The graph below shows the hours of teaching per year done by each teacher in four different categories. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the hours of teaching per year done by each teacher in four different categories.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features of the graph and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart illustrates how many hours each teacher spent on teaching primary, lower secondary and upper secondary level in four different countries in 2001.
Overall, teachers dedicated the majority of their time to teaching upper secondary in Japan, Spain and USA, while lower secondary accounted for the highest portion of teachers' time in Ireland. It is also clear that the least of time was devoted to both teaching primary and lower secondary classes in Japan and Spain in 2001, except for the remaining two nations, where the allocation of teaching hours to primary grade was the lowest in the surveyed year.
The highest number of teaching hours for upper secondary was observed in the USA, at approximately 1100 hours annually, followed closely by lower secondary (1050 hours per year), compared to the lowest figure, which was less than 900 hours per year allocated to the primary classes. Significant disparities were also noted in Ireland, the teaching hours of lower and upper secondary schools far exceeded that of primary schools , with respective figures being approximately 800 hours, 790 hours and 600 hours per year.
About 600 hours per year was allocated to delivering lessons of both primary and lower secondary grade in both Japan and Spain. In addition, these two countries have the same largest time of teaching upper secondary schools, which was nearly 1000 hours per year in Spain and 700 hours per year in Japan .

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"how many hours" -> "the number of hours"
Explanation: Using "the number of hours" instead of "how many hours" enhances formality and clarity in describing the data presented in the bar chart.
"dedicated" -> "allocated"
Explanation: "Allocated" is a more precise term in this context as it specifically refers to the distribution or assignment of time, which is what is being described regarding teachers’ time spent on teaching different levels.
"portion" -> "proportion"
Explanation: "Proportion" is a more accurate term when discussing the distribution of time or resources, particularly in this context where it refers to the amount of time spent on teaching different levels.
"least of time" -> "least amount of time"
Explanation: "Least amount of time" provides a clearer and more grammatically correct expression of the idea.
"except for the remaining two nations" -> "with the exception of the other two nations"
Explanation: The suggested phrase provides a smoother transition and clearer indication of the comparison being made.
"number of teaching hours" -> "teaching hours"
Explanation: "Teaching hours" is a concise alternative that maintains clarity while reducing redundancy.
"observed" -> "recorded"
Explanation: "Recorded" adds precision to the description of the data presented in the chart.
"Significant disparities were also noted" -> "Significant disparities were also observed"
Explanation: "Observed" maintains consistency with the previous verb choice and is slightly more formal than "noted."
"far exceeded" -> "exceeded by a considerable margin"
Explanation: "Exceeded by a considerable margin" provides a more precise and descriptive expression of the significant disparities mentioned.
"About" -> "Approximately"
Explanation: "Approximately" is more formal and precise when indicating an estimation.
"delivering lessons" -> "teaching"
Explanation: "Teaching" is a more general and appropriate term for describing the activities of educators in this context.
"grade" -> "level"
Explanation: "Level" is a more encompassing term that includes both primary and lower secondary education, providing clarity in this context.
"time of teaching" -> "teaching time"
Explanation: "Teaching time" is a more natural and commonly used phrase to describe the duration or amount of time dedicated to teaching activities.
"largest time" -> "greatest amount of time"
Explanation: "Greatest amount of time" provides a clearer and more grammatically correct expression of the idea.
"nearly" -> "approximately"
Explanation: "Approximately" is a more precise term when indicating an estimation, enhancing the clarity of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends and differences in teaching hours across primary, lower secondary, and upper secondary levels in four different countries. It presents and highlights key features such as the distribution of teaching hours among different levels and countries. However, the response could be more fully developed by providing additional details and explanations to support the comparisons made.

How to improve:
To improve, consider providing more specific details and explanations, such as reasons for the observed disparities in teaching hours among the different countries and levels. Additionally, ensure that all comparisons are clear and supported by the data provided in the graph.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas with clear progression throughout. It effectively uses cohesive devices to connect ideas, though there are instances of slightly overused cohesive devices. The central topic within each paragraph is presented clearly. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, aiding the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, pay attention to slightly overused cohesive devices to ensure they don’t distract from the main content. Additionally, strive for more varied cohesive devices to add richness to the text. Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a central topic, avoiding any potential tangents or diversions.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. It effectively summarizes the information presented in the graph and makes relevant comparisons between the countries and educational levels. The writer uses less common lexical items and shows awareness of style and collocation. Although there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, they do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve: To further enhance lexical resource, strive for more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. Pay close attention to word choice and ensure accurate collocation. Review and revise for occasional inaccuracies to achieve greater precision in conveying meanings.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good level of grammatical range and accuracy overall. It effectively utilizes a variety of complex structures such as subordinate clauses and comparisons. There is a consistent use of grammatical structures to convey information, and the majority of sentences are error-free. The essay effectively communicates the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons between the different categories and countries. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, which prevent it from achieving a higher band score.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, pay close attention to sentence structure and ensure that complex structures are used accurately. Review and revise sentences to eliminate any remaining errors and to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, be mindful of word choice and phrasing to convey ideas more effectively. Finally, consider seeking feedback from others to identify areas for improvement.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided bar chart delineates the distribution of teaching hours per year across primary, lower secondary, and upper secondary levels among educators in four distinct nations during the year 2001.

In general, it is evident that teachers in Japan, Spain, and the USA predominantly dedicated their time to teaching upper secondary students, whereas in Ireland, lower secondary education received the highest allocation of teaching hours.

Japan and Spain exhibited the lowest dedication of time to both primary and lower secondary education, with approximately 600 hours annually. Conversely, Ireland allocated the fewest teaching hours to primary education, while Japan and Spain allocated the least to lower secondary education in the surveyed year.

The USA registered the highest number of teaching hours for upper secondary education, totaling around 1100 hours annually, closely followed by lower secondary education at 1050 hours per year. On the contrary, the allocation of teaching hours to primary education was the lowest among the four nations, with less than 900 hours per year.

In Ireland, a significant discrepancy in teaching hours was observed between lower and upper secondary schools compared to primary schools, with approximately 800 hours and 790 hours allocated respectively, as opposed to 600 hours for primary education.

Both Japan and Spain allocated approximately 600 hours per year to deliver lessons for primary and lower secondary levels. Additionally, these two nations shared the highest allocation of teaching hours for upper secondary education, with Spain recording nearly 1000 hours per year and Japan approximately 700 hours annually.