The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860 and 2000.

The maps below show the changes that occurred to a town named Willington in 1780, 1860
and 2000.

Three plans covering a 220-year period depict the main developments to the town Willington from 1780 until 2000.
Overall, the town underwent significant transformation and modernization throughout the period, while some buildings have been demolished, others have been added to improve living conditions.
The most outstanding feature is the improvement in transportation within the town as the bridge was constructed. Moreover, infrastructure developed by establishing a roadway between the river and houses and schools north and east of the town. As a result of construction road facilities ,trees and farms were reduced and demolished by 2000 . Additionally, wetland for birds was built south of the river, improving the natural habitat.
Another noticeable change is the increase of housing northeast of the town, reaching 500 homes. In addition, as of 2000, schools and sport fields have been built, occupying part of the area that was previously exclusively taken up by the woods. Shops were added to the southeast of the river.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Three plans covering a 220-year period depict the main developments to the town Willington from 1780 until 2000." -> "Three plans spanning a 220-year period illustrate the principal developments in the town of Willington from 1780 to 2000."
Explanation: "Spanning" is more precise than "covering," and "illustrate" is more formal than "depict." Additionally, "the town of Willington" is more specific and formal than "the town Willington."
"the town underwent significant transformation and modernization throughout the period, while some buildings have been demolished, others have been added to improve living conditions." -> "the town underwent significant transformations and modernization throughout the period, with some buildings being demolished and others constructed to enhance living conditions."
Explanation: "Transformations" is more accurate and formal than "transformation," and "being demolished and constructed" is more precise than "have been demolished and have been added."
"the improvement in transportation within the town as the bridge was constructed." -> "the improvement in transportation within the town resulting from the construction of the bridge."
Explanation: "Resulting from" is more formal and precise than "as," which is somewhat casual and vague in this context.
"infrastructure developed by establishing a roadway between the river and houses and schools north and east of the town." -> "infrastructure was developed by constructing a roadway connecting the river to houses and schools north and east of the town."
Explanation: "Constructing" is more specific than "establishing," and "connecting" is more precise than "between," which is vague.
"As a result of construction road facilities,trees and farms were reduced and demolished by 2000." -> "Consequently, road construction led to the reduction and demolition of trees and farms by 2000."
Explanation: "Consequently" is more formal than "As a result of," and "led to" is more direct and clear than "As a result of construction road facilities."
"wetland for birds was built south of the river, improving the natural habitat." -> "a wetland for birds was constructed south of the river, enhancing the natural habitat."
Explanation: "Constructed" is more formal than "built," and "enhancing" is more precise than "improving."
"increase of housing northeast of the town, reaching 500 homes." -> "increase in housing northeast of the town, reaching 500 dwellings."
Explanation: "Increase in" is grammatically correct, and "dwellings" is more formal than "homes."
"schools and sport fields have been built, occupying part of the area that was previously exclusively taken up by the woods." -> "schools and sports fields were constructed, occupying a portion of the area previously exclusively occupied by woods."
Explanation: "Were constructed" is more formal than "have been built," and "a portion" is more precise than "part of."
"Shops were added to the southeast of the river." -> "shops were established in the southeast of the river."
Explanation: "Established" is more formal and specific than "added," which is somewhat vague in this context.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the changes that occurred in the town of Willington between 1780 and 2000. The essay highlights some key features, such as the construction of a bridge and the increase in housing, but it also includes some irrelevant details, such as the number of homes in each year.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing more on the key features of the maps and providing more specific details about the changes that occurred. For example, the essay could mention that the bridge was built in 1860 and that the number of homes increased from 100 in 1780 to 500 in 2000. The essay could also provide more information about the changes in the natural environment, such as the reduction in trees and the creation of a wetland for birds.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information and ideas in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are instances where cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to some mechanical flow. The paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured, as the ideas within the paragraphs sometimes lack clear connections. For example, the transition from discussing transportation improvements to housing developments could be more fluid.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that transitions between ideas are smoother. Additionally, organizing paragraphs more logically—perhaps by grouping similar themes together—would strengthen the overall structure of the essay. Clearer referencing and substitution could also help reduce repetition and improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, such as "transformation," "modernization," "infrastructure," and "habitat." However, there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as "improvement in transportation" which could be more specifically described. The attempt to use less common vocabulary is noted, but inaccuracies appear, particularly in phrases like "construction road facilities," which lacks clarity. There are also minor errors in spelling and word formation, such as "sport fields" which should be "sports fields." These issues do not severely impede communication, but they do indicate a need for greater precision and control.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary accurately. This includes ensuring precise word choices and avoiding awkward phrases. Additionally, practicing the correct formation of compound nouns and ensuring that less common vocabulary is used correctly will contribute to a higher score. Engaging with varied reading materials can also help in expanding vocabulary and understanding contextual usage.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which aligns with the criteria for Band 6. There are some grammatical errors and issues with punctuation, such as in the phrase "construction road facilities," which should be rephrased for clarity. While these errors do not significantly hinder communication, they are noticeable and detract from the overall accuracy of the writing. The essay does convey the main ideas effectively, but the presence of errors indicates a need for improvement in grammatical control.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and punctuation. This can be done by proofreading the essay for common errors and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed correctly. Additionally, increasing the variety of sentence structures and using more sophisticated vocabulary could help to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical skills. Practicing writing with a focus on clarity and coherence will also contribute to improved performance in this criterion.

Bài sửa mẫu

Three plans covering a 220-year period depict the main developments in the town of Willington from 1780 until 2000. Overall, the town underwent significant transformation and modernization throughout this period, with some buildings being demolished while others were added to enhance living conditions.

The most notable feature is the improvement in transportation within the town, highlighted by the construction of a bridge. Furthermore, infrastructure was developed by establishing a roadway connecting the river to the houses and schools located to the north and east of the town. As a result of the construction of road facilities, trees and farms were reduced and removed by 2000. Additionally, a wetland for birds was created south of the river, enhancing the natural habitat.

Another significant change is the increase in housing northeast of the town, which reached a total of 500 homes. Moreover, by 2000, schools and sports fields were constructed, occupying part of the area that was previously exclusively covered by woods. Shops were also added to the southeast of the river.