the diagram shows how to make jam from fruit

The picture illustrates several steps to make jam from the fruit, particularly strawberries.

Overall, it is clear that there are eight main stages in the jam-making process, starting with washing strawberries and ending with being enjoyed by family members.

The first step is when 4 kilograms of strawberries are washed to remove dirt strains before being put into a big bowl and crushed into small pieces by using the support of a masher. After that, the resulting mass is boiled on a gas stove for 5-10 minutes, together with a quarter cup of sugar.

The next step is when the mixture is blended at a high temperature after 10 minutes, this is spooned into glass-made jars. At the same time, four cups of sugar are added to the jars. These jars of jam are then opened to cool down for one hour before being completely finished and tightly closed by the lids. Once the final stage has been completed, family members can now enjoy the finished products together.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"dirt strains" -> "dirt stains"
Explanation: The correct term is "dirt stains," as "strains" refers to stretching or filtering, whereas "stains" refers to marks or discolorations.
"by using the support of a masher" -> "with the help of a masher"
Explanation: "With the help of" is a more natural and common expression to indicate the use of an instrument or tool for assistance.
"boiled on a gas stove" -> "boiled over a gas stove"
Explanation: The preposition "over" is more appropriate for indicating the source of heat during the boiling process.
"glass-made jars" -> "glass jars"
Explanation: The term "glass-made" is redundant, as "glass jars" is the usual and clear way to refer to jars made of glass.
"opened to cool down" -> "left open to cool"
Explanation: "Left open to cool" is a more concise and natural way to describe allowing something to cool by keeping it open.
"completely finished" -> "fully set"
Explanation: In the context of jam-making, "fully set" is a more specific and accurate term to indicate that the jam has reached the desired consistency.
"tight closed by the lids" -> "securely sealed with lids"
Explanation: "Securely sealed" is a more formal and precise way to describe the act of closing jars to ensure they are airtight.
"finished products" -> "final product"
Explanation: Using the singular "final product" makes more sense in this context, referring to the end result of the process as a whole.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by providing an overview of the jam-making process with clear steps outlined. Key features such as washing strawberries, crushing them, boiling with sugar, and cooling in jars are presented. However, some details lack specificity, such as the duration of boiling and the temperature for blending. Additionally, the description of the final step could be more detailed.
How to improve:
To improve, provide more specific details about the duration of boiling and the temperature for blending. Additionally, expand on the final step to provide more information about how the jam is enjoyed by family members. Ensure all key features are fully covered and avoid irrelevant or repetitive details.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay effectively arranges information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the beginning to the end of the jam-making process. Each step is logically presented, starting from washing strawberries to the final enjoyment by family members. However, there are some instances where cohesion within and/or between sentences could be improved, such as the transition between the steps. Additionally, while the essay uses cohesive devices effectively, there are some instances of mechanical cohesion. The essay does use paragraphing, but it could be more logically structured, particularly in separating each step of the process into distinct paragraphs.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on smoother transitions between each step of the process. Ensure that the connection between sentences within paragraphs and between paragraphs is clear and seamless. Also, pay attention to paragraph structure to make sure each paragraph focuses on a single step of the process, enhancing the overall organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the essential steps of the process with appropriate terminology such as "washing strawberries," "crushed into small pieces," and "boiled on a gas stove." It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "mass" instead of "mixture," but with some inaccuracy. Additionally, there are some errors in word choice and word formation, such as "to remove dirt strains" instead of "to remove dirt stains" and "strains" instead of "stains." However, these errors do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using more varied and accurate vocabulary throughout the essay. Ensure precise word choice and accurate spelling to convey ideas more effectively. Review the use of less common vocabulary items to ensure they are used correctly in context.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating various steps in the jam-making process. There is an attempt to use a range of structures, such as using passive voice ("are washed"), gerunds ("being enjoyed"), and prepositional phrases ("starting with"). However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, such as "dirt strains" instead of "stains," "this is spooned" lacks clarity, and "the support of a masher" could be rephrased for clarity. Despite these errors, the communication remains relatively clear.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring consistent punctuation usage. Clarify ambiguous phrases and expressions to enhance clarity. Consider varying sentence structures further to demonstrate more flexibility in writing. Additionally, thorough proofreading can help catch and correct minor errors, ensuring a smoother flow of ideas.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram outlines the process of producing jam from strawberries.

In general, the process involves eight main steps, beginning with the washing of 4 kilograms of strawberries and culminating in the enjoyment of the final product by family members.

Initially, the strawberries are washed to remove any dirt and then crushed into small pieces using a masher, resulting in a mass that is subsequently boiled with a quarter cup of sugar on a gas stove for 5-10 minutes.

Following this, the mixture is blended at a high temperature for 10 minutes and then spooned into glass jars. Simultaneously, four cups of sugar are added to the jars.

The jars of jam are then left to cool for one hour before being sealed tightly with lids, completing the process.

This process illustrates the straightforward yet precise steps involved in making strawberry jam, from preparation to final consumption.