The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The maps show the center of a small town called Islip as it is now, and the plans for its development. The town is expected to undergo plenty of remarkable developments including the improvement of road infrastructure and the addition of commercial and the urbanization of the residential areas.
Concerning the situation of Islip, as it is now, this town can be accessible via a main road running from Western to Eastern. The main road facilitates the development of local economies, leading to the rows of shops built along both sides of the road. Furthermore, the branching from the main road in the Southwest and Southeast areas helps citizens approach a school and a park with ease. Additionally, the residential areas are built between the public facilities and local shops where dwellers can access services conveniently.
Regarding proposed changes to the town, the major development is the construction of the dual carriageway, which will form a ring road to navigate traffic. The next transformation is that the main street is going to be pedestrianized. Thanks to replacement pedestrianization, this will facilitate the development of complex centers and public facilities in the North of the street while local shops in the South remain unchanged. Additionally, the town’s park is reduced in size to replace new housing and help two old branchings of the main road connecting each other expand into the ring road.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"remarkable developments including the improvement of road infrastructure" -> "significant developments such as the enhancement of road infrastructure"
Explanation: Replacing "remarkable developments including" with "significant developments such as" maintains clarity while using a more precise and formal term "enhancement" instead of "improvement."
"urbanization of the residential areas" -> "urban redevelopment of the residential areas"
Explanation: "Urban redevelopment" is a more specific term that accurately conveys the transformation of residential areas into more urbanized spaces.
"Concerning the situation of Islip" -> "Regarding the current state of Islip"
Explanation: "Regarding" is a more formal and appropriate transition phrase in this context than "Concerning."
"facilitates the development of local economies" -> "stimulates local economic development"
Explanation: "Stimulates" is a more dynamic and precise verb choice that conveys the idea of encouraging growth.
"Furthermore, the branching from the main road in the Southwest and Southeast areas helps citizens approach a school and a park with ease." -> "Additionally, the road branching off from the main thoroughfare in the Southwest and Southeast facilitates easy access to a school and a park for residents."
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence improves clarity and flow, while using "facilitates easy access" instead of "helps citizens approach" enhances precision.
"Furthermore, the residential areas are built between the public facilities and local shops where dwellers can access services conveniently." -> "Moreover, residential zones are strategically situated between public facilities and local shops, ensuring convenient access to services for residents."
Explanation: "Strategically situated" and "ensuring convenient access" convey a more deliberate and intentional placement of residential areas, enhancing clarity and sophistication.
"Regarding proposed changes to the town" -> "With regard to the proposed town developments"
Explanation: "With regard to" is a formal alternative to "Regarding," fitting for an academic or professional context.
"Thanks to replacement pedestrianization" -> "As a result of pedestrianization replacement"
Explanation: "As a result of" provides a clearer cause-and-effect relationship, while "pedestrianization replacement" is more specific and formal.
"this will facilitate the development of complex centers" -> "this measure will facilitate the development of commercial centers"
Explanation: "Commercial centers" is a more specific term than "complex centers," providing a clearer description of the type of development.
"Additionally, the town’s park is reduced in size to replace new housing" -> "Furthermore, the town’s park will be downsized to make room for new housing"
Explanation: "Downsized" is a more concise and appropriate term than "reduced in size," and "make room for" is clearer than "replace."

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of both the current situation of Islip and the proposed developments. It presents key features such as road infrastructure, commercial areas, residential zones, and public facilities. The essay also makes relevant comparisons between the current state and the planned changes. However, some points could be further developed for a more comprehensive analysis.
How to improve: To enhance the response, provide more detailed descriptions of the current layout of Islip and the proposed changes. Ensure that each aspect mentioned is fully elaborated upon to provide a deeper understanding for the reader. Additionally, consider incorporating more specific data or statistics to support the overview. This will strengthen the analysis and elevate the essay to a higher band score.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a clear organization of information and ideas, both in the description of the current situation of Islip and the proposed developments. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the town, its current state, and the planned changes. The progression from discussing the current situation to the proposed developments is logical and coherent. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices such as transitional phrases ("Regarding proposed changes," "Furthermore") contributes to the overall coherence of the essay. The essay also effectively presents a clear central topic within each paragraph, maintaining a clear focus throughout.

How to improve:
To further enhance coherence and cohesion, the essay could benefit from more varied and precise cohesive devices to strengthen the connections between ideas. Additionally, ensuring consistent and logical paragraphing, especially in transitioning between different aspects of the town’s current state and the proposed changes, would improve the overall coherence of the essay. Finally, the essay could provide more explicit comparisons between the current state of Islip and the proposed developments to fully address the essay prompt and enhance cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
This essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision in expressing ideas related to the town of Islip and its development plans. The writer uses less common lexical items such as "urbanization," "pedestrianization," "branchings," and "dual carriageway," showing some awareness of style and collocation. There are occasional errors in word choice and word formation, such as "the improvement of road infrastructure and the addition of commercial and the urbanization of the residential areas," where the structure could be improved for clarity. However, these errors do not significantly impede understanding.

How to improve:
To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary consistently throughout the essay. Pay attention to word choice and ensure accuracy in collocation and idiomatic expressions. Review the structure of complex sentences to enhance clarity and coherence, which will further demonstrate control over lexical features.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar and punctuation, with a variety of complex structures used throughout. The writer effectively communicates the main features of the current layout of Islip and the proposed changes. Complex sentence structures are utilized, such as relative clauses ("where dwellers can access services conveniently") and conditional sentences ("if the main street is pedestrianized"). The majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to the clarity of the essay.

How to improve:
To further improve, the writer could aim for even greater accuracy and precision in their language use. They might consider refining the use of prepositions and article usage for more nuanced expression. Additionally, ensuring consistency in verb tense usage would enhance the overall coherence of the essay. Overall, continued exposure to a variety of sentence structures and careful proofreading can help elevate the grammatical range and accuracy to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

The maps illustrate the current layout of Islip, a small town, alongside proposed development plans. The town is set to undergo significant changes, encompassing enhancements to road infrastructure and the integration of commercial and residential areas.

Presently, Islip is accessible via a primary road running from west to east, fostering local economic activity evident in the rows of shops lining both sides. Additionally, branching roads in the southwest and southeast enable convenient access to a school and a park. Residential zones are strategically situated between public amenities and local businesses, ensuring residents’ accessibility to essential services.

Proposed alterations to the town include the construction of a dual carriageway, forming a ring road to alleviate traffic congestion. Furthermore, the main street is slated for pedestrianization, which will facilitate the development of complex centers and public amenities in the northern section, while preserving the character of local shops in the southern area. Additionally, the town’s park will undergo downsizing to accommodate new housing developments and enable the expansion of two old branching roads into the ring road.