The maps below show the changes in a town after the construction of a hydroelectric power dam. Write at least 150 words.

The given maps depict how the town changed after the erection of a new hydroelectric dam between 1980 and 2010.
Overall, the town underwent some dramatic changes, with a construction of different amenities catering for the generation of hydroelectric and residential areas. Additionally, it should be noted that some artificial buildings and forest were demolished to make way for extending the river into the lake for different purposes.
Regarding the North side of the new hydroelectric dam, there were several transformations that can be seen in this region between 1980 and 2000. While all of the mountains remained the same, the river was extended for the expense of the forest, some ancient structures, rare plants and creatures and the irrigated farmland nearby to offer the opportunity for the development of the fishing industry. The village which was opposite to the lake, was converted into the new hotel for catering the demand of short-term accommodation.
In terms of the hydroelectric dam, it was erected near the centre of the town, between two mountains. To the South side of the new hydroelectric dam, the electricity systems were built along both sides of the river. The new residential area for citizens was added for the demand of living in this neighbourhood to the south east side of the dam.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"amenities catering for" -> "facilities catering to"
Explanation: "Catering for" implies providing food or services for a particular group, while "catering to" indicates providing what is desired or needed by that group, which is more appropriate in this context.
"demolished to make way for extending" -> "demolished to make way for the extension of"
Explanation: "Extending" is not typically used in this context; "extension of" is more precise and idiomatic.
"Regarding the North side" -> "Regarding the northern side"
Explanation: Using "northern" instead of "North" adds clarity and adheres to standard usage conventions.
"transformations that can be seen" -> "transformations evident"
Explanation: "Can be seen" is redundant; using "evident" makes the sentence more concise and formal.
"for the expense of" -> "at the expense of"
Explanation: "At the expense of" is the correct idiom to indicate what is sacrificed or paid for something else.
"converted into the new hotel for catering" -> "converted into a new hotel to cater"
Explanation: Reordering the phrase and using "a" instead of "the" makes the sentence clearer and more grammatically correct.
"it was erected near the centre" -> "it was constructed near the center"
Explanation: "Erected" is typically used for structures like buildings or monuments, while "constructed" is more appropriate for dams.
"electricity systems were built" -> "electricity infrastructure was established"
Explanation: "Electricity systems" is vague; "electricity infrastructure" is more precise. "Established" emphasizes the creation of infrastructure.
"added for the demand of living" -> "added to meet the demand for living"
Explanation: "For the demand of living" is awkward; "to meet the demand for living" is clearer and more grammatically correct.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by presenting a clear overview of the main changes in the town following the construction of the hydroelectric dam. It highlights key features such as the extension of the river into a lake, demolition of buildings and forest, and the creation of new amenities and residential areas. The essay provides relevant information about the transformations in both the North and South sides of the dam, including the development of the fishing industry and the addition of electricity systems and residential areas. However, some details could be more fully extended to enhance clarity and coherence.
How to improve: To improve, provide more specific details and extend the discussion of each transformation to offer a deeper understanding of the changes. Ensure that all information is directly relevant to the task and avoid unnecessary repetition or irrelevant details. Additionally, consider organizing the essay in a more structured manner to enhance coherence and flow.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates some coherence and cohesion but has areas for improvement. The essay attempts to organize information chronologically, presenting changes from 1980 to 2010 and different areas affected by the construction of the hydroelectric dam. However, there are some instances of faulty cohesion within and between sentences, leading to occasional confusion. For example, the transition between discussing the North side and the South side of the dam could be smoother. Additionally, while the essay uses cohesive devices like "regarding," "in terms of," and "overall," they are sometimes used inconsistently, affecting the flow of the essay. The paragraphing is somewhat logical but could be improved for better clarity and coherence.

How to improve:

Ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay.
Work on smoother transitions between different sections or ideas, enhancing the overall coherence.
Review paragraphing to ensure logical organization and coherence within each paragraph.
Clarify referencing to avoid ambiguity and improve overall cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms related to urban development and hydroelectric power. It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "erected," "amenities," "catering," and "irrigated," but with some inaccuracy and occasional misuse, such as "erection" instead of "construction." There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation, like "for the expense of" instead of "at the expense of," and awkward phrasing like "the opportunity for the development of the fishing industry." Spelling and word formation errors, such as "catering" instead of "catering to," are present but do not significantly impede communication.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource, focus on using vocabulary more accurately and precisely. Review and revise sentence structures for clarity and fluency. Pay attention to collocation patterns and idiomatic usage to improve the naturalness of expression. Additionally, proofread carefully to eliminate spelling and word formation errors.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating some variety in sentence structures. There are attempts at using complex structures, such as subordinate clauses, although these are not consistently accurate. While the essay generally communicates its ideas, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text, though they do not significantly hinder understanding.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures consistently. Pay close attention to the accuracy of complex structures, ensuring they are used correctly to avoid confusion. Additionally, review grammar rules and punctuation to minimize errors and enhance overall clarity.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the transformation of a town following the establishment of a hydroelectric dam from 1980 to 2010.

Overall, the town underwent significant changes, characterized by the construction of various facilities to support hydroelectric generation and residential purposes. Additionally, it is noteworthy that certain man-made structures and forested areas were cleared to facilitate the expansion of the river into a lake for diverse applications.

On the northern side of the dam, notable alterations occurred between 1980 and 2000. While the mountainous terrain remained unchanged, the river was extended, necessitating the removal of forests, historical structures, rare flora and fauna, and adjacent farmland to facilitate the growth of the fishing industry. Moreover, the village situated opposite the lake was repurposed into a hotel to meet the demand for short-term accommodations.

Regarding the hydroelectric dam itself, it was constructed near the town center, nestled between two mountains. On the southern side of the dam, electricity infrastructure was erected along both riverbanks. Additionally, a new residential area was developed to cater to the housing needs of residents in this vicinity, situated southeast of the dam.