The maps below show changes in the town of Hillingford between 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The maps below show changes in the town of Hillingford between 2000 and 2015.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The two given pictures illustrate how the town of Hillingford was developed in 15 years since 2000.

Overall, there had been a dramatic changes, from a residential area, it became to a complex area with many new facilities. The most noticeable was having more serviced places by the utilization of the massive fields.

In 2000, the town was propably a small fishing village which just had many small facilities and the rest was for housing. However, 2015 witnessed a modernization by the adding of Flats, Tennis Courts, Playground and 2 restaurant buildings on the Fields. The woods was cut down and replaced by the extend of the main road. Following that, the Country House was converted to the Hotel and many Housing along the extend road.

On the Northeast area, the Train Station was built. The market, which located at the center of the map was expanded and turned into a Supermarket. Many houses view to the beach had been transformed to commercial purposes and the way from East to West also been enlarged, not just ending at a Shop.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"there had been a dramatic changes" -> "there had been dramatic changes"
Explanation: "Dramatic" is already an adjective that implies significant or striking changes, so "changes" should be used in the plural form to match the noun properly.
"it became to a complex area" -> "it evolved into a complex area"
Explanation: "Evolved into" is a more precise and sophisticated way to express the transformation of the area over time. "Became to" is grammatically incorrect.
"The most noticeable was having more serviced places by the utilization of the massive fields." -> "The most notable change was the incorporation of additional amenities through the utilization of the vast fields."
Explanation: "Notable" is a more formal and precise term than "noticeable." Additionally, "incorporation of additional amenities" provides a clearer description of the change. "Serviced places" is vague and could be replaced with "amenities."
"propably" -> "probably"
Explanation: "Probably" is the correct spelling of the word, with a single "b" rather than two.
"had just many small facilities" -> "had only a few small facilities"
Explanation: "Just many" is awkward phrasing; "only a few" is clearer and more concise.
"modernization by the adding of Flats" -> "modernization through the addition of flats"
Explanation: Using "through" instead of "by" enhances clarity and formalizes the language. "Flats" should be capitalized to maintain consistency.
"was cut down and replaced by the extend of the main road" -> "was cleared and replaced by the extension of the main road"
Explanation: "Cleared" is a more appropriate term for the removal of trees. "Extend" should be replaced with "extension," and "of" should be omitted.
"the Country House was converted to the Hotel" -> "the country house was converted into a hotel"
Explanation: The article "the" should be lowercase, and "into" is more appropriate than "to" in this context.
"many Housing along the extend road" -> "many houses along the extended road"
Explanation: "Housing" should be singular "houses," and "extend" should be "extended" to match the past tense.
"which located at the center of the map" -> "which is located at the center of the map"
Explanation: Adding "is" clarifies the sentence’s tense and structure.
"many houses view to the beach" -> "many houses with a view of the beach"
Explanation: "View to" should be replaced with "with a view of," which is a more precise and grammatically correct construction.
"the way from East to West also been enlarged" -> "the passage from east to west has also been widened"
Explanation: "Way" can be replaced with "passage" for clarity and formality. "Enlarged" can be replaced with "widened" for a more precise description of the change.

These suggestions enhance the essay’s clarity, formality, and precision in describing the development of the town of Hillingford over 15 years.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay addresses the task by summarizing the changes in the town of Hillingford between 2000 and 2015. It provides an overview of the transformation from a residential area to a complex with various facilities. Key features such as the addition of flats, tennis courts, playgrounds, and restaurants are highlighted. The expansion of the market into a supermarket and the conversion of houses into commercial properties are also mentioned. However, some details lack clarity, and there are minor inaccuracies, such as the mention of a country house being converted to a hotel, which is not evident from the maps.
How to improve: Provide more accurate descriptions of the changes based solely on the visual information presented in the maps. Focus on presenting key features more clearly and avoid irrelevant or speculative details. Ensure that all information provided is supported by the visuals. Use precise language to describe the transformations observed in the town over the 15-year period.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization by dividing the discussion into past (2000) and present (2015) descriptions of Hillingford. However, the progression lacks clarity as there is no clear transition between the two time periods. Additionally, there are inconsistencies in the description, such as referring to the town as a fishing village in 2000, which might not be accurate given the provided maps. Cohesive devices are used to some extent, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and unclear connections between ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but it’s not consistently logical, and there are instances where multiple ideas are included within the same paragraph, leading to confusion.

How to improve:

Provide a clearer and more structured overview of the changes over the 15-year period, perhaps by starting with an overview of the town’s initial state in 2000 and then progressing to the changes observed by 2015.
Ensure consistency and accuracy in descriptions. Avoid assumptions like the town being a fishing village without evidence from the provided maps.
Use cohesive devices more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas and improve coherence.
Focus on logical paragraphing, with each paragraph addressing a specific aspect of the changes in Hillingford and maintaining a clear progression of ideas within paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common words such as "modernization," "utilization," and "residential." However, the vocabulary is repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as "propably" instead of "probably" and "extend" instead of "extended." Additionally, there are errors in word formation, such as "the extend of the main road" instead of "the extension of the main road." While the essay communicates the main features of the changes in Hillingford, the vocabulary used is basic and may cause some difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on expanding vocabulary by incorporating a wider range of words and phrases. Use synonyms and varied expressions to convey meaning more precisely. Pay attention to word choice and ensure accuracy in spelling and word formation to enhance clarity and coherence. Additionally, aim to avoid repetition and strive for more sophisticated language use to elevate the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt at using a variety of structures, incorporating a mix of simple and complex sentences. There is an effort to convey the information clearly, albeit with some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The essay attempts to describe the changes in the town of Hillingford over a 15-year period, highlighting the transformation from a residential area to a more complex urban setting with new facilities.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring consistency in verb tense usage. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence clarity. Reviewing and revising for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing can enhance overall communication effectiveness. Additionally, aim to incorporate a wider range of grammatical structures to convey ideas more precisely and fluently.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps depict the transformation of Hillingford over a span of 15 years, from 2000 to 2015.

In 2000, Hillingford appeared to be primarily a residential area with limited facilities. However, by 2015, significant changes had taken place, leading to the development of a more complex urban landscape.

One prominent change is the utilization of previously undeveloped land, notably the large fields, which have been repurposed to accommodate various services and amenities. This includes the construction of flats, tennis courts, playgrounds, and two restaurant buildings, indicating a shift towards a more diverse and bustling environment.

Additionally, there has been a noticeable alteration in the town’s infrastructure. The expansion of the main road, facilitated by the removal of woods, reflects efforts to improve connectivity and accessibility within Hillingford. Moreover, the transformation of the country house into a hotel, along with the proliferation of housing units along the extended road, signifies a trend towards commercialization and urbanization.

On the northeastern side, the establishment of a train station has likely enhanced transportation links, contributing to the town’s growth and accessibility. Furthermore, the expansion of the market into a supermarket suggests an increase in commercial activity and consumer convenience.

Moreover, the conversion of residential properties facing the beach into commercial establishments indicates a shift in land use towards more economically productive ventures. Additionally, the widening of the east-west thoroughfare, which previously terminated at a shop, signifies efforts to improve traffic flow and accommodate the growing population.

Overall, the maps depict a substantial transformation of Hillingford over the 15-year period, characterized by the development of new facilities, changes in land use, and improvements in infrastructure, all contributing to the town’s evolution into a more vibrant and diversified urban center.