The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

It was stated that the most crucial criteria for science is to raised humanity's living standard. Science is known and taught to have their myriad forms, with all forms having different ways of approach and goals. This essay will be discussing the aspects of science on people's lifes.
Throughout many years , famous scientists always spend hundred of hours on the smallest natural occurence, what comes to us as a fact nowadays. For instance, almost everybody comprehends the existence of gravity, or more advanced the formulas: "e=mc2". However, ISaac Newton, a well-known physicist spent is whole life contemplating, researching and imparting all of those knowledge, which is considered to us as the most basic things in modern world. Although not all individuals can linked themselves on to the importance of those simple research, but their contribution in the recent production of vehicles or facilities cannot be denied. We have sensible light, automatic doors or even the newton meter, erc. All of devices which enhances our convenience and comfortability are all the improvements that science has made, in raise the living standard.
Moreover, NASA space research or World Health Organisation (WHO) have done a variety of research about environment on a different planet, or bacteria, researches only for a publications to help raise individuals' awareness relating to health and understanding of space. Some people might say those organizations wast to earn profits, but to the amount that they earned as what called profit was rarely higher than the amount they invested on facilities and working, therefore, if the conclusion of science for benefis was made, it may not soued convinced since they taking part more in improve living qualities rather than income.
In conclusion, I totally agree with this statement since science research and participation has always create revolution to our lives and developing the health standard in global perspective.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"It was stated that the most crucial criteria for science is to raised" -> "It is often argued that the primary objective of science is to raise"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The suggested revision corrects the verb tense and uses a more formal phrase structure, enhancing clarity and appropriateness for academic writing.
"Science is known and taught to have their myriad forms" -> "Science is recognized and taught to encompass various forms"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and vague. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more precise language, improving the academic tone.
"This essay will be discussing the aspects of science on people’s lifes" -> "This essay will explore the impact of science on people’s lives"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and informal. The revision corrects the grammar and uses a more formal and precise term, "impact," which is more suitable for academic writing.
"Throughout many years, famous scientists always spend hundred of hours" -> "Throughout many years, renowned scientists have spent hundreds of hours"
Explanation: The original sentence lacks a verb and uses informal language. The revision corrects the verb tense and uses more formal vocabulary, improving the sentence structure and tone.
"what comes to us as a fact nowadays" -> "which has become a widely accepted fact today"
Explanation: The original phrase is informal and vague. The revision uses more precise language and a more formal structure, enhancing the academic tone.
"ISaac Newton, a well-known physicist spent is whole life" -> "Isaac Newton, a renowned physicist, spent his entire life"
Explanation: The original sentence contains a grammatical error and informal language. The revision corrects the possessive form and uses more formal language.
"which is considered to us as the most basic things" -> "which are considered fundamental"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and informal. The revision simplifies and formalizes the language, making it more suitable for academic writing.
"All of devices which enhances our convenience and comfortability" -> "All these devices enhance our convenience and comfort"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and uses informal vocabulary. The revision corrects the grammar and uses more formal vocabulary.
"in raise the living standard" -> "to raise the living standard"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect. The revision corrects the preposition, ensuring grammatical accuracy.
"NASA space research or World Health Organisation (WHO) have done a variety of research" -> "NASA space research and the World Health Organisation (WHO) have conducted various studies"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and lacks clarity. The revision clarifies the meaning and uses more formal language.
"researches only for a publications to help raise individuals’ awareness" -> "research is primarily for publication to raise public awareness"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revision corrects the verb and clarifies the purpose of the research, using more formal language.
"as what called profit" -> "as what is referred to as profit"
Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision corrects the grammatical structure and clarifies the meaning.
"it may not soued convinced" -> "it may not be convincing"
Explanation: The original phrase contains a typographical error and informal language. The revision corrects the spelling and uses more formal vocabulary.
"improve living qualities" -> "improve living standards"
Explanation: The original phrase is vague and informal. The revision uses a more precise and formal term, enhancing the academic tone.
"developing the health standard in global perspective" -> "advancing global health standards"
Explanation: The original phrase is awkward and verbose. The revision simplifies and clarifies the language, making it more suitable for academic writing.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the role of science in improving people’s lives, which aligns with the statement presented. The introduction sets the stage for the discussion, and the body paragraphs provide examples of scientific contributions, such as those by Isaac Newton and organizations like NASA and WHO. However, the essay could benefit from a clearer acknowledgment of the opposing viewpoint or a more nuanced discussion of the extent to which science should prioritize improving lives, as the prompt asks for an evaluation of agreement or disagreement.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should explicitly state their position on the extent of agreement or disagreement in the introduction. Additionally, including a counterargument or acknowledging that not all scientific endeavors may directly aim to improve lives would provide a more balanced view and address all parts of the question more comprehensively.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position in favor of the statement, particularly in the conclusion where the writer expresses total agreement. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. For instance, the discussion of potential profit motives in scientific research introduces ambiguity about the writer’s stance, which could confuse readers regarding the overall position.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently link back to their main argument in each paragraph. Phrases that reiterate the importance of science in improving lives can be included at the beginning or end of paragraphs. Additionally, avoiding contradictory statements about profit motives would help clarify the writer’s stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the impact of science on daily life, such as advancements in technology and health. However, the support for these ideas is sometimes weak or unclear. For example, the mention of devices like "sensible light" and "automatic doors" lacks specific context or explanation of how these relate to the improvement of living standards. The examples given could be more effectively linked to the main argument.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should ensure that each example is clearly connected to the thesis. Providing specific details about how scientific advancements have tangibly improved lives or discussing the implications of these advancements would enhance the depth of the argument. Additionally, using more precise language and avoiding vague terms would improve clarity.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the role of science in improving lives. However, there are moments where the discussion veers slightly off-topic, such as the mention of profit motives and the assertion that organizations like NASA and WHO are not primarily profit-driven. This could distract from the main argument about the importance of science.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports the central thesis. It may be helpful to outline the main points before writing to ensure that all content is relevant. Additionally, limiting discussions on tangential issues, such as the financial aspects of scientific organizations, would help keep the essay tightly focused on the prompt.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents relevant examples, addressing the areas for improvement outlined above would enhance clarity, coherence, and depth, potentially raising the band score for Task Response.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument that science should aim to improve people’s lives, with examples from historical figures like Isaac Newton and organizations like NASA and WHO. However, the organization of ideas could be enhanced. For instance, the transition from discussing Newton to NASA feels abrupt, and the connection between the two could be made clearer. The introduction sets the stage but lacks a strong thesis statement that clearly outlines the main points to be discussed.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using a more structured approach in the introduction by explicitly stating the main arguments that will be explored in the essay. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, perhaps by using linking phrases that connect the ideas, such as "In addition to historical contributions, modern organizations like NASA also play a crucial role…"
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness varies. The first paragraph introduces the topic but could be more focused. The second paragraph discusses examples of scientific contributions but lacks a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph. The conclusion reiterates the main point but does not summarize the key arguments made in the body paragraphs.
- How to improve: Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea. For example, the second paragraph could start with a sentence like, "The contributions of notable scientists have significantly advanced our understanding of the world, as seen in the work of Isaac Newton." Additionally, ensure that each paragraph contains a balance of evidence and explanation, reinforcing the main argument.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however" and "moreover," but their use is somewhat limited. There are instances of awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that disrupt the flow, such as "which is considered to us as the most basic things in modern world." This can confuse the reader and detract from the overall coherence of the essay.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "furthermore," "in contrast," and "for example." Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and clarity in phrasing. For instance, instead of saying "the most basic things in modern world," it would be clearer to say "the fundamental principles that underpin modern science." Regular practice with sentence structure and cohesion will enhance the overall readability of the essay.

By addressing these areas, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, ultimately leading to a stronger overall score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of vocabulary related to science and its impact on human life. Phrases such as "living standard," "natural occurrence," and "contribution" indicate a reasonable range. However, the vocabulary is often repetitive and lacks sophistication. For example, the phrase "the most crucial criteria for science" could be more effectively expressed with alternatives like "the primary objective of science" or "the fundamental goal of scientific inquiry."
- How to improve: To enhance lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and varied expressions. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "science," they could use terms like "scientific research," "scientific endeavors," or "scientific advancements." Reading more academic texts and practicing paraphrasing can help in this regard.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: There are instances of imprecise vocabulary usage that detract from the clarity of the essay. For example, the phrase "to raised humanity’s living standard" should be "to raise humanity’s living standard." Additionally, "hundred of hours on the smallest natural occurence" is vague; it would be clearer to specify what types of natural occurrences are being referred to. The term "comfortability" is also incorrect; "comfort" is the appropriate noun.
- How to improve: Writers should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys their intended meaning. This can be achieved by reviewing definitions and contexts of words before using them. Additionally, utilizing tools like thesauruses can help find more precise words. Practicing writing with feedback can also aid in recognizing and correcting imprecise language.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that impact readability and professionalism. Examples include "lifes" instead of "lives," "ISaac" instead of "Isaac," "wast" instead of "waste," and "soued" instead of "sounded." These errors suggest a lack of attention to detail and can detract from the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a proofreading strategy. This could involve reading the essay aloud to catch errors or using spell-check tools. Additionally, keeping a list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can be beneficial. Regular writing practice, along with feedback from peers or instructors, can also help in identifying and correcting spelling mistakes.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic and attempts to use a range of vocabulary, improvements in lexical variety, precision, and spelling accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on these areas will enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 5

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some attempt at using a variety of sentence structures, such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Although not all individuals can linked themselves on to the importance of those simple research, but their contribution in the recent production of vehicles or facilities cannot be denied" attempts a complex structure. However, the overall range is limited, and many sentences are either overly simplistic or awkwardly constructed. Phrases like "the most crucial criteria for science is to raised humanity’s living standard" show a lack of variety and incorrect verb forms, which detracts from the overall effectiveness of the argument.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, the writer should practice combining shorter sentences into more complex ones and using a mix of different sentence types. For example, instead of saying "Science is known and taught to have their myriad forms," the writer could say, "Science encompasses myriad forms, each with distinct approaches and goals." This not only improves variety but also enhances clarity. Engaging with more complex grammatical structures, such as relative clauses or conditional sentences, can also help elevate the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity and coherence. For instance, "to raised humanity’s living standard" uses the incorrect form of the verb "raise," which should be "raise." Additionally, phrases like "ISaac Newton" contain capitalization errors, and "hundred of hours on the smallest natural occurence" should be "hundreds of hours on the smallest natural occurrences." Punctuation errors, such as the missing commas in "Throughout many years , famous scientists," disrupt the flow of reading and can confuse the reader.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on written work can help identify and correct common errors. Furthermore, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas and periods, will enhance the overall readability of the essay. Reading well-written essays can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation in context, aiding in the development of these skills.

In summary, while the essay presents a relevant argument regarding the role of science in improving lives, significant improvements in grammatical range and accuracy are necessary to achieve a higher band score. Focusing on sentence variety, grammatical correctness, and punctuation will greatly enhance the clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

It was stated that the most crucial criterion for science is to raise humanity’s living standards. Science is recognized and taught to encompass various forms, with all forms having different approaches and goals. This essay will discuss the aspects of science on people’s lives.

Throughout many years, famous scientists have spent hundreds of hours studying the smallest natural occurrences, which have become widely accepted facts today. For instance, almost everybody understands the existence of gravity, or more advanced formulas like “E=mc².” However, Isaac Newton, a renowned physicist, spent his whole life contemplating, researching, and imparting all of that knowledge, which is considered fundamental to us in the modern world. Although not all individuals can link themselves to the importance of this simple research, their contributions to the recent production of vehicles or facilities cannot be denied. We have sensible lighting, automatic doors, or even the Newton meter, etc. All these devices that enhance our convenience and comfort are improvements that science has made in raising living standards.

Moreover, NASA space research and the World Health Organization (WHO) have conducted various studies about the environment on different planets or bacteria, researching only for publication to help raise individuals’ awareness relating to health and understanding of space. Some people might say those organizations waste resources to earn profits, but the amount they earn, as what is referred to as profit, is rarely higher than the amount they invest in facilities and work. Therefore, if the conclusion of science for benefits was made, it may not be convincing since they participate more in improving living qualities rather than in generating income.

In conclusion, I totally agree with this statement since scientific research and participation have always created revolutions in our lives and advanced global health standards.