The pie charts below show information about where coffee is produced, consumed & where its profit goes.

The charts illustrate the production, consumption of coffe in different region as well as the distribution of profit concerned
Overall, it is clearly that South America is where the most coffe is produced, while the highest consumption is recorded by Europe. In addition, shippers are the major beneficiary in terms of profit.
Regarding coffee production, South America accounts for a highest percentage is 44%, whereas only 2% is taken up by Oceania. The percentage of produced coffee in Africa, Asia, Central America have a similar figure is 19%, 18% and 17% respectively. In terms of coffee consumption rate, there is 55% amount coffee is used by the Europen. Following this, North America where consuming 11% of total in comparison to 7% of the Japanese. Approximate a out of three is recorded by other regions.
In the remaining category, so-called “profit goes”, shipper occupy the highest proportion of financial return at 55%. With 25% income is recorded by seller, becoming the second level. Finally, the percentage profit goes of explorer is akin to producer, at 10%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"coffe" -> "coffee"
Explanation: The correct spelling of the beverage is "coffee," with two ‘e’s.
"is where the most coffe is produced" -> "is the region where the highest coffee production occurs"
Explanation: Using "is the region where the highest coffee production occurs" provides a more formal and precise of the production location.
"shippers are the major beneficiary" -> "shippers are the primary beneficiaries"
Explanation: "Primary beneficiaries" is a more sophisticated term that conveys the idea that shippers receive the most profit.
"accounts for a highest percentage is 44%" -> "accounts for the highest percentage, which is 44%"
Explanation: Adding a comma after "highest percentage" and restructuring the sentence enhances clarity and formal tone.
"is taken up by Oceania" -> "is attributed to Oceania"
Explanation: "Attributed to" is a more formal and appropriate term to indicate the percentage of coffee production in Oceania.
"have a similar figure is" -> "have similar figures of"
Explanation: Using "have similar figures of" maintains parallel structure and improves the flow of the sentence.
"amount coffee is used by the Europen" -> "amount of coffee is consumed by Europe"
Explanation: "Consumed by Europe" is a more accurate and formal way to express the consumption of coffee in the European region.
"where consuming 11% of total" -> "which consumes 11% of the total"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence to "which consumes 11% of the total" improves clarity and formal expression.
"Approximate a out of three" -> "Approximately one out of three"
Explanation: "Approximately one out of three" is a more precise and formal way to express the ratio mentioned.
"profit goes" -> "profit distribution"
Explanation: "Profit distribution" is a more appropriate term to describe how profits are allocated among different entities.
"shipper occupy the highest proportion" -> "shippers occupy the largest share"
Explanation: "Shippers occupy the largest share" is a more accurate and formal way to describe the proportion of profit received by shippers.
"income is recorded by seller" -> "income is attributed to sellers"
Explanation: Using "income is attributed to sellers" clarifies that sellers are the recipients of the income.
"the percentage profit goes of explorer" -> "the percentage of profit allocated to explorers"
Explanation: "The percentage of profit allocated to explorers" is a clearer and more formal way to describe the distribution of profits to explorers.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 5

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Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay generally addresses the task by discussing the production, consumption, and profit distribution of coffee in different regions. However, there are several inaccuracies and lack of clarity in the presentation of information. The overview is not clearly presented, and there are inconsistencies in the data provided.
How to improve: To improve, ensure that the information presented is accurate and relevant. Provide a clear overview of the main trends in the data without focusing too much on specific details. Make sure to highlight key features accurately and avoid irrelevant or inaccurate information. Additionally, work on structuring the essay in a more organized and coherent manner to enhance clarity and coherence.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay presents information about coffee production, consumption, and profit distribution but lacks coherence and clear progression. The organization of ideas is not logical, and there is no clear flow between paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is basic and sometimes inaccurate, leading to a lack of cohesion within and between sentences. The essay also lacks clear referencing and substitution, making it repetitive at times. Additionally, the paragraphing is confusing and does not follow a logical structure.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing ideas in a logical manner with a clear progression throughout the essay. Use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas and ensure a smooth flow of information. Make sure to reference and substitute information clearly to avoid repetition. Work on paragraphing to create a more structured and coherent essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of basic vocabulary and lacks variety in lexical resources. The language used is repetitive and lacks sophistication. There are errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation throughout the essay, which may cause strain for the reader. The essay lacks precision and flexibility in conveying meanings due to the limited range of vocabulary used.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider of words to convey ideas more effectively. They should aim to use more precise and appropriate vocabulary to enhance the clarity and sophistication of their writing. Additionally, paying attention to spelling and word formation errors will help improve the overall quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 4

Band Score: 4.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of structures with only rare use of subordinate clauses. There are some accurate structures, but errors predominate, and punctuation is often faulty. The essay lacks complexity in sentence forms and contains frequent grammatical errors that can cause difficulty for the reader.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex ones. Pay attention to punctuation and grammar rules to reduce errors that may impact the clarity of the essay. Additionally, proofreading for mistakes and practicing more complex sentence structures can help enhance the overall quality of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided pie charts depict data on coffee production, consumption, and profit distribution across various regions.

Overall, it is evident that South America leads in coffee production, Europe tops in consumption, and shippers are the primary beneficiaries in terms of profit distribution.

In terms of coffee production, South America holds the highest share at 44%, followed by Africa, Asia, and Central America with similar figures of 19%, 18%, and 17% respectively. Oceania lags behind with only a 2% share.

When it comes to coffee consumption, Europe consumes the most at 55%, followed by North America at 11% and Japan at 7%. Other regions collectively account for approximately one-third of the total consumption.

In the profit distribution category, shippers receive the largest share at 55%, followed by sellers at 25%. Explorers and producers share a similar percentage of profit at 10%.

Overall, the charts provide a clear overview of coffee production, consumption, and profit distribution trends across different regions.