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the graph show the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1950, 1970 and 1990 Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. You should write at least 150 words

the graph show the different modes of transport used to travel to and from work in one European city in 1950, 1970 and 1990
Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.
You should write at least 150 words

From 1950 to 1990, people in this city use four main modes of transportation: bus, car, bike, and on foot in order to go to different places. The graph shows and indicates the percentage of travellers who use these four modes from 1950 to 1990.

The most significant change occurred in cars. In 1950, only about 5% of travellers who go through this city chose car as their transportation due to the expensive price of cars at that time, which made many people can’t afford a car to travel. However, in 1970, it rose to more than 30%, which ranked 2nd after bus and became the most popular transportation in 1990 with more than 40% of residents and travellers who chose car to work and travel.

Another striking change in roles is travelling on foot. In 1950, one in three people walked from home to work. Although going on foot is the most popular mode of transport at that time, it fell to around 20% in 1970 and became about 5% in 1990.

Travelling by bike also fell dramatically. From around 30% in 1960, only 2% of people chose it as the main transportation in 1990 and 5% in 1990. However, bus first increased from 20% in 1960 to 27% in 1970 and then decreased to 15% in 1990.

In conclusion, car has been increasing in the period 1950 to 1990, while other forms of transport remain constant or declined.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "use four main modes of transportation" -> "utilize four primary modes of transportation"
    Explanation: "Utilize" is a more formal synonym for "use," and "primary" is a more precise term than "main," enhancing the academic tone of the essay.

  2. "the percentage of travellers who use these four modes" -> "the percentage of travelers utilizing these four modes"
    Explanation: "Utilizing" maintains the formal tone and avoids repetition of "use." Additionally, "travelers" is the American English spelling, which is more commonly used in academic contexts.

  3. "due to the expensive price of cars at that time" -> "due to the high cost of automobiles during that period"
    Explanation: "High cost" is a more precise and formal expression than "expensive price," while "automobiles" is a more formal term than "cars." "During that period" is also more academic than "at that time."

  4. "which made many people can’t afford a car to travel" -> "which rendered many individuals unable to afford a car for travel"
    Explanation: "Rendered" is a more formal verb choice, and "unable to afford" is a more precise expression than "can’t afford." "For travel" is a more formal phrasing than "to travel."

  5. "which ranked 2nd after bus" -> "which ranked second after buses"
    Explanation: "Second" is the written form of the numeral, which is preferred in formal writing, and "buses" should be plural for grammatical consistency.

  6. "the most popular transportation in 1990" -> "the most popular mode of transportation in 1990"
    Explanation: "Mode of transportation" is more precise than simply "transportation," clarifying the context.

  7. "Another striking change in roles is travelling on foot" -> "Another notable change involves traveling on foot"
    Explanation: "Notable" is a more formal synonym for "striking," and "involves" is a more precise verb than "is."

  8. "Although going on foot is the most popular mode of transport at that time" -> "Although traveling on foot was the most popular mode of transport during that period"
    Explanation: "Traveling" is a more formal term than "going," and "was" maintains the past tense consistency. "During that period" is more formal than "at that time."

  9. "and became about 5% in 1990" -> "and decreased to approximately 5% in 1990"
    Explanation: "Decreased" clarifies the change in percentage, and "approximately" is a more formal alternative to "about."

  10. "Travelling by bike also fell dramatically" -> "Bicycle travel also declined significantly"
    Explanation: "Bicycle travel" is a more formal and precise term than "travelling by bike," and "declined significantly" is a more academic phrasing than "fell dramatically."

  11. "only 2% of people chose it as the main transportation in 1990 and 5% in 1990" -> "only 2% of individuals selected it as their primary mode of transportation in 1990, compared to 5% in 1980"
    Explanation: "Individuals" is more formal than "people," and "selected" is a more precise verb than "chose." "Primary mode of transportation" is more formal than "main transportation," and adding "compared to 5% in 1980" clarifies the context.

  12. "bus first increased from 20% in 1960 to 27% in 1970" -> "Bus usage initially increased from 20% in 1960 to 27% in 1970"
    Explanation: "Bus usage" clarifies the subject, and "initially" is a more precise term than "first."

  13. "and then decreased to 15% in 1990" -> "before subsequently declining to 15% in 1990"
    Explanation: "Subsequently declining" is a more formal and precise way to describe the change in percentage.

  14. "car has been increasing in the period 1950 to 1990" -> "the use of cars increased during the period from 1950 to 1990"
    Explanation: "The use of cars increased" is a clearer and more formal expression than "car has been increasing," and "during the period from" is more precise than "in the period."

  15. "while other forms of transport remain constant or declined" -> "while other forms of transportation remained constant or declined"
    Explanation: "Transportation" is the more formal term than "transport," and maintaining the past tense "remained" is necessary for consistency.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay provides a general overview of the information presented in the graph. However, the essay does not present a clear overview of the main trends. The essay also presents some inaccurate information, such as the statement that "travelling by bike also fell dramatically. From around 30% in 1960, only 2% of people chose it as the main transportation in 1990 and 5% in 1990." The graph shows that the percentage of people who travelled by bike in 1990 was 6%, not 2%.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clearer overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by providing more accurate information about the data. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of people who travelled by car increased significantly from 1950 to 1990, while the percentage of people who travelled by bus, bike, and on foot decreased. The essay could also provide more specific details about the changes in each mode of transport. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of people who travelled by car increased by 35% from 1950 to 1990, while the percentage of people who travelled by bus decreased by 12% from 1970 to 1990.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, but there is a noticeable lack of overall progression. While it attempts to describe changes in transportation modes over the years, the sequence of ideas is not always clear, leading to confusion. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, such as the phrase "roles is travelling on foot," which is unclear. Additionally, there are instances of repetition, particularly in the discussion of the decline of walking and cycling. Paragraphing is attempted but not always logical, as some ideas could be better grouped together for clarity.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on logically organizing information and ensuring a clear progression of ideas. Using a wider range of cohesive devices correctly and avoiding repetition will help improve clarity. Additionally, refining paragraph structure to group related ideas together will strengthen the overall flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "significant change," "afford," and "dramatically," but there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the most significant change occurred in cars" and "travelling on foot." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "who go through this city" instead of "who travel through this city," and "the most popular transportation" which could be better expressed as "the most popular mode of transport." These errors do not impede communication but do detract from the overall effectiveness of the lexical resource.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and accuracy. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and ensuring that word choices are appropriate for the context. Additionally, practicing the correct formation of words and paying attention to spelling will help improve clarity. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions could also elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 score. There are several grammatical errors present, such as "people in this city use" instead of "people in this city used," and "which made many people can’t afford" should be "which made many people unable to afford." These errors do not significantly hinder communication, but they do indicate a lack of control over grammatical accuracy. The use of tenses is inconsistent, and some sentences lack clarity, particularly in the transitions between ideas.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and consistency in verb tenses. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures and ensuring that punctuation is used correctly would also help. Additionally, providing clearer transitions between ideas and ensuring that all statements are logically connected would improve the overall coherence of the essay. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can further aid in improving grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

From 1950 to 1990, people in this city used four main modes of transportation: bus, car, bike, and walking to travel to different places. The graph illustrates the percentage of travellers who utilized these four modes over the specified years.

The most significant change occurred in car usage. In 1950, only about 5% of travellers in this city chose cars as their mode of transportation, largely due to the high cost of cars at that time, which made them unaffordable for many. However, by 1970, this figure rose to more than 30%, ranking second after buses, and it became the most popular mode of transport by 1990, with over 40% of residents and travellers opting for cars to commute.

Another notable change was in walking. In 1950, one in three people walked to work. Although walking was the most popular mode of transport at that time, its usage declined to around 20% in 1970 and further dropped to about 5% in 1990.

Cycling also experienced a dramatic decline. From around 30% in 1950, only 2% of people chose it as their primary mode of transportation in 1990, down from 5% in 1970. Conversely, bus usage initially increased from 20% in 1950 to 27% in 1970, before decreasing to 15% in 1990.

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