The government should pay for the course fees for everyone who wants to study at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a contemporary era, it is asserted by some individuals that authority ought to bear entire tuition fees of students having an inclination for pursuing higher education. From my viewpoint, I partly agree with covering complete learning expenses of the government.

On the one hand, there are various benefits associated with sponsoring full tuition costs for students in further education. One of the foremost advantages of completing payment to pupils' fees is insecuring the equality among people. This policy of the government can create opportunities to many students desiring for meeting tertiary education, especially who have poor conditions or unprivileged lives. Thanks to the entire investment in tuition costs from the authority, these students can access to the best resources and facilities, have professional occupations, then enhance their living standards, which can help to bridge the wealth gap and promote the balance in contemporary society. Moreover, students can pay more attention on learning instead of being distracted by financial issues to make ends meet.

On the other hand, there are a variety of drawbacks related to entire payment to learning expenses for students who want to go on further education of the administrator. From an economic perspective, due to bearing tuitions fees, the government also have the responsiblity to relocate financial resources to pay salary for educational staffs and enhance educational infrastructure, substituting for tertiary instuitions. Meanwhile, there are a plethora of crucial sectors, which cannot survive without investment from the authority. As a result, this can put pressure on state budget, which means that the government may shoulder financial burdens. Furthermore, investment on full tuition fees of the administrator might lead to a decrease in motivation because students receive benefits without any requirements. Consequently, many students tend to delay graduation or be struggle with planning for their upcoming lives.

In conclusion, although I partly agree with covering full tuition fees for universities students of the government due to the balance of society and a higher level of concentration in students, this policy has various downsides such as financial burdens for the authority and a reduce in motivation of students.

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Errors and Improvements:

"contemporary era" -> "modern era"
Explanation: "Contemporary era" is a bit redundant. "Modern era" is a more concise and academically appropriate alternative.
"it is asserted by some individuals" -> "some individuals argue"
Explanation: "It is asserted by some individuals" is passive and less direct. "Some individuals argue" is a more active and assertive phrase commonly used in academic writing.
"ought to bear entire tuition fees" -> "should cover all tuition fees"
Explanation: "Ought to bear entire tuition fees" is a bit awkward. "Should cover all tuition fees" is a clearer and more direct expression.
"From my viewpoint" -> "In my opinion"
Explanation: "From my viewpoint" is more informal. "In my opinion" is a standard phrase in academic writing.
"covering complete learning expenses of the government" -> "government covering all educational expenses"
Explanation: "Covering complete learning expenses of the government" is unnecessarily wordy. "Government covering all educational expenses" is a more concise alternative.
"sponsoring full tuition costs" -> "funding full tuition expenses"
Explanation: "Sponsoring full tuition costs" is not the most common expression. "Funding full tuition expenses" is more straightforward and commonly used.
"insecuring the equality among people" -> "ensuring equality among individuals"
Explanation: "Insecuring" is not a standard word. "Ensuring" is a clearer alternative. Additionally, "people" can be replaced with "individuals" for a more formal tone.
"desiring for meeting tertiary education" -> "seeking tertiary education"
Explanation: "Desiring for meeting tertiary education" is awkward phrasing. "Seeking tertiary education" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"unprivileged lives" -> "underprivileged circumstances"
Explanation: "Unprivileged lives" is not commonly used. "Underprivileged circumstances" is a more appropriate and formal expression.
"access to the best resources and facilities" -> "access to high-quality resources and facilities"
Explanation: "Best" is somewhat subjective and informal. "High-quality" is a more objective and formal term.
"have professional occupations" -> "pursue professional careers"
Explanation: "Have professional occupations" is less common in academic writing. "Pursue professional careers" is a more fitting expression.
"then enhance their living standards" -> "thus improving their living standards"
Explanation: "Then enhance their living standards" is a bit awkward. "Thus improving their living standards" is more concise and grammatically correct.
"to bridge the wealth gap" -> "to narrow the wealth gap"
Explanation: "Bridge" can be replaced with "narrow" for a more common and appropriate term in this context.
"contemporary society" -> "modern society"
Explanation: "Contemporary society" is slightly redundant. "Modern society" is a simpler and more commonly used term.
"pay more attention on learning" -> "focus more on learning"
Explanation: "Pay more attention on learning" is awkward phrasing. "Focus more on learning" is clearer and more concise.
"financial issues to make ends meet" -> "financial challenges to make ends meet"
Explanation: "Financial issues" can be replaced with "financial challenges" for a more formal tone.
"variety of drawbacks related to entire payment" -> "various drawbacks associated with full payment"
Explanation: "Variety of drawbacks related to entire payment" is awkward phrasing. "Various drawbacks associated with full payment" is more concise and clearer.
"further education of the administrator" -> "further education by the government"
Explanation: "Further education of the administrator" is grammatically incorrect. "Further education by the government" is a more appropriate phrase.
"due to bearing tuitions fees" -> "due to covering tuition fees"
Explanation: "Bearing tuitions fees" is less precise. "Covering tuition fees" is a more appropriate term.
"have the responsiblity to relocate financial resources" -> "have the responsibility to allocate financial resources"
Explanation: "Relocate financial resources" is not the most accurate term. "Allocate financial resources" is more appropriate in this context.
"substituting for tertiary instuitions" -> "improving tertiary institutions"
Explanation: "Substituting for tertiary institutions" is unclear. "Improving tertiary institutions" clarifies the intended meaning.
"plethora of crucial sectors" -> "numerous crucial sectors"
Explanation: "Plethora" is slightly informal. "Numerous" is a more precise and formal alternative.
"put pressure on state budget" -> "strain the state budget"
Explanation: "Put pressure on state budget" can be replaced with "strain the state budget" for a clearer expression.
"shoulder financial burdens" -> "bear financial burdens"
Explanation: "Shoulder financial burdens" is less formal. "Bear financial burdens" is a more suitable phrase.
"lead to a decrease in motivation" -> "result in decreased motivation"
Explanation: "Lead to a decrease in motivation" can be expressed more concisely as "result in decreased motivation."
"be struggle with planning" -> "struggle with planning"
Explanation: "Be struggle with planning" is grammatically incorrect. "Struggle with planning" is the correct phrase.
"their upcoming lives" -> "their future endeavors"
Explanation: "Upcoming lives" is less formal. "Future endeavors" is a more appropriate and formal term.
"although I partly agree" -> "while I partially agree"
Explanation: "Although I partly agree" is slightly informal. "While I partially agree" is a more formal expression.
"universities students of the government" -> "government-sponsored university students"
Explanation: "Universities students of the government" is unclear. "Government-sponsored university students" clarifies that the government is providing support for these students.
"a reduce in motivation" -> "a reduction in motivation"
Explanation: "A reduce in motivation" contains a grammatical error. "A reduction in motivation" is the correct phrase.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay adequately addresses all parts of the question. It presents a balanced view on whether the government should cover university tuition fees, discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
- How to improve: To enhance comprehensiveness, ensure that each viewpoint is fully explored and supported with specific examples or evidence. Additionally, explicitly restate the question in the introduction to demonstrate a clear understanding of the task.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position throughout, stating partial agreement with the proposition that the government should cover tuition fees for university students. This stance is consistently supported and reflected in the arguments presented.
- How to improve: To further strengthen clarity, reinforce the position by explicitly stating it in the introduction and conclusion. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to and reinforces the stated position.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively presents, extends, and supports ideas with relevant arguments and examples. It elaborates on the advantages and disadvantages of government-funded tuition fees, offering explanations and implications for each point.
- How to improve: To enhance development, provide more nuanced analysis and depth in discussing the presented ideas. Incorporate additional evidence or real-world examples to bolster the arguments and illustrate the points made.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic by discussing the issue of government-funded tuition fees for university students. However, there are instances where the discussion could be more focused, particularly in ensuring that all points directly relate to the topic.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, carefully evaluate each argument and example to ensure its relevance to the central topic. Avoid tangential discussions that do not directly contribute to addressing the prompt.

Overall, while the essay effectively presents a balanced view on the issue of government-funded tuition fees for university students and maintains a clear position throughout, there is room for improvement in comprehensiveness, clarity, development of ideas, and maintaining focus on the topic. By incorporating these suggestions, the essay can further enhance its coherence, cohesion, and overall effectiveness.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a generally logical organization of information. It begins with an introduction that presents the writer’s partial agreement with the idea of government-sponsored university tuition fees. The body paragraphs discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this policy in separate sections, offering supporting arguments for each viewpoint. Finally, the conclusion restates the writer’s partial agreement and summarizes the main points. However, there are some instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother, such as the transition between paragraphs and the coherence within paragraphs.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, focus on creating clearer transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences within the paragraph relate directly to that topic.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize its ideas, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there are areas where paragraph structure could be improved for better coherence and effectiveness. Some paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be separated for clarity, while others lack sufficient development of the central topic.
- How to improve: Work on ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea or argument, supported by relevant evidence or examples. Additionally, consider breaking longer paragraphs into shorter ones to improve readability and emphasize key points.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes a range of cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve coherence, including transitional phrases ("On the one hand," "On the other hand," "In conclusion"), pronouns ("these," "this"), and cohesive conjunctions ("Moreover," "Furthermore"). However, there is room for improvement in the variety and effectiveness of cohesive devices used, as some transitions could be smoother and more explicit.
- How to improve: Expand the use of cohesive devices beyond basic transitions to include a variety of connectors, such as conjunctive adverbs (e.g., "however," "therefore") and parallel structures. Additionally, ensure that each cohesive device is used appropriately and effectively to strengthen the logical flow of ideas throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a commendable effort to utilize a diverse range of vocabulary throughout. There is evidence of a variety of vocabulary choices, although some terms may not be used with optimal precision or effectiveness. For instance, phrases like "authority ought to bear entire tuition fees" and "desiring for meeting tertiary education" exhibit attempts to incorporate less common vocabulary, contributing to lexical variety.
- How to improve: To enhance the breadth and effectiveness of vocabulary usage, strive for greater precision and appropriateness in word choice. Instead of "authority ought to bear entire tuition fees," consider alternatives like "government should fully subsidize university tuition." Additionally, aim to use idiomatic expressions and collocations more accurately to further enrich the lexical range.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay occasionally demonstrates imprecise vocabulary usage, which impacts clarity and precision. For instance, phrases like "investment in tuition costs from the authority" could be more precise; "investment by the government in tuition expenses" would convey the intended meaning more clearly. Similarly, "a reduce in motivation of students" lacks precision; "a decrease in student motivation" would be more appropriate.
- How to improve: To improve precision in vocabulary usage, focus on selecting terms that accurately convey intended meanings. Consider using specialized vocabulary where appropriate, ensuring that each word contributes to clarity and coherence. Reviewing the essay for instances of vague or ambiguous language and replacing them with more precise alternatives will enhance overall lexical precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: Spelling accuracy is generally satisfactory throughout the essay. However, there are a few instances where errors are present, such as "responsiblity" (responsibility) and "instuitions" (institutions). These errors, while infrequent, slightly detract from the overall professionalism and clarity of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spell-checking tools and proofreading techniques to identify and correct errors before submission. Additionally, practice recognizing common spelling patterns and frequently misspelled words to develop greater proficiency in spelling. Taking the time to review written work meticulously for spelling errors can significantly enhance overall spelling accuracy and ensure a polished final product.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. However, there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures further. For instance, while there are instances of complex sentences, such as "One of the foremost advantages of completing payment to pupils’ fees is in securing the equality among people," the essay could benefit from incorporating more variety, such as using conditional sentences or rhetorical questions, to enhance coherence and engagement.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, consider incorporating a variety of sentence types, including compound-complex sentences, conditional sentences, and rhetorical devices like parallelism or inversion. For example, instead of relying solely on straightforward declarative sentences, experiment with posing questions or employing conditional clauses to add depth and complexity to your argument.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: Overall, the essay demonstrates a reasonable level of grammatical accuracy, with a few notable errors. There are instances of subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "there are a variety of drawbacks") and articles missing or used incorrectly (e.g., "insecuring the equality"). Additionally, punctuation errors are evident, including missing commas in compound sentences and inconsistent capitalization (e.g., "responsiblity").
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles. Review the rules regarding punctuation, particularly the placement of commas in compound sentences and the proper capitalization of nouns. Proofreading the essay carefully can help identify and correct these errors, ensuring clarity and coherence in your writing. Additionally, consider seeking feedback from peers or utilizing grammar-checking tools to further refine your skills in grammar and punctuation.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the modern era, some individuals argue that the government should cover all tuition fees for those seeking tertiary education. In my opinion, government funding for full tuition expenses can play a crucial role, ensuring equality among individuals and enabling access to high-quality resources and facilities for those underprivileged circumstances.

On one hand, there are significant benefits associated with the government covering all educational expenses. One of the foremost advantages is ensuring equality among individuals. By funding full tuition fees, the government provides opportunities for students from disadvantaged backgrounds to pursue professional careers, thus improving their living standards and narrowing the wealth gap in modern society. Additionally, this support allows students to focus more on learning and less on financial challenges to make ends meet.

However, there are also various drawbacks associated with full payment of tuition fees by the government. Economically, it places strain on the state budget, as the government must allocate financial resources not only to cover tuition fees but also to improve tertiary institutions and support numerous crucial sectors. This can result in decreased motivation among students, as they may not feel the same level of responsibility for their education when tuition fees are fully covered. As a consequence, some students may struggle with planning for their future endeavors, potentially delaying their graduation or career progression.

In conclusion, while I partially agree with the idea of government-sponsored university students, it’s essential to consider the potential reduction in motivation and strain on the state budget. Balancing the benefits and drawbacks is crucial in determining the most effective approach to supporting higher education.