The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison relevant where relevant Write at least 150 words

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals in 2014.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison relevant where relevant
Write at least 150 words

The diagram illustrates the cost of three metals including copper, nickel and zinc in average in 2014. Overall, those elements fluctuated through various months, especially the cost of copper which was considered to be the most unpredictable through this period, the cost of other metal such as nickel and zinc also varied despite low rate of changing.
Firstly, in January, it can be realized that the nickel reached a peak of the diagram with 6% while the amount of producing the other is quite modest with 2% for copper and just 1% for zinc. Secondly, in February and March, there was a dramatic decrease of nickel from 6% to 1%. Furthermore, the rate of copper is also on the gradual decline about 1.5%; however, the price of zinc steadily rose up in February but similarly, it immediately reduced in next month. Secondly, in the period of next three months from April to June, initially, the rate of zinc remained unstable but reached the lowest point in 2014 with -3 percent. Additionally, this occured similarly to copper and zinc with noticeable dip. Following that in next three months, the cost of three metals including copper, nickel and zinc altogether remain static in 1%, -0.5 percent and –0,1 percent, respectively. Finally, in the last three months of 2024, all of the elements uplifted constantly after falling in a significant period when copper and zinc increased approximately 1% and nickel remained unstable in November and December.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"in average" -> "on average"
Explanation: "On average" is the correct phrase for indicating the typical or average value of something, which is more appropriate in formal academic writing.
"fluctuated through various months" -> "varied over the course of various months"
Explanation: "Varied over the course of" is a more precise and formal way to describe changes occurring over a period of time.
"the cost of copper which was considered to be the most unpredictable" -> "the cost of copper, which was the most unpredictable"
Explanation: Removing "which" after "copper" corrects the grammatical structure and improves readability.
"the cost of other metal such as nickel and zinc" -> "the costs of the other metals, such as nickel and zinc"
Explanation: Adding "the" before "costs" and "metals" corrects the plural form and enhances grammatical accuracy.
"despite low rate of changing" -> "despite a relatively low rate of change"
Explanation: "A relatively low rate of change" is a more precise and formal expression than "low rate of changing."
"it can be realized that" -> "it is evident that"
Explanation: "It is evident that" is a more formal and academically appropriate phrase for indicating obvious conclusions.
"the nickel reached a peak of the diagram" -> "nickel reached its peak on the diagram"
Explanation: "Reached its peak on the diagram" corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the location of the peak.
"the amount of producing the other" -> "the production levels of the other metals"
Explanation: "The production levels of the other metals" is more specific and clearer than "the amount of producing the other."
"dramatic decrease" -> "significant decrease"
Explanation: "Significant" is a more formal and precise term than "dramatic" in academic writing.
"gradual decline" -> "gradual decrease"
Explanation: "Decrease" is more commonly used in economic contexts to describe a reduction in value or quantity.
"rose up" -> "increased"
Explanation: "Increased" is a more formal and precise term than "rose up" in this context.
"immediately reduced" -> "immediately decreased"
Explanation: "Decreased" is the correct verb form for describing a reduction in value or quantity.
"this occured similarly to copper and zinc" -> "this occurred similarly to copper and zinc"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "occurred" to "occurred" and adding the article "the" before "copper and zinc" improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"noticeable dip" -> "notable dip"
Explanation: "Notable" is a more formal synonym for "noticeable" and is preferred in academic writing.
"remain static in 1%, -0.5 percent and –0,1 percent" -> "remained static at 1%, -0.5%, and -0.1%"
Explanation: Correcting the punctuation and using "remained" instead of "remain" aligns with the past tense of the sentence, and using percentages with a zero before the decimal point is more conventional in formal writing.
"all of the elements uplifted constantly" -> "all the elements continued to rise steadily"
Explanation: "Continued to rise steadily" is a more precise and formal way to describe ongoing increases in value or quantity.

These changes enhance the academic tone and precision of the essay, aligning it more closely with formal writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by providing an overview of the main trends in the graph. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay also presents key features/bullet points but does not fully extend them. For example, the essay states that "the cost of copper which was considered to be the most unpredictable through this period," but does not provide any specific examples to support this claim.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the graph. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific examples to support the claims made about the key features/bullet points. For example, the essay could state that "the cost of copper fluctuated significantly throughout the year, with a sharp decline in June and a gradual increase in the last three months." The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in the graph. For example, instead of saying "the cost of copper fluctuated significantly," the essay could say "the cost of copper experienced a sharp decline in June, followed by a gradual increase in the last three months."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the changes in metal prices, but it lacks clear overall progression and organization. While there is some attempt to describe trends, the ideas are not arranged coherently, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate, with instances of repetition and unclear references. Paragraphing is attempted but not always logical, as the flow of information is disrupted by awkward transitions and some sentences are convoluted.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the information more logically, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic. Using a wider range of cohesive devices appropriately will help to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, improving the clarity of references and ensuring that paragraphing follows a logical structure will contribute to a more coherent essay. Lastly, proofreading for grammatical accuracy and clarity will also strengthen the overall presentation.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. While it attempts to describe the changes in metal prices, the vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with several inaccuracies in word choice and collocation (e.g., "the amount of producing the other" is awkward and unclear). There are noticeable errors in spelling and word formation (e.g., "occured" should be "occurred", "uplifted" is less common in this context). These errors may cause some difficulty for the reader in understanding the overall message.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including less common lexical items, and ensure that word choices are appropriate for the context. Additionally, improving spelling and grammatical accuracy will help to convey the message more clearly. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more sophisticated and precise expression of ideas.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of grammatical structures, primarily relying on simple sentence forms with some attempts at complex sentences. While there are instances of grammatical accuracy, such as the use of basic subject-verb agreement, frequent errors in sentence construction and punctuation are present. For example, phrases like "the cost of other metal such as nickel and zinc also varied despite low rate of changing" are awkward and lack clarity. Additionally, there are issues with word choice and phrasing, such as "the amount of producing the other is quite modest," which can confuse the reader. These errors can hinder communication, leading to the assigned score.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including more complex sentences. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement and ensuring that phrases are clear and concise will also improve the overall quality. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation and grammatical errors before submission can help reduce mistakes that may impede understanding. Engaging with more complex grammatical forms and practicing their correct usage in context will further elevate the essay’s score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram illustrates the average monthly changes in the prices of three metals: copper, nickel, and zinc in 2014. Overall, these metals fluctuated throughout various months, particularly the price of copper, which was the most unpredictable during this period. The costs of the other metals, such as nickel and zinc, also varied, albeit at a lower rate of change.

Firstly, in January, it can be observed that nickel reached a peak of 6%, while the changes in the other metals were relatively modest, with copper at 2% and zinc at just 1%. Secondly, in February and March, there was a dramatic decrease in nickel from 6% to 1%. Furthermore, the price of copper also experienced a gradual decline of about 1.5%; however, the price of zinc steadily rose in February but similarly decreased in the following month.

In the subsequent three months from April to June, the price of zinc remained unstable, reaching the lowest point in 2014 at -3%. Additionally, copper and nickel also experienced noticeable dips during this period. Following that, in the next three months, the prices of all three metals—copper, nickel, and zinc—remained relatively static at 1%, -0.5%, and -0.1%, respectively. Finally, in the last three months of 2014, all of the metals showed a consistent increase after a significant decline, with copper and zinc rising by approximately 1%, while nickel remained unstable in November and December.