The maps show the changes in the village of Wells-on-the-Water in the UK between 1985 and 2010. Summarise the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps show the changes in the village of Wells-on-the-Water in the UK between 1985 and 2010.
Summarise the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps demonstrate how a small village called Wells-on-the-Water in the UK developed from 1985 to 2010.
Overall, the village underwent significant changes, with the most notable ones being the addition of shops and houses, and the expansion of roadways were recorded. In contrast, farmland was demolished to make way for many of the new buildings of this residence.
Regarding the bottom half of this place, while a post office still remained unchanged, a farm house was knocked down and was converted into a park nearby. In addition, plenty of houses located on both banks of the river was a substitute for all trees and farmland in the east of the post office. The mansion lane next to it experienced a radical extension eastwards through a crossing bridge which was newly built
;however, the Woods Drive stayed the same as it used to be.
Significant changes were witnessed on the remaining sides of this site. The old factory situated on the left side of the Woods Drive was given way to luxury flats; similarly, there was the substitution of Care home for mansion house on the opposite side. Besides, differing from mansion gardens 25 years later recorded no changes, a large number of shopping facilities and a post office was newly-added, replacing the farming land on the top of the village.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The two maps demonstrate" -> "The two maps illustrate"
Explanation: "Illustrate" is more precise and academically appropriate than "demonstrate" in this context, as it specifically refers to the visual representation of information, which is more accurate for describing maps.
"small village called Wells-on-the-Water" -> "small village of Wells-on-the-Water"
Explanation: Using "of" instead of "called" corrects the grammatical structure, aligning it with the formal style of academic writing.
"the expansion of roadways were recorded" -> "the expansion of roadways was recorded"
Explanation: "Were" should be replaced with "was" to match the singular subject "expansion of roadways," adhering to subject-verb agreement rules.
"farmland was demolished to make way for many of the new buildings of this residence" -> "farmland was cleared to accommodate numerous new residential buildings"
Explanation: "Was cleared" is a more precise term than "was demolished," and "accommodate numerous new residential buildings" is more formal and specific than "make way for many of the new buildings of this residence."
"a farm house was knocked down and was converted into a park nearby" -> "a farmhouse was demolished and converted into a nearby park"
Explanation: "Farmhouse" is the correct term for a farm building, and "demolished" is more formal than "knocked down." Additionally, "converted into a nearby park" is clearer and more direct than "was converted into a park nearby."
"plenty of houses located on both banks of the river was a substitute for all trees and farmland in the east of the post office" -> "numerous houses on both riverbanks replaced the trees and farmland east of the post office"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise than "plenty," and "on both riverbanks" is grammatically correct. The phrase "replaced the trees and farmland" is clearer and more direct than "was a substitute for."
"The mansion lane next to it experienced a radical extension eastwards through a crossing bridge which was newly built" -> "The mansion lane adjacent to it underwent a significant eastward extension via a newly constructed crossing bridge"
Explanation: "Underwent" is more formal than "experienced," and "significant" is a more academic term than "radical." "Via" is more appropriate than "through" in this context, and "newly constructed" is more formal than "newly built."
"the Woods Drive stayed the same as it used to be" -> "Woods Drive remained unchanged"
Explanation: "Remained unchanged" is a more concise and formal way to express that something has not changed.
"Significant changes were witnessed on the remaining sides of this site" -> "Substantial changes were observed on the remaining sides of this site"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more academic term than "significant," and "observed" is more precise than "witnessed" in this context.
"The old factory situated on the left side of the Woods Drive was given way to luxury flats" -> "The old factory on the left side of Woods Drive was replaced by luxury flats"
Explanation: "Was replaced by" is a more direct and formal way to express the change, and removing "was given way to" corrects the awkward phrasing.
"a large number of shopping facilities and a post office was newly-added" -> "numerous shopping facilities and a post office were newly added"
Explanation: "Numerous" is more precise than "a large number," and "were newly added" corrects the verb agreement with the plural subject.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the changes in the village, but the information is not always appropriately selected. For example, the essay mentions that the "mansion lane next to it experienced a radical extension eastwards through a crossing bridge which was newly built", but this information is not relevant to the overall changes in the village. The essay also presents some inaccurate information, such as the statement that "a large number of shopping facilities and a post office was newly-added, replacing the farming land on the top of the village". While there are new shops and a post office, the farming land was not replaced by these buildings.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant changes in the village and providing more accurate information. The essay could also be made more concise by removing irrelevant details.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about the changes in the village of Wells-on-the-Water, but it lacks a clear overall progression and organization. While some information is presented, the ideas are not arranged coherently, leading to confusion in understanding the developments over time. The use of cohesive devices is inadequate and at times inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the relationships between ideas. Additionally, the paragraphing is inconsistent, with some sections lacking clear topic sentences or logical flow.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer should focus on organizing the information in a more logical manner, perhaps by grouping related changes together and using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Improving the use of cohesive devices, such as referencing and substitution, will help to create smoother transitions between ideas. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic will aid in maintaining a coherent structure throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task, which allows for clear communication of the main features of the maps. The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "demolished," "substitute," and "radical extension," but there are instances of inaccuracy in word choice and collocation, such as "was a substitute for" and "given way to." Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "farm house" (should be "farmhouse") and "plenty of houses located on both banks of the river was" (should be "were"). These errors do not severely impede communication but do detract from the overall quality of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary further and ensuring the precise use of less common lexical items. Additionally, careful proofreading to correct spelling and grammatical errors would enhance clarity. Practicing the use of collocations and ensuring that word forms are accurate will also contribute to a more sophisticated lexical resource.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While there are some attempts to use varied structures, the essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that occasionally hinder clarity. For example, phrases like "was a substitute for all trees and farmland" and "was given way to luxury flats" are not idiomatic and may confuse the reader. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the misuse of semicolons and commas, are present, which can disrupt the flow of reading. Overall, while the communication is generally effective, the errors are noticeable and detract from the overall quality.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on the following areas:

Sentence Structure: Aim to use a wider variety of complex sentences while ensuring they are grammatically correct. This includes correctly using subordinate clauses and avoiding awkward constructions.
Grammar and Punctuation: Pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Proofreading the essay for common errors can help reduce mistakes that affect clarity.
Clarity and Cohesion: Work on expressing ideas more clearly and cohesively. Using more precise vocabulary and idiomatic expressions can enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Error Reduction: Strive for more error-free sentences. Practicing writing and revising can help identify and correct frequent mistakes.

Bài sửa mẫu

Regarding the bottom half of the village, while a post office remained unchanged, a farmhouse was demolished and converted into a nearby park. In addition, numerous houses replaced all the trees and farmland to the east of the post office, located on both banks of the river. Mansion Lane next to it experienced a substantial extension eastwards, facilitated by a newly built crossing bridge; however, Woods Drive remained unchanged.

Significant changes were also observed on the remaining sides of the village. The old factory situated on the left side of Woods Drive was replaced by luxury flats; similarly, a care home replaced the mansion house on the opposite side. In contrast to Mansion Gardens, which recorded no changes over the 25 years, a large number of shopping facilities and a post office were newly added, replacing the farmland at the top of the village.