The map below shows the plan of a proposed new town. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphic depicts the plan is expected for a typical new town.
Overall, the predominant space of the town is utilized for housing and public facilitates purposes, with the emergence of two large industrial zones.
As can be seen from the diagram, the town is divided into multiple different parts by intersection, with a small square-shaped zone encircled by a vast circular area in the center. This middle square spot encompasses two parking areas and two bus stations positioned at each corner. In addition, this section is surrounded predominantly by numerous housing units and some recreational buildings in the southern and eastern sections of the town.
In the external part of the ring roads, the orientation for erecting houses is prioritized entirely for the almost space, with the exceptions for two industrial parts which are allocated respectively in the top left- hand side and bottom right-hand side of the map.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The graphic depicts the plan is expected for a typical new town." -> "The graphic illustrates the planned layout for a typical new town."
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested revision corrects the grammar and clarifies the meaning, making it more formal and precise.
"public facilitates purposes" -> "public facilities purposes"
Explanation: The original phrase is incorrect as "facilitates" is a verb and "facilities" is the noun form. Correcting this to "facilities" aligns with the intended meaning and maintains grammatical accuracy.
"As can be seen from the diagram" -> "As depicted in the diagram"
Explanation: "As depicted in the diagram" is a more formal and precise way to introduce the description of the diagram, enhancing the academic tone.
"intersection" -> "intersections"
Explanation: The singular "intersection" incorrectly implies a single point of intersection, whereas the diagram shows multiple points of intersection. Using the plural "intersections" correctly describes the multiple points.
"small square-shaped zone" -> "small square-shaped area"
Explanation: "Area" is more appropriate than "zone" in this context, as it refers to a defined space within the town plan, which is more commonly used in urban planning terminology.
"encircles" -> "encircles"
Explanation: The verb "encircles" should be used with the correct form "it" as the subject, not "this."
"orientation for erecting houses" -> "orientation for residential construction"
Explanation: "Orientation for erecting houses" is awkward and unclear. "Orientation for residential construction" is more precise and formal, fitting the context of urban planning.
"the almost space" -> "almost all the space"
Explanation: The original phrase "the almost space" is grammatically incorrect and unclear. "Almost all the space" corrects this and clarifies the intended meaning.
"top left-hand side" -> "upper left quadrant"
Explanation: "Top left-hand side" is informal and imprecise. "Upper left quadrant" is a more formal and precise term commonly used in spatial descriptions.
"bottom right-hand side" -> "lower right quadrant"
Explanation: Similar to the previous point, "bottom right-hand side" is informal and less precise. "Lower right quadrant" is more formal and appropriate for an academic context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5

Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task, but the format is inappropriate in places. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main features of the plan. Instead, it recounts details mechanically, with no clear overview. The essay also does not provide any data to support the description. The essay presents some key features/bullet points, but it inadequately covers them. There is a tendency to focus on details.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a clear overview of the main features of the plan. The essay should also provide data to support the description. For example, the essay could state that the town is divided into four quadrants, with each quadrant containing a different mix of housing, industrial, and recreational areas. The essay could also provide specific details about the size and location of each feature. The essay should also avoid focusing on details and instead focus on presenting a clear and concise overview of the main features of the plan.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents information with some organization but lacks overall progression. It attempts to describe the layout of a proposed new town but lacks clarity and coherence in the presentation. There are some attempts at using cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases ("overall", "as can be seen", "in addition"), but they are used inaccurately and inconsistently. The paragraphing is not logical, with unclear breaks between ideas. There is repetition ("middle square spot", "top left-hand side", "bottom right-hand side") which affects the coherence.

How to improve:
To improve coherence and cohesion, the essay should focus on organizing information in a clear sequence that follows a logical progression. It should avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure that cohesive devices are used correctly to connect ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, clear and logical paragraph breaks should be established to separate different aspects of the town’s plan effectively.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary appropriate for describing the layout of a new town. It uses basic vocabulary such as "housing," "public facilitates," "industrial zones," "parking areas," "bus stations," and "recreational buildings." While these terms are sufficient for the task, they lack variety and sophistication, contributing to a somewhat repetitive and simplistic description.

How to improve:
To achieve a higher band score, the vocabulary needs to be expanded to include more diverse and precise terms relevant to urban planning. Synonyms for common words like "housing" and "industrial zones" could be incorporated. Additionally, using more specific terminology related to town planning and infrastructure would enhance lexical range and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic. Working on word formation and spelling accuracy would also help in reducing errors that occasionally affect readability.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including some complex sentences. There is an effort to present different parts of the town plan with basic coherence. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay that affect clarity and precision. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. These errors can cause some difficulty for the reader in fully understanding the content.

How to improve:

Grammar and Sentence Structure: Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures with more accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions.
Complex Sentences: Attempt to construct more complex sentences accurately. Make sure that complex sentences are clear and effectively communicate the intended meaning.
Proofreading: Prioritize proofreading to eliminate grammatical errors and improve punctuation consistency. This will enhance overall clarity and coherence.

By addressing these areas, you can aim for a higher band score in Grammatical Range and Accuracy criteria, potentially reaching Band 6 or higher.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagram illustrates the proposed layout of a new town. Overall, residential and public amenities dominate the majority of the town’s space, accompanied by two significant industrial zones.

The town is divided into distinct sections by intersecting roads, featuring a central circular area surrounding a smaller square zone. This central square includes two parking lots and bus terminals positioned at each corner. Surrounding this area are predominantly residential units, along with recreational buildings situated in the southern and eastern parts of the town.

Beyond the ring roads, residential construction occupies nearly all available space, with two industrial sectors designated in the top left and bottom right corners of the map.