The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
The internet has made knowledge immediately available to people through computers and smartphones all around the world. Much of this knowledge is also free. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
It is widely believed that internet can help users easily get a big knowledge through computers and cellphones without money. This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of this trend.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why this trend is beneficial. Firstly, it may help individuals to pick up information for free, so a wealth of people can save money. Social media platforms such as FB, youtube,… are a source of free knowledge which they need to prepare for the project in the most effective way. Secondly, the internet is very convenient for users to find information quickly. Smart devices including smartphones and PCs connected to the internet can help them look up necessary information anywhere.
On the other hand, there are a number of disadvantages of having access to free knowledge from the internet that people should take into consideration. The principal one is the potenti unacurracy. The internet is a vast information platform, so it is very difficult for users to opt for accurate information proven by experts that will cause miss information of some users project data, leading to bad results. Another negative effect is that many creators such as authors and researchers may not take any profits since a lot of their products may get stolen and reuploaded without permission.
In short, the countless knowledge on the internet could bring about certain benefits, but its negative consequence should not be overlooked.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
Errors and Improvements:
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"get a big knowledge" -> "acquire extensive knowledge"
Explanation: "get a big knowledge" is too informal and lacks precision. "Acquire extensive knowledge" maintains formality and clarity while expressing the idea more precisely. -
"Social media platforms such as FB, youtube,…" -> "Social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube,…"
Explanation: Abbreviations like "FB" and "youtube" are too informal for academic writing. Using the full names "Facebook" and "YouTube" enhances the formality of the text. -
"potenti unacurracy" -> "potential inaccuracy"
Explanation: "potenti unacurracy" contains spelling errors and lacks formality. "Potential inaccuracy" is the correct phrase and maintains the academic tone of the essay. -
"miss information" -> "misinformation"
Explanation: "miss information" is incorrect and informal. "Misinformation" is the appropriate term for conveying the concept of false or misleading information in a formal context. -
"may not take any profits" -> "may not generate any revenue"
Explanation: "take any profits" is slightly informal. "Generate any revenue" is a more formal and precise way to express the idea of earning money. -
"a lot of their products may get stolen" -> "many of their products may be subject to unauthorized use"
Explanation: "may get stolen" is colloquial. "May be subject to unauthorized use" is a more formal and precise way to convey the idea of intellectual property theft. -
"bad results" -> "negative outcomes"
Explanation: "bad results" is overly simplistic. "Negative outcomes" is a more formal and precise term that aligns with academic writing standards. -
"In short," -> "In conclusion,"
Explanation: "In short," is more suitable for informal speech. "In conclusion," is a formal transition phrase commonly used in academic writing to signal the end of an essay or discussion.
Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Task Response: 6 – UNDER WORD
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Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay acknowledges both the advantages and disadvantages of the accessibility of free knowledge on the internet, as prompted. It mentions the benefits of easy access to information and the potential cost-saving aspect. However, the essay lacks depth in discussing the drawbacks, particularly in addressing the accuracy of information and the potential loss of profits for creators.
- How to improve: To improve, the essay should delve deeper into the disadvantages outlined in the prompt. Specifically, it should elaborate more on the issue of accuracy and provide examples or evidence to support this claim. Additionally, discussing the impact on creators’ livelihoods in more detail would strengthen the response.
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Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position on the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of free knowledge on the internet. However, the clarity is somewhat undermined by minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.
- How to improve: To enhance clarity, the essay should focus on improving sentence structure and grammar. Simplifying complex sentences and ensuring coherence between ideas would make the stance more evident to the reader.
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Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents ideas regarding the benefits and drawbacks of free knowledge on the internet, but they are not sufficiently developed. The examples provided lack depth and specificity.
- How to improve: To enhance the presentation and support of ideas, the essay should provide more detailed examples and evidence to bolster its arguments. Additionally, expanding on each point with further explanation and analysis would strengthen the overall essay.
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Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay mostly stays on topic by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of accessing free knowledge on the internet. However, there are minor instances where the connection to the topic could be clearer.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the essay should ensure that each point directly relates to the advantages and disadvantages of accessing knowledge online. Avoiding tangential discussions and staying tightly aligned with the prompt would improve coherence and relevance.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 6
- Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic level of logical organization. It starts with an introduction that outlines the topic and presents a thesis statement. The body paragraphs discuss the advantages and disadvantages of free knowledge on the internet, each with its own supporting points. However, there are some instances of repetition, such as mentioning the benefits of free knowledge in both the introduction and the body paragraphs, which could be streamlined for better coherence.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, ensure that each paragraph presents a unique idea without unnecessary repetition. Additionally, consider using transition phrases to smoothly guide the reader from one point to the next.
- Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs paragraphs to organize its ideas, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the paragraphs lack varied lengths and could benefit from clearer topic sentences to signal the beginning of each new idea.
- How to improve: Aim for more varied paragraph lengths to create visual interest and emphasize important points. Additionally, begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea to guide the reader through the essay’s structure.
- Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay utilizes some cohesive devices, such as transitional phrases like "on the one hand" and "on the other hand" to indicate contrasting points. However, there is limited use of other cohesive devices, such as pronouns, conjunctions, and lexical cohesion, which could strengthen the coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: Incorporate a wider variety of cohesive devices throughout the essay to create smoother connections between ideas. Experiment with using pronouns to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, conjunctions to link related thoughts, and cohesive lexical choices to maintain thematic coherence. Additionally, ensure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent throughout the essay to facilitate comprehension for the reader.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of vocabulary related to the topic. Phrases like "widely believed," "benefits and drawbacks," "free knowledge," "principal one," and "negative consequence" contribute to the variety of vocabulary. However, there is room for improvement as some phrases are repeated ("free knowledge" is used multiple times), and there is a lack of more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that could enhance lexical richness.
- How to improve: To improve the range of vocabulary, consider incorporating synonyms, idiomatic expressions, and more varied sentence structures. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "free knowledge," explore alternatives like "accessible information" or "unrestricted learning resources." Additionally, expanding the use of descriptive adjectives and precise nouns can enrich the vocabulary further.
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Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows some precision in vocabulary usage, but there are instances where imprecise language affects clarity. For example, the phrase "potenti unacurracy" seems to intend "potential inaccuracy," but the misspelling and lack of clarity make the expression imprecise. Additionally, the term "miss information" should be "misinformation," which is a more precise and commonly used term. Furthermore, phrases like "the internet is very convenient" and "a wealth of people" could benefit from more specific and precise language to convey the intended meaning more clearly.
- How to improve: To enhance precision in vocabulary usage, it’s essential to pay attention to spelling and choose words that accurately convey the intended meaning. Proofreading for spelling errors and ensuring the correct usage of terms like "inaccuracy" instead of "unacurracy" can significantly improve clarity. Additionally, strive for specificity in language by using concrete nouns and descriptive adjectives to paint a clearer picture for the reader.
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Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some spelling inaccuracies that affect readability. For instance, "potenti unacurracy" should be spelled as "potential inaccuracy," and "miss information" should be "misinformation." While these errors do not significantly detract from the overall comprehension of the essay, they indicate a need for improved attention to spelling accuracy.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, consider utilizing spelling and grammar checkers available in word processing software. Additionally, proofreading the essay thoroughly before submission can help identify and correct spelling errors. Developing a habit of reviewing written work for spelling accuracy can ultimately improve the quality of written communication.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6
Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6
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Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a fair variety of sentence structures, including simple sentences ("It is widely believed that internet can help users easily get a big knowledge"), compound sentences ("On the one hand, there are several reasons why this trend is beneficial"), and complex sentences ("Firstly, it may help individuals to pick up information for free, so a wealth of people can save money"). However, there is a tendency towards simplicity and repetition in structure, which limits the essay’s effectiveness in showcasing a wide range of sentence structures.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, strive for greater complexity by incorporating compound-complex sentences, varied clause structures, and rhetorical devices such as parallelism or inversion. For instance, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "Firstly" or "On the one hand," experiment with alternative transitional phrases or employ subordinate clauses for greater syntactic variety.
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Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some grammatical errors and inconsistencies throughout its content. For example, "potenti unacurracy" should be "potential inaccuracy," and "miss information" should be "misinformation." Additionally, there are punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences ("Secondly, the internet is very convenient for users to find information quickly") and comma splices ("Social media platforms such as FB, youtube,… are a source of free knowledge which they need to prepare for the project in the most effective way").
- How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, carefully review each sentence for subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and correct word usage. Consider utilizing proofreading tools or seeking feedback from peers to identify and rectify errors. Additionally, familiarize yourself with proper punctuation rules, particularly regarding comma usage in compound sentences and the correct placement of punctuation marks within quotations. Practice incorporating punctuation effectively to enhance clarity and coherence in your writing.
Bài sửa mẫu
It is widely acknowledged that the internet facilitates easy access to vast knowledge via computers and smartphones without any cost. This essay will examine the merits and demerits of this phenomenon.
On the positive side, there are several advantages to this trend. Firstly, it enables individuals to acquire extensive knowledge without spending any money, thus benefiting a wide range of people economically. Social media platforms such as Facebook, YouTube, and others serve as repositories of free information, aiding individuals in their projects and endeavors. Secondly, the internet offers unparalleled convenience, allowing users to swiftly access information from anywhere using smart devices like smartphones and computers.
However, there are notable disadvantages to the accessibility of free knowledge on the internet. The primary concern is the potential inaccuracy of the information available. Due to the vast expanse of the internet, it can be challenging for users to discern accurate information vetted by experts, leading to misinformation and potentially adverse outcomes for projects or research. Additionally, many creators, including authors and researchers, may not generate any revenue from their work, as much of it may be subject to unauthorized use, replication, and distribution.
In conclusion, while the abundance of knowledge on the internet offers certain benefits, it is crucial to recognize and address its negative implications. Users must exercise caution and critical thinking when navigating the vast sea of information available online to mitigate the risk of misinformation and ensure ethical practices regarding intellectual property rights.
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