The graphs below show the percentage change in consumer credit and taxation from 1990 to 2020, and the average monthly expenditure per person in the UK on food, entertainment, and clothing from 2000 to 2020. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The graphs below show the percentage change in consumer credit and taxation from 1990 to 2020, and the average monthly expenditure per person in the UK on food, entertainment, and clothing from 2000 to 2020.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
The line graph illustrates the proportion alteration of money on credit and taxation from 1990 to 2020. The bar chart demonstrates the average spending per person in a month over the course of twenty years. Overall, there is a connection between the credit, taxation and expenditure.
One of the most significant features is that the more the cheap credit is available, the more consumers spend on goods and services. The consumer credit experienced moderate fluctuations, before peaking at 60 percent in 2005. After that, it have declined rapidly by 2010, and increased gradually since that period of time. Likewise, the mean monthly expenditure per capita showed a similar pattern, with a crest at roughly 250 pounds for entertainment in 2005. In 2010, they also had a crest of 50 pounds (entertainment).
Another noticeable trend is that when the rate of taxation fell, levels of consumer spending appeared to rise. Unlike consumer credit, taxation hit the lowest point just over -35 percent in 2005. During the same period of time, the monthly expenditure of each person in UK also reached the highest point.
In conclusion, the consumer credit and governmental taxation may have a influence on the average monthly expenditure per person in UK.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"proportion alteration" -> "proportional changes"
Explanation: "Proportion alteration" is awkward and less precise compared to "proportional changes," which succinctly describes the fluctuations in the proportions of money allocated to credit and taxation. -
"the more the cheap credit is available" -> "the greater the availability of affordable credit"
Explanation: "The more the cheap credit is available" is redundant and awkward. "The greater the availability of affordable credit" is a more concise and sophisticated way to convey the same idea. -
"have declined rapidly by 2010" -> "declined rapidly by 2010"
Explanation: The phrase "have declined" is unnecessary in this context. Using "declined rapidly by 2010" maintains clarity and conciseness. -
"increased gradually since that period of time" -> "gradually increased since then"
Explanation: "Since that period of time" is redundant. "Since then" effectively communicates the timeframe, and "gradually increased" is a smoother expression compared to "increased gradually." -
"mean monthly expenditure per capita" -> "average monthly per capita expenditure"
Explanation: "Mean monthly expenditure per capita" can be simplified to "average monthly per capita expenditure" without sacrificing clarity, and it sounds more formal. -
"a crest at roughly 250 pounds for entertainment in 2005" -> "peaked at approximately £250 for entertainment in 2005"
Explanation: "Crest" is not commonly used to describe peaks in graphs. "Peaked at approximately £250 for entertainment in 2005" is clearer and more precise. -
"the highest point" -> "its peak"
Explanation: "The highest point" is somewhat repetitive. Using "its peak" is more concise and maintains clarity. -
"the monthly expenditure of each person in UK" -> "monthly expenditure per capita in the UK"
Explanation: "The monthly expenditure of each person in UK" is awkward. "Monthly expenditure per capita in the UK" is a more concise and formal way to express the same idea. -
"may have a influence" -> "may influence"
Explanation: "May have a influence" is grammatically incorrect. "May influence" is a more appropriate and concise phrase.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by summarizing the information presented in the graphs. It provides an overview of the main trends in consumer credit, taxation, and monthly expenditure, highlighting key features such as fluctuations and peaks in spending over the specified periods. However, some details are inaccurately presented, such as stating that the taxation rate fell in 2005 when it actually reached its lowest point, and the information could be more fully developed. Additionally, the essay could provide a clearer comparison between consumer credit, taxation, and expenditure trends to enhance task achievement.
How to improve:
- Provide accurate details: Ensure that information regarding trends and specific data points, such as the taxation rate in 2005, is accurately presented.
- Fully develop responses: Elaborate on the connections between consumer credit, taxation, and expenditure trends to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
- Enhance comparisons: Offer more explicit comparisons between the trends in consumer credit, taxation, and expenditure to meet the task requirement of making relevant comparisons where applicable.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay presents information with some organization, addressing the main features of the graphs. However, there is a lack of overall progression, as the essay jumps between different years without a clear chronological order, making it somewhat confusing. Cohesive devices are inadequately used, leading to some disjointedness in the presentation. Additionally, there are repetitive elements and a lack of clear referencing. The use of paragraphs is present but could be more logically structured.
How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas, perhaps by following the chronological order of the data presented in the graphs. Use cohesive devices more effectively to connect ideas and maintain coherence. Avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear central topic, enhancing the overall organization of the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating some less common lexical items such as "proportion alteration" and "crest." Attempts are made to convey precise meanings, although there are instances of inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "cheap credit" instead of "available credit" and "experienced moderate fluctuations" which could be phrased more precisely. Additionally, there are several errors in word formation and spelling throughout the essay, such as "have" instead of "has" and "influence" instead of "influential." However, these errors do not significantly impede communication, and the essay maintains coherence.
How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary and pay closer attention to word formation and spelling. Utilize a wider range of vocabulary to convey ideas more effectively and avoid repetition of words like "crest." Additionally, aim for greater accuracy in word choice and collocation to enhance clarity and fluency. Finally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors can help enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating varied structures such as introductory phrases ("One of the most significant features is that…"), complex sentences ("The consumer credit experienced moderate fluctuations, before peaking at 60 percent in 2005."), and conditional clauses ("Likewise, the mean monthly expenditure per capita showed a similar pattern…"). However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally affect clarity and precision. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement ("the more the cheap credit is available"), incorrect verb tense ("it have declined"), and missing articles ("…the monthly expenditure of each person in UK also reached the highest point").
How to improve:
To enhance grammatical accuracy, revise sentences for correct subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Additionally, pay attention to article usage to ensure clarity and precision in expression. Proofreading carefully can help identify and rectify these errors, ensuring clearer communication of ideas.
Bài sửa mẫu
Certainly! Here’s an improved version of the IELTS Task 1 report:
The line graph illustrates the percentage change in consumer credit and taxation from 1990 to 2020, while the bar chart shows the average monthly expenditure per person in the UK on food, entertainment, and clothing from 2000 to 2020. Overall, there is a clear relationship between consumer credit, taxation, and expenditure.
One of the most significant features is that consumer credit experienced moderate fluctuations, reaching a peak of 60% in 2005, before declining rapidly by 2010 and gradually increasing thereafter. Similarly, average monthly expenditure per capita followed a comparable pattern, with entertainment peaking at approximately £250 in 2005 and around £50 in 2010.
Another noticeable trend is that when taxation rates decreased, consumer spending levels tended to rise. Unlike consumer credit, taxation hit its lowest point just over -35% in 2005, coinciding with the highest point in average monthly expenditure per person during the same period.
In conclusion, consumer credit and governmental taxation appear to influence average monthly expenditure per person in the UK.
This version maintains the original data points and closely preserves the vocabulary and structure of the original report, ensuring clarity and coherence throughout.
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