The diagrams below show changes in Felixstone in the UK between 1967 and 2001.

The given pictures depict the transformation that took place in Felixstone in the UK from 1967 to 2001.
In general, the area witnessed touristic changes with the most noticeable being in the addition of new beaches, hotel, tennis court and swimming pool.
In the top right corner of the map, there used to be a huge farmland which was cleared in order to constructed a hotel, tennis court and swimming pool in 2001. To the left of new resort, along the high street, was the apartments which had replaced the shopping area before. Although multiple changes in the amenities, the location and size of the golf and another shops had unchanged during the period.
In terms of the seaside, some economical facilities such as fish market, marina and pier had all been demolished, therefor, leaving spaces for the new beaches with two specific seashores for public and private purpose. Another striking point was the adding of the car park to the coastal hotel and multiple wind turbines to manufacture renewable energy in front of the previous dunes, while an old cafe and jungle had still been remained until 2001.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"touristic changes" -> "tourism-related changes"
Explanation: The term "touristic" is not commonly used in formal writing and can be vague. "Tourism-related changes" is more precise and appropriate for academic contexts.
"the most noticeable being in the addition of new beaches, hotel, tennis court and swimming pool" -> "the most notable changes were the addition of new beaches, a hotel, a tennis court, and a swimming pool"
Explanation: Adding articles ("a" before "hotel, tennis court, and swimming pool") corrects the grammatical structure, and "notable" is more formal than "noticeable" in this context.
"there used to be a huge farmland" -> "there was a significant agricultural area"
Explanation: "Huge" is an informal and subjective term; "significant" is more objective and suitable for formal writing. "Agricultural area" is a more precise term than "farmland."
"was cleared in order to constructed" -> "was cleared to construct"
Explanation: "In order to" is redundant when followed by "to construct." Simplifying to "to construct" improves the sentence’s clarity and formality.
"along the high street, was the apartments" -> "along the high street, were the apartments"
Explanation: The verb "was" should be "were" to agree with the plural subject "apartments."
"multiple changes in the amenities" -> "various changes to the amenities"
Explanation: "Various" is more precise and formal than "multiple" in this context, and "to" is the correct preposition for indicating change.
"the location and size of the golf and another shops" -> "the location and size of the golf course and other shops"
Explanation: "Golf" should be "golf course" for clarity, and "other" should be "other shops" to maintain grammatical agreement.
"some economical facilities" -> "some economic facilities"
Explanation: "Economical" refers to cost-effective, whereas "economic" refers to relating to the economy, which is the intended meaning here.
"therefor" -> "therefore"
Explanation: "Therefor" is a typographical error; "therefore" is the correct word.
"leaving spaces for the new beaches" -> "leaving space for the new beaches"
Explanation: "Spaces" is plural, but "space" is the correct singular noun to use when referring to a single area.
"with two specific seashores for public and private purpose" -> "with two designated seashores for public and private use"
Explanation: "Purpose" is not typically used in this context; "use" is more appropriate and formal. "Designated" adds specificity to the type of seashores.
"the adding of the car park" -> "the addition of a car park"
Explanation: "Adding" is a gerund form that should be "addition" for grammatical correctness and formality.
"multiple wind turbines to manufacture renewable energy" -> "multiple wind turbines to generate renewable energy"
Explanation: "Manufacture" is too broad and incorrect in this context; "generate" is the correct verb for producing energy from wind turbines.
"an old cafe and jungle had still been remained" -> "an old cafe and a jungle remained"
Explanation: "Had still been remained" is awkward and incorrect; "remained" should be used without "had still been" for simplicity and correctness.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in Felixstone between 1967 and 2001. It identifies the key features of the changes, such as the addition of new beaches, a hotel, tennis courts, and a swimming pool. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the golf course and shops remained unchanged, but the diagrams show that the shops were replaced by apartments.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about the changes. For example, the essay could describe the size and location of the new beaches, the type of hotel that was built, and the number of tennis courts and swimming pools. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant details, such as the statement that the golf course and shops remained unchanged.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some attempt at organizing information, but there are significant issues with coherence and cohesion throughout. There is a lack of clear progression in presenting ideas, as the information jumps between different aspects of the transformation without a cohesive flow. The use of cohesive devices is basic and often inaccurate or repetitive, such as in phrases like "the location and size of the golf and another shops had unchanged." Additionally, paragraphing is not logically structured, with sentences grouped together in ways that hinder readability rather than enhance it.

How to improve:

Organize ideas coherently: Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear aspect of the transformation, with a logical flow from one paragraph to the next.
Use cohesive devices effectively: Use cohesive devices (e.g., pronouns, conjunctions, transitional phrases) accurately to establish clear relationships between ideas.
Improve paragraph structure: Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and coherent supporting sentences that relate back to the main idea of the paragraph.
Avoid repetition and inaccuracies: Be mindful of repeating information unnecessarily and strive for accurate use of language to avoid confusion.

This essay would benefit from clearer planning and a more structured approach to presenting the changes in Felixstone from 1967 to 2001.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a basic level of lexical resource with some attempt to convey information using a limited range of vocabulary. There are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the essay. For example, "touristic changes" could be improved to "tourism-related changes", and there are issues with pluralization ("seashores" instead of "seashore"). There are also errors such as "therefor" instead of "therefore" and awkward phrasing like "had all been demolished". These errors do cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score:

Expand the range of vocabulary used, particularly in describing changes ("transformation", "renovation", "development").
Work on accuracy in word choice and usage to avoid errors that affect clarity and precision.
Pay attention to spelling and word formation to enhance readability and coherence.

By addressing these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score by demonstrating better control and variety in lexical features.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including simple and some complex sentences. There are efforts to convey ideas clearly, though some sentences lack grammatical accuracy and clarity. Punctuation errors and inaccuracies occasionally hinder communication.

How to improve: To improve, focus on expanding the range of sentence structures further, ensuring accuracy in complex sentences. Pay attention to correct punctuation usage and eliminate grammatical errors to enhance clarity and coherence in the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report:

The provided diagrams illustrate the changes that occurred in Felixstone, UK, from 1967 to 2001.

Overall, the area underwent significant transformation, primarily focusing on tourism development. Notably, new amenities such as beaches, a hotel, a tennis court, and a swimming pool were introduced.

In the northeast corner of the map, a large farmland was replaced by a hotel, tennis court, and swimming pool by 2001. Adjacent to this new resort area, along the high street, apartments replaced the former shopping district. Meanwhile, the golf course and other shops remained unchanged in location and size throughout the period.

Regarding the coastline, economic facilities like the fish market, marina, and pier were demolished, making space for new public and private beaches. Additionally, a car park was added near the coastal hotel, and several wind turbines were installed to generate renewable energy in front of the previous dunes. Notably, an old café and the jungle area remained unchanged until 2001.

This revised version maintains the original structure and vocabulary while improving clarity and precision. It aims to be informative and aligned with IELTS standards, focusing on accuracy in grammar and content representation.