The pictures below show how ketchup is made.

The pictures illustrate the steps involved in producing ketchup and the process ketchup goes through before being used in a meal.
Overall, the process consists of 15 steps, begining with the tomatoes being harvested and closing with bottle of finished tomatoes used in meals. Additionally, there are 2 main stages, which are preparing tomatoes and cooking tomato sauce.
According to the diagram, the frist stage starting with tomatoes collection and then tomatoes are classified based on quality, fruits that do not meet standards will be eliminated. In the next step, the tomatoes are sent, then the stalk, seeds and skin are removed from the tomatoes. After putting in the container, the tomatoes are crushed.
The following stage is that adding some seasoning such as sugar, vinegar and salt to make flavour. In the next step, the mixture is boiled and then cooled for two hours, at the time it has become ketchup, after being poured into bottle, ketchup is labeled and goes through a quality control process. Finally, each bottle is put in cartons and delivered to the supermarket before becoming a part of the meal with hamburger and fries.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"begining" -> "commencing"
Explanation: Replacing "begining" with "commencing" elevates the vocabulary level and adds sophistication to the sentence.
"frist" -> "first"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling error from "frist" to "first" ensures accuracy in the text.
"flavour" -> "flavor"
Explanation: While both "flavour" and "flavor" are acceptable spellings, "flavor" is more commonly used in American English, which may be preferred for consistency.
"putting in" -> "placed into"
Explanation: Replacing "putting in" with "placed into" provides a more formal and precise description of the action.
"ketchup is labeled" -> "ketchup is labelled"
Explanation: In British English, "labelled" is the preferred spelling, providing consistency in language usage.
"cartons" -> "packages"
Explanation: "Packages" is a more general term and can include various types of containers, offering a broader description than "cartons."
"hamburger and fries" -> "hamburgers and fries"
Explanation: Pluralizing "hamburger" to "hamburgers" ensures grammatical correctness, as it refers to multiple burgers.
"a part of" -> "an accompaniment to"
Explanation: Replacing "a part of" with "an accompaniment to" adds variety to the language and enriches the description of how ketchup is used with hamburger and fries.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

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Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately addresses the task by describing the steps involved in producing ketchup. It provides an overview of the process, mentioning 15 steps and 2 main stages, which include preparing tomatoes and cooking tomato sauce. Key features such as tomato classification, removal of stalk, seeds, and skin, as well as the addition of seasoning, boiling, cooling, bottling, labeling, and quality control, are highlighted. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate, such as the mention of "finished tomatoes" instead of finished ketchup. Additionally, the organization could be improved for better coherence and clarity.
How to improve:
To improve, ensure all details are accurate and relevant. Use clearer language and correct any grammatical errors for better comprehension. Also, organize the essay in a more structured manner to enhance coherence and flow. Provide more specific descriptions of each step in the ketchup-making process for a more comprehensive overview.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents the steps involved in producing ketchup in a somewhat logical sequence, starting from the harvesting of tomatoes to the final packaging and delivery. There is an attempt to organize the information coherently, although there are instances of unclear progression, such as the mention of "15 steps" without further elaboration on each step. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat effective, although there are instances of mechanical cohesion, such as repetitive use of certain phrases like "the next step." Additionally, the paragraphing is somewhat logical, with clear central topics within each paragraph, although it could be improved for better clarity and organization.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, provide clearer progression of the steps involved in the ketchup-making process, ensuring that each step is clearly outlined and linked to the next. Avoid repetitive use of phrases and vary sentence structures for better cohesion. Ensure that referencing and substitution are clear and appropriate throughout the essay. Additionally, consider restructuring paragraphs for better logical organization and flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the basic steps involved in the ketchup-making process. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary such as "classify," "seasoning," and "quality control." However, there are inaccuracies and inconsistencies in word choice and collocation throughout the essay. For instance, "begining" should be "beginning," "frist" should be "first," and "fruits" should be "fruit." Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, such as "the process ketchup goes through" instead of "the process through which ketchup goes." Overall, while the essay communicates the main points, there is room for improvement in lexical accuracy and precision.

How to improve:

Review and correct spelling and word formation errors.
Use more precise and accurate vocabulary where possible.
Pay attention to collocation and word choice to enhance coherence and clarity.
Aim for consistency in language use throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is indicative of a Band 6 level. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as misspellings ("begining," "frist"), missing articles ("the process," "the frist stage"), and incorrect word choices ("frist," "bottle of finished tomatoes"). The attempt at complex sentences is evident, but their accuracy is compromised, especially in phrases like "the tomatoes are classified based on quality, fruits that do not meet standards will be eliminated," where the sentence structure is awkward. Additionally, there are punctuation errors and faulty sentence structures ("at the time it has become ketchup" should be "by the time it becomes ketchup"). These errors impede communication to some extent and cause difficulties for the reader.

How to improve: Focus on improving sentence structures and grammar accuracy. Review the proper use of articles, verb tenses, and sentence connectors. Pay attention to punctuation rules, especially regarding comma usage and sentence boundaries. Proofread the essay carefully to correct spelling mistakes and ensure clarity and coherence in expression.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided visuals delineate the sequential phases in the production of ketchup, from the initial processing of tomatoes to the packaging of the final product ready for consumption. Overall, the process encompasses 15 distinct steps, commencing with the harvesting of tomatoes and concluding with the bottling of the finished ketchup.

There are two primary stages evident in the process: tomato preparation and the cooking of tomato sauce. Initially, tomatoes are gathered and subsequently sorted based on their quality, with substandard fruits being discarded. Following this, the tomatoes undergo a series of procedures wherein stalks, seeds, and skins are removed before they are crushed and placed into containers.

Subsequently, various seasonings such as sugar, vinegar, and salt are incorporated to enhance flavor. The mixture is then subjected to boiling and subsequent cooling for a duration of two hours, resulting in the transformation of the mixture into ketchup. Afterward, the ketchup is dispensed into bottles, labeled, and subjected to a quality control assessment.

Finally, each bottle is packaged into cartons and dispatched to supermarkets, where it becomes an integral component of meals, often accompanying items such as hamburgers and fries.