The maps show changes of a beach hotel in 2003 and 2013

The maps show the changes made to a beach hotel in 2003 and 2013.
Overall, the most noticeable changes were made to the hotel capacity, facilities and recreation areas for hotel visitors.
To begin with, in 2003, on top of the hotel's map lies a row of hotels rooms. After 10 years, one floor was added to this row of hotels rooms to increase the hotel's capacity. The swimming pool which sits next the row of hotels has been moved the other end of the hotel. The swimming pool has also been significantly enlarged and changed in shape for aesthetic purposes. In addition, the newly added facilities near the swimming area were a few palm trees and a nearby multi-purposes seating area.
Another major change made to the was recreation facilities. In particular, a new watersports offering rental service for a wide range of water sports, has been added next to the new seating area. Earlier in 2003, a white fence separated the beach and the hotel facilities. However, in 2013, the fence was removed, making access to the beach even more convenient for hotel visitors

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"row of hotels rooms" -> "row of hotel rooms"
Explanation: "Hotels rooms" is incorrect; it should be "hotel rooms" to indicate the rooms within the hotel. Singular "hotel" and "rooms" should agree in number.
"next the row of hotels" -> "adjacent to the row of hotel"
Explanation: "Next" can be replaced with "adjacent to" for a more formal and precise description of the location relationship. Additionally, "hotels" should be singular "hotel" to maintain grammatical consistency.
"multi-purposes seating area" -> "multi-purpose seating area"
Explanation: "Multi-purposes" is incorrect; it should be "multi-purpose" to indicate that the seating area serves multiple purposes. Singular "purpose" should agree with the singular form of "area."
"Another major change made to the was recreation facilities" -> "Another major change made was to the recreation facilities"
Explanation: The placement of "to the" is incorrect; it should be positioned after "made." "Was" is redundant and should be removed for clarity and conciseness.
"offering rental service for a wide range of water sports" -> "offering rental services for a wide range of water sports"
Explanation: "Service" should be pluralized to match the plural noun "services." This maintains grammatical agreement between the subject and object of the sentence.
"watersports" -> "water sports"
Explanation: "Watersports" should be written as two words, "water sports," to adhere to standard English usage.
"multi-purposes seating area" -> "multi-purpose seating area"
Explanation: Same as point 3, "multi-purposes" should be corrected to "multi-purpose" to maintain grammatical consistency and clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the changes made to the beach hotel between 2003 and 2013. It highlights key features such as the increase in hotel capacity, relocation and enlargement of the swimming pool, addition of new facilities and recreation areas, and removal of the beach fence. The information is presented in a coherent manner, allowing the reader to understand the changes effectively.
How to improve: To further enhance the essay, consider providing more specific details about the size of the hotel capacity increase, the dimensions of the swimming pool, and the types of water sports offered in the new rental service. Additionally, ensure that the language used is precise and avoids repetition or unnecessary phrases.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information coherently, with a clear overall progression from describing the changes in hotel capacity to recreation facilities. Cohesive devices are used effectively, though there are instances of faulty cohesion within sentences, such as in "To begin with, in 2003, on top of the hotel’s map lies a row of hotels rooms." The essay does use paragraphing, but not always logically, as some ideas could be better organized within paragraphs. Overall, there is a clear attempt to meet the criteria for Band 6.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on ensuring that ideas are presented in a more logically organized manner within paragraphs. Also, pay attention to the use of cohesive devices to ensure they are used correctly and consistently throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. It effectively describes changes to the beach hotel’s capacity, facilities, and recreation areas. Some less common vocabulary, such as "multi-purposes seating area" and "aesthetic purposes," is used, albeit with occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. There are also some errors in word formation and spelling, like "purposes" instead of "purpose" and "the was" instead of "was."

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using vocabulary with more precision and accuracy. Pay attention to word choice and ensure consistency in spelling and word formation. Additionally, strive to incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary to enhance the richness and sophistication of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating a variety of structures. There is an attempt at using complex sentences, such as "After 10 years, one floor was added to this row of hotel rooms to increase the hotel’s capacity." However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout the essay that slightly reduce clarity and cohesion. For example, "To begin with, in 2003, on top of the hotel’s map lies a row of hotels rooms" could be better phrased for clarity. Additionally, there are some punctuation errors, like missing commas in lists ("facilities and recreation areas for hotel visitors"). These errors do not significantly hinder communication but are noticeable.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures further by incorporating more complex sentence forms with clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and use of articles to ensure grammatical accuracy. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation errors and awkward phrasings can enhance the overall coherence and readability of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided maps illustrate the transformations undergone by a beach hotel between 2003 and 2013. Overall, significant alterations are evident in the hotel’s capacity, amenities, and recreational spaces for guests.

Initially, in 2003, the hotel layout depicted a row of guest rooms. Over the course of a decade, an additional floor was constructed atop this existing row to augment the hotel’s accommodation capacity. Notably, the swimming pool, previously situated adjacent to the row of guest rooms, underwent relocation to the opposite end of the hotel. Furthermore, the pool was substantially enlarged and reconfigured to enhance its visual appeal. Complementary to this, new amenities, including palm trees and a multipurpose seating area, were introduced in close proximity to the enlarged pool area.

In addition to the physical alterations, notable changes were observed in the hotel’s recreational offerings. Particularly noteworthy is the establishment of a water sports rental service adjacent to the newly developed seating area. Contrasting the setup in 2003, where a white fence demarcated the boundary between the beach and hotel facilities, the year 2013 witnessed the removal of this barrier, facilitating more convenient access to the beach for hotel patrons.