles and culminating in the production of plastic garments.

Initially, discarded plastic bottles are gathered and transported to factories via trucks. Subsequently, they undergo sorting on an assembly line before being cut into small pieces. These plastic fragments are then transferred to a blue washing machine to eliminate any impurities. This is followed by a drying process, during which they are left to dry in an open area under sunlight for 10 hours.

The subsequent step involves a boiling process taking place in a large red silo where the plastic is melted. Following this, a specialized machine is utilized to extrude the liquid from the previous step into threads, which are then used to create yarns of different colors. In the subsequent step, these yarns are fed into a weaving machine to produce various colorful rolls, which are then utilized in the production of clothing items as depicted in the final stage.

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