The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the production levels of the main kinds of fuel in the UK between 1981 and 2000.
Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph gives statistics about how much the major types of fuel were produced in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

Overall, it is evident that the production of petroleum led the way, followed by that of coal and natural gas. Besides, while the manufacture level of petroleum and coal showed a fluctuation, that of natural gas saw a more gradual growth.

In 1981, about 90 units of petroleum was manufactured in the UK, which was 10 units more than the figure for coal, at around 80 units. As for natural gas, its production added up to 40 units in the same year.

Afterwards, the production of petroleum reached a record high of 140 units between 1984 and 1986, whereas that of coal hit a trough of below 40 units in 1984. From 1986 onwards, the units of produced petroleum decreased gradually to 100 units in 1991, but later recovered to 140 in the two final years. Meanwhile, the production of coal went into a tailpin before hitting around 39 units in 2000. Finally, the rate of natural gas manufactured rose steadily until it reached 100 units.

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Errors and Improvements:

1. "how much the major types of fuel were produced" -> "the quantity of the major types of fuel produced"
   Explanation: Replacing "how much" with "the quantity of" and "were produced" with "produced" makes the sentence more precise and formal.

2. "manufacture level of petroleum" -> "production level of petroleum"
   Explanation: "Manufacture level" is not commonly used to describe the production of petroleum. "Production level" is a more appropriate and commonly used term in this context.

3. "saw a more gradual growth" -> "experienced a more gradual increase"
   Explanation: "Saw a more gradual growth" is a bit informal. "Experienced a more gradual increase" maintains formality and clarity.

4. "about 90 units of petroleum was manufactured" -> "approximately 90 units of petroleum were produced"
   Explanation: "Manufactured" is more commonly used for products that are created through industrial processes. "Produced" is more fitting for the generation of fuel.

5. "hit a trough of below 40 units" -> "reached a trough of less than 40 units"
   Explanation: "Hit a trough of below 40 units" is awkward. "Reached a trough of less than 40 units" is clearer and more grammatically correct.

6. "units of produced petroleum" -> "units of petroleum produced"
   Explanation: "Units of produced petroleum" is a bit awkward in structure. "Units of petroleum produced" is more grammatically correct.

7. "went into a tailpin" -> "plummeted"
   Explanation: "Went into a tailpin" is unclear and not commonly used. "Plummeted" is a more precise and concise term for a sharp decrease.

8. "rate of natural gas manufactured rose steadily" -> "production rate of natural gas steadily increased"
   Explanation: "Rate of natural gas manufactured" is slightly awkward. "Production rate of natural gas steadily increased" is clearer and more formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay generally covers the requirements of the Task 1 prompt, presenting a clear overview of the main trends observed in the production levels of fuel types in the UK from 1981 to 2000. The writer provides a concise summary of the overall trends for each fuel type and offers specific data points to illustrate these trends, such as production figures for specific years. However, while the key features are highlighted and there is an attempt to compare the production levels of the fuels, the presentation could be more fully extended with deeper analysis or more detailed comparisons across the entire time period. The data is presented accurately, but the transitions and comparisons between data points could be smoother and more detailed to provide a richer, more comprehensive analysis.

How to improve:
To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from more nuanced comparisons and a clearer linkage between the data points presented. The writer should consider integrating more comparative language to highlight the relative changes in production levels more dynamically. For example, discussing the proportional changes or the rate of increase/decrease in production more explicitly would enrich the analysis. Additionally, structuring the essay with clearer transitions and possibly subdividing the analysis by significant periods or events that influenced production levels could provide a more detailed and compelling response.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas, providing a clear progression throughout. It begins with an overview statement summarizing the main trends depicted in the graph. Each paragraph focuses on a specific fuel type, providing detailed information about its production levels over time. The use of transition words like "Overall", "Besides", and "Afterwards" helps to maintain coherence and guide the reader through the essay. Additionally, there is a clear central topic within each paragraph, with each one discussing the production trends of a specific fuel type.

The essay also utilizes a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Transition words and phrases are used effectively to indicate shifts in time and relationships between ideas. For example, "afterwards" is used to introduce a new phase of production, and "meanwhile" is used to contrast the trends between different fuel types. Furthermore, pronouns like "it" and "that" help maintain cohesion by referencing previously mentioned concepts.

However, there are minor instances of underuse of cohesive devices, such as the transition between paragraphs. While the essay manages paragraphing sufficiently, the transitions between paragraphs could be slightly smoother to enhance coherence further.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring a seamless transition between paragraphs. Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay, paying attention to the logical flow of ideas. Additionally, consider refining the use of pronouns and transition words to further enhance clarity and coherence.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for some flexibility and precision in conveying information about the production levels of different types of fuel. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "manufacture level" and "tailspin," which shows awareness of style and collocation. Additionally, the essay effectively summarizes the main features of the graph and makes relevant comparisons between the production levels of petroleum, coal, and natural gas over the given period.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary throughout the essay. This could involve using synonyms or more precise terms to convey meaning, thereby demonstrating an even wider range of vocabulary. Additionally, ensuring accuracy in word choice and collocation would further elevate the lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex structures, such as introductory clauses ("Overall, it is evident that…"), comparisons ("…while the manufacture level of petroleum and coal showed a fluctuation, that of natural gas saw a more gradual growth."), and temporal clauses ("Afterwards, the production of petroleum reached a record high…"). The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to effective communication of ideas. There is good control of grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, with only a few errors, such as minor punctuation errors and occasional awkward phrasing.

How to improve: To further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, strive for more diverse sentence structures, incorporating a mix of compound and complex sentences. Additionally, pay attention to punctuation consistency and ensure clarity in expression to minimize any potential errors.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided line graph illustrates the production levels of various fuel types in the UK from 1981 to 2000.

Overall, it is evident that petroleum production held the highest position throughout the given period, followed by coal and natural gas. While petroleum and coal production exhibited fluctuations, natural gas production demonstrated a more consistent, gradual growth.

In 1981, petroleum production in the UK stood at approximately 90 units, surpassing coal production by around 10 units, which was recorded at about 80 units. Natural gas production amounted to 40 units during the same year.

Subsequently, petroleum production peaked at 140 units between 1984 and 1986, whereas coal production hit a low point of below 40 units in 1984. Following this, petroleum production gradually declined to 100 units by 1991, before rebounding to 140 units in the final two years. Conversely, coal production experienced a continuous decline, reaching around 39 units by 2000. Notably, natural gas production steadily increased, reaching 100 units by the end of the period.

Overall, the data illustrates the dominance of petroleum production throughout the period, with coal production experiencing a decline, and natural gas production showing a consistent upward trend.