The graph below shows the percentage of people in one country who accessed the news from four sources between 1995 and the present, with projections to 2025. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of people in one country who accessed the news from four sources between 1995 and the present, with projections to 2025.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart depicts the proportion of individuals using four distinct news sources since 1995, along with projections up to 2025.

Overall, if all predictions hold true, the number of people accessing the internet in order to read the news will gain momentum, while other resources will experience increases to varying extents in their figures. Notably, the internet is anticipated to surpass all other mediums and establish itself as the primary option for accessing news.

The rates of approaching the news through the Internet and TV witnessed a contrasting trend. Initially, in 1995, there was a negligible number of people using the former, with nearly 0%, while the latter led the pack in the chart, accounting for slightly ahead of 75%. Subsequently, with the exception of the year 2003 to 2010, witnessing a slight increase, the figure for TV decreased constantly over the year, which is expected to plunge to 50% in the final year of the given period. In contrast, the percentage of people using the Internet rose gradually to nearly 3%, in 2003, before being anticipated to surge to almost 55% in 2025. Due to this upward tendency, the proportion of users using the Internet is likely to overtake its counterparts, taking the lead from 2023 onward.

Shifting our focus to the remaining categories namely Newspaper and Radio, witnessing increases by varying degrees in their figures. At the outset, there was a marginal discrepancy between the percentage of the former and the latter, with 55% and 52%, respectively. Thereafter, the percentage of people using the newspaper to approach the news experienced a constant decrease, being predicted to reach its bottom at lower than 30%, in the final year. Similarly, people’s percentage using the radio see a downward trend, but to a greater extent. This figure decreased significantly over the given period, interestingly, in 2003, there was an identical rate amid Newspaper and Radio, with almost 50%, before being predicted to plummet to 22%. Noteworthily, although the figures for Newspapers and Radio saw a decrease over the years, the rank among them will be still unchanged, with third position and fourth position, in that order.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"gain momentum" -> "gain traction"
Explanation: "Gain traction" is a more advanced and precise term in this context, indicating an increase in popularity or acceptance over time.
"mediums" -> "media"
Explanation: "Media" is the correct plural form of "medium" when referring to various communication channels or outlets.
"rates of approaching" -> "trends in accessing"
Explanation: "Trends in accessing" is a more formal and descriptive phrase to discuss how people access news sources.
"a slight increase" -> "a marginal increase"
Explanation: "Marginal" is a more precise term to indicate a small or slight increase, adding nuance to the description.
"figure for TV decreased constantly over the year" -> "the TV figure steadily declined over the years"
Explanation: "Steadily declined" is a more formal and precise way to describe a continuous decrease over time.
"proportion of users using" -> "percentage of users utilizing"
Explanation: "Utilizing" is a more formal and descriptive term for using or employing something in a particular way.
"proportion of users using the Internet is likely to overtake its counterparts" -> "percentage of Internet users is poised to surpass that of other media"
Explanation: The suggested change provides a more concise and clear statement about the projected trend of internet usage surpassing other media.
"marginal discrepancy" -> "slight disparity"
Explanation: "Slight disparity" is a more formal and precise term to describe a small difference or gap between two values.
"see a downward trend" -> "experience a downward trend"
Explanation: "Experience" adds a more formal and appropriate tone to describe the trend in using radio for news.
"Noteworthily" -> "Notably"
Explanation: "Notably" is the correct adverb to use in this context to draw attention to a significant point or observation.

These changes help enhance the clarity, precision, and formality of the essay’s language, making it more suitable for an academic or formal context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in news consumption from 1995 to the present, with projections to 2025. It presents the key features of the data, such as the contrasting trends between internet and TV usage, as well as the gradual decreases in newspaper and radio usage. The essay effectively highlights these key points and makes relevant comparisons between the different news sources.

How to improve:
To improve, the essay could further extend its analysis of the data. While it provides a clear overview and highlights key features, some points could be more fully developed. Adding more details or analysis, especially regarding the reasons behind the trends observed in the data, would enhance the depth of the response and potentially elevate the score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression of ideas throughout. It effectively summarizes the main features of the graph, presenting comparisons where relevant. Each paragraph is dedicated to discussing a specific aspect of the data, contributing to the coherence of the essay. The use of cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, aids in maintaining the flow of the essay. Additionally, the essay appropriately manages paragraphing, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea or aspect of the data. Overall, the essay logically organizes information and ideas, ensuring a coherent presentation of the data.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider refining the use of cohesive devices to ensure a seamless transition between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, ensure consistency in referencing and substitution to avoid any potential confusion. Furthermore, while the essay effectively manages paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader and maintain coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, including both common and less common lexical items. There is a good attempt to convey precise meanings, with some use of uncommon vocabulary and awareness of style and collocation. The essay effectively summarizes the information provided in the graph, utilizing a variety of vocabulary to describe trends and make comparisons. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, which slightly affect the overall fluency and precision.

How to improve:
To improve lexical resource, focus on refining the accuracy of word choice and collocation. Pay close attention to sentence structures and ensure consistency in the use of vocabulary throughout the essay. Additionally, aim for more sophistication in lexical features and strive for greater precision in conveying meanings to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a commendable use of varied sentence structures and complex language. It effectively communicates the information presented in the prompt with clarity and coherence. The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentences to convey ideas, enhancing the overall readability of the essay. Grammatical errors are infrequent and do not impede understanding. Punctuation is generally used accurately, contributing to the overall clarity of the essay.

How to improve:
To improve further and potentially achieve a higher band score, the writer could focus on enhancing the precision of language and refining the transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring consistency in verb tense usage and refining the phrasing of some sentences could elevate the overall coherence and fluency of the essay. Overall, continued practice in crafting well-structured and error-free sentences will contribute to further improvement in grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The line chart illustrates the proportion of people utilizing four different news sources from 1995, along with projections up to 2025.

Overall, predictions indicate that the number of individuals accessing news via the internet is set to increase significantly, whereas other sources will see varied levels of growth. Notably, the internet is expected to become the dominant medium for news access, overtaking all other forms.

In 1995, a negligible percentage of people used the internet for news, almost 0%, while television was the most popular source, accounting for just over 75%. Over the years, television’s popularity has generally declined, with a slight increase observed between 2003 and 2010. It is predicted to drop to 50% by 2025. In contrast, internet usage has seen a gradual increase, rising to nearly 3% in 2003 and projected to surge to about 55% by 2025. This trend suggests that internet use will surpass television and other sources from 2023 onwards.

Turning to newspapers and radio, both mediums have experienced different rates of decline. Initially, newspapers were used by 55% of the population and radio by 52%. Over time, newspaper use has steadily declined, anticipated to fall below 30% by 2025. Radio, experiencing a sharper decline, is expected to drop to 22% in the same year. Despite these decreases, the relative ranking between newspapers and radio will remain unchanged, holding third and fourth positions, respectively.

This overview highlights the dynamic shifts in how news is accessed, with the internet emerging as the most favored source by the projected year of 2025.