The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1984 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Looking at first in Japan and the USA. The cost of bananas in the two nations increased moderately from 1994 to 1995, at around 2.8 US dollars and 1.2 US dollars respectively. Between 1995 and 2001, Japan had a fluctuation from 2.8 dollars per kilogram to 1.6 US dollars per kilogram. By 2001, this nation lost the highest position, before recovering to 2.6 US dollars in 2004. The USA saw a fluctuation from around 1.2 USD to 1.1 USD in the price of bananas from 1995 to 1995 before stabilizing until 2004, at around 1.1 USD.
Turning to France, there was a stabilization of around 1.6 dollars per kilogram in banana costs from 1995 to 1997 meanwhile Germany witnessed a fluctuation at the same time. Next 4 years, both Germany and France fluctuated between 1997 and 2001, with France's banana price outstripping Japan's figure becoming the highest in all countries, at about 1.9 USD. In 2003, the cost of bananas hit the bottom by 1 UDS before restoring to 1.6 dollars per kilogram. Finally, A fluctuation from 1.4 USD to 1.2 USD was seen in the banana prices in Germany from 2001 to 2004.

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Errors and Improvements:

"Looking at first" -> "Initially examining"
Explanation: "Looking at first" is colloquial; "Initially examining" is more formal and precise.
"fluctuation from 2.8 dollars per kilogram to 1.6 US dollars per kilogram" -> "fluctuation from 2.8 USD per kilogram to 1.6 USD per kilogram"
Explanation: "2.8 dollars per kilogram" and "1.6 US dollars per kilogram" use inconsistent currency notation; using "USD" throughout maintains consistency.
"hit the bottom by 1 UDS" -> "reached a low of 1 USD"
Explanation: "hit the bottom" is informal; "reached a low of" is more precise and formal. "USD" should be corrected to "USD" for consistency.
"Finally, A fluctuation" -> "Lastly, a fluctuation"
Explanation: "Finally, A fluctuation" lacks coherence; "Lastly, a fluctuation" provides a smoother transition.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features and making comparisons between the prices of bananas in four countries over the specified time period. The overview is generally clear, covering the fluctuations and trends in banana prices in Japan, the USA, France, and Germany. Key features such as price fluctuations and relative positions of countries are highlighted, though some details may be inaccurate or irrelevant, such as minor inconsistencies in the reported prices.
How to improve:
To improve, ensure that all details provided are accurate and relevant. Additionally, extend the analysis of the trends and fluctuations in banana prices to provide a more comprehensive overview. Avoid minor inaccuracies or inconsistencies in reporting data to enhance clarity and precision.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a lack of overall progression. The essay attempts to describe the price of bananas in four countries over time, but the information is presented in a somewhat disjointed manner. There are some attempts at using cohesive devices, but they are inadequate and may be inaccurate. The essay also lacks clear paragraphing, making it difficult to follow the progression of ideas.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, the essay should be structured more clearly. Each country’s banana price trend should be presented in a logical sequence, with clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices should be more accurate and varied, helping to connect ideas and create a smoother flow of information. Additionally, the essay should be divided into paragraphs to enhance readability and organization.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It effectively describes the fluctuations in banana prices across the mentioned countries over the specified time period. There’s an attempt to use less common vocabulary such as "fluctuation," "stabilization," and "outstripping," although some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings are present, which slightly affect clarity. Spelling and word formation errors, such as "US dollars" written as "USD" inconsistently and "kilogram" misspelled as "kilogarm," are noticeable but do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim for greater accuracy and precision in word choice and phrasing. Ensure consistent usage of terms such as "US dollars" instead of alternating between "USD" and "US dollars." Additionally, pay close attention to spelling and word formation to avoid distracting errors. Consider incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary to convey ideas more precisely and effectively.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating a variety of structures to convey information about the price of bananas in different countries over time. There is an attempt to use complex sentences, such as "Between 1995 and 2001, Japan had a fluctuation from 2.8 dollars per kilogram to 1.6 US dollars per kilogram," although the accuracy of these sentences could be improved.

While the essay generally communicates the main features of the data, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout. For instance, "Turning to France, there was a stabilization of around 1.6 dollars per kilogram in banana costs from 1995 to 1997 meanwhile Germany witnessed a fluctuation at the same time" could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures with greater precision. Pay close attention to punctuation, ensuring that each sentence is clear and correctly punctuated. Review complex sentence structures to ensure accuracy and clarity, avoiding any confusion in meaning. Additionally, consider refining the organization and coherence of the essay to enhance overall clarity and effectiveness.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided graph illustrates the fluctuations in banana prices across Japan, the USA, France, and Germany over the period from 1984 to 2004.

Initially, both Japan and the USA experienced moderate increases in banana prices from 1994 to 1995, reaching approximately 2.8 US dollars and 1.2 US dollars per kilogram, respectively. Subsequently, Japan witnessed fluctuations in prices, ranging from 2.8 to 1.6 US dollars per kilogram until 2001, when it briefly lost its position as the highest-priced nation. However, by 2004, Japan’s prices recovered to 2.6 US dollars per kilogram. In contrast, the USA saw a slight decrease in prices from 1995 to 1996, stabilizing around 1.1 US dollars per kilogram until 2004.

France maintained a relatively stable price of approximately 1.6 US dollars per kilogram from 1995 to 1997, while Germany experienced fluctuations during the same period. However, from 1997 to 2001, both countries witnessed fluctuations, with France surpassing Japan’s prices and becoming the highest among the four countries, peaking at about 1.9 US dollars per kilogram. In 2003, France’s prices dipped to 1 US dollar before rebounding to 1.6 US dollars per kilogram.

Germany observed a fluctuation in banana prices from 1.4 US dollars to 1.2 US dollars per kilogram between 2001 and 2004.