The graph below shows the percentage of GDP government spending on health, education and road & railways from 2000 to 2025 in a particular country.

The line chart illustrates the proportion of GDP that a country's government allocated for health, education, and road & railways from 2000 to 2025.
Overall, despite some fluctuations, there is a decrease in the proportion of GDP spent on improving road & railways and education systems, while an opposite trend is seen in the figure for healthcare system. Despite starting from a lower rate, healthcare system has become the highest figure from 2015 onwards, after surpassing that of education.
Looking first at categories with decreases, the national authority used 5% of GDP to subsidize its education system, after which this figure increased to exactly 7% in 2010 and will likely to plunge to just over 4% at the end of the period. Considering road & railways system, the figure for this was initially at 4%, sharing the same rate as that of health system, with fluctuations between the 4% mark, before being projected to fall to just 4% in 2025.
Moving onto the remaining category, about 4,2% of GDP was used by the government to support national healthcare system, followed by a significant growth to to reach its peak of approximately 7,2% in the final year, after overtaking the figure for education system in 2015. Healthcare has been the most invested area of the three of the country since 2015 onwards.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"road & railways" -> "transportation infrastructure"
Explanation: Using the term "transportation infrastructure" instead of "road & railways" provides a more encompassing and formal description, which includes not only roads and railways but also other modes of transportation.
"an opposite trend is seen" -> "a contrasting trend is observed"
Explanation: "Contrasting" is a more precise and formal term than "opposite," conveying the idea of a difference in direction or tendency more effectively.
"will likely to plunge" -> "is projected to decline"
Explanation: "Projected to decline" is a more precise and formal phrase than "will likely to plunge," indicating a forecasted decrease in a clear and concise manner.
"Moving onto the remaining category" -> "Turning to the remaining category"
Explanation: "Turning to" is a more sophisticated transition phrase compared to "Moving onto," providing a smoother flow between paragraphs and maintaining the formal tone of the essay.
"significant growth to to reach its peak" -> "significant growth to reach its zenith"
Explanation: "Zenith" is a more sophisticated term than "peak," denoting the highest point or culmination of growth in a more elegant and formal manner.
"of approximately 7,2%" -> "of approximately 7.2%"
Explanation: In English, decimals are represented with a period (.) rather than a comma (,). Using the correct punctuation maintains grammatical accuracy and clarity.
"most invested area of the three of the country" -> "the most heavily invested sector among the three"
Explanation: "Sector" is a more precise and formal term than "area," particularly when referring to distinct segments such as healthcare, education, and transportation infrastructure. Additionally, "among the three" is more grammatically correct than "of the three of the country."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the trends in government spending on health, education, and road & railways from 2000 to 2025. It presents a clear overview of the main trends in government spending for each category, noting fluctuations and changes over the specified time period. Key features, such as the increase in healthcare spending and decrease in spending on education and road & railways, are highlighted and illustrated with specific data points from the graph. However, the essay could be more fully developed in terms of providing additional analysis or context for the trends observed.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could provide more detailed analysis of the reasons behind the observed trends, such as changes in government policies or economic factors influencing spending decisions. Additionally, providing comparisons between the categories or discussing the implications of the trends for the country’s healthcare, education, and transportation infrastructure would enhance the depth of the response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, particularly in the introductory and concluding paragraphs. The progression of ideas is generally clear, with a logical flow from discussing each category to summarizing trends. Cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences, although there are occasional instances of faulty cohesion, such as unclear pronoun references ("this" and "these") and awkward transitions. Paragraphing is used, but there are some instances where it could be improved for better logical structure.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring consistent and clear referencing throughout the essay. Avoid ambiguous pronoun references by specifying what each pronoun refers to explicitly. Additionally, strive for more seamless transitions between ideas to improve the overall flow of the essay. Consider refining paragraph structure to ensure each paragraph addresses a single main idea cohesively.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary evident. The writer employs terms such as "allocated," "subsidize," and "fluctuations," which show an effort to vary their lexical choices. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "will likely to plunge" (should be "will likely plunge") and "growth to to reach" (should be "growth to reach"). Additionally, there are some errors in word formation and spelling, like "to to" (should be "to") and "to to" (should be "to"). These errors, while not impeding communication significantly, slightly affect the clarity and sophistication of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource, focus on refining word choice and sentence structure to enhance clarity and precision. Reviewing and editing for grammatical accuracy, particularly in word formation and spelling, will also help elevate the quality of the essay. Additionally, incorporating a wider variety of vocabulary, including more sophisticated terms and expressions, can further enhance the lexical richness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is indicative of a Band 6 level. There are attempts at using a variety of structures, such as compound sentences and participial phrases, alongside simpler sentence constructions. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, although they do not significantly impede communication. The essay provides a clear overview of the data presented in the graph and presents an analysis of the trends observed.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim for greater consistency in sentence structure and pay closer attention to grammar and punctuation errors. Additionally, expanding the range of complex structures used and ensuring their accuracy would further enhance the overall quality of the essay. Proofreading for grammatical errors and refining sentence structures could help achieve a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line chart delineates the allocation of a nation’s GDP by its government towards health, education, and road & railways from the years 2000 to 2025.

In general, there is a downward trend in the percentage of GDP dedicated to enhancing road & railways and education systems, while an upward trajectory is observed in healthcare expenditure. Despite commencing at a lower level, healthcare funding has surpassed that of education since 2015, emerging as the highest allocation.

Examining the categories witnessing a decline, the government allocated 5% of GDP towards education in the initial year, escalating to precisely 7% in 2010 before projected to decline to slightly over 4% by the conclusion of the period. Similarly, the allotment for road & railways commenced at 4%, parallel to healthcare spending, fluctuating around this mark before anticipated to stabilize at 4% by 2025.

Conversely, approximately 4.2% of GDP was initially channeled into the national healthcare system, experiencing substantial growth to peak at around 7.2% in the final year. Surpassing the education sector in 2015, healthcare has consistently been the most heavily invested area throughout the observed period.