The plan below shows a village in the UK in 2000 and now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The plan below shows a village in the UK in 2000 and now.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The map illustrates the transformations of a British village’s layouts between 2000 and now.
Overall, it is apparent that this village has undergone significant changes to become a more crowded residential area including the additions of amenities, the adjustments to streets and the removal of trees. In contrast, the main street and shops remain the same.
Regarding the north of the main street, new houses have been built and relocated along the enlarged side road. Moreover, during the period shown, both the restaurant and hotel have been demolished.
Considering the south of the main street, the pub and shoe factory have been reused which were adjacent to the newly-constructed playground. In addition, farmland and farm have been removed to make room for the construction of households which have been located in a circular formation around a newly – added roundabout. However, the shops and main street have experienced no changes.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "the transformations of a British village’s layouts" -> "the transformations of the layout of a British village"
   Explanation: The phrase "the transformations of a British village’s layouts" is awkward and possessive. "The layout of a British village" is clearer and more concise, improving readability.

2. "it is apparent that this village has undergone significant changes" -> "it is evident that this village has undergone substantial changes"
   Explanation: "Evident" is a more formal and precise term than "apparent," and "substantial" conveys a stronger sense of magnitude than "significant," aligning better with academic tone.

3. "to become a more crowded residential area including the additions of amenities" -> "to become a denser residential area, including the addition of amenities"
   Explanation: "Denser" is a more precise term than "more crowded," which can carry negative connotations. "Addition" is more appropriate than "additions" in this context, as it refers to the overall concept rather than multiple instances.

4. "the adjustments to streets and the removal of trees" -> "the modifications to the street layout and the removal of trees"
   Explanation: "Modifications" is a more formal and precise term than "adjustments," and "street layout" provides clarity about what is being modified.

5. "the pub and shoe factory have been reused which were adjacent to the newly-constructed playground" -> "the pub and shoe factory have been repurposed, located adjacent to the newly constructed playground"
   Explanation: "Repurposed" is a more precise term than "reused," as it implies a change in function. The phrase "located adjacent to" clarifies the relationship between the pub, shoe factory, and playground.

6. "farmland and farm have been removed" -> "farmland and the farm have been removed"
   Explanation: Adding "the" before "farm" clarifies that it refers to a specific farm, improving grammatical accuracy.

7. "to make room for the construction of households which have been located in a circular formation around a newly – added roundabout" -> "to make room for the construction of residences, which are arranged in a circular formation around a newly added roundabout"
   Explanation: "Residences" is a more formal term than "households," and "are arranged" provides clarity regarding the current state of the residences. The removal of the space before the hyphen in "newly-added" corrects formatting.

8. "However, the shops and main street have experienced no changes." -> "However, the shops and the main street have undergone no changes."
   Explanation: "Undergone" is a more formal alternative to "experienced," enhancing the academic tone of the sentence. Adding "the" before "main street" maintains consistency in the phrasing.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main changes in the village, including the addition of new houses, the removal of some buildings, and the conversion of farmland to housing. The essay also highlights some key features, such as the new roundabout and the playground. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the pub and shoe factory have been reused, but the image shows that they have been demolished.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed information about the changes in the village. For example, the essay could mention the number of new houses that have been built, the size of the new roundabout, and the location of the playground. The essay could also be improved by avoiding irrelevant or inaccurate details. For example, the essay should not state that the pub and shoe factory have been reused if the image shows that they have been demolished.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs. The main features of the village’s transformation are highlighted, and comparisons are made between the past and present layouts. However, while cohesive devices are used effectively, there are moments where cohesion between sentences may feel mechanical or slightly forced. Additionally, paragraphing is present but could be more logically structured to enhance clarity. For example, the transition between discussing the north and south of the main street could be smoother.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the essay could benefit from more varied and sophisticated cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas. Ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that transitions between paragraphs are more fluid would enhance coherence. Additionally, providing more detailed comparisons and explanations of the changes would strengthen the overall argument and organization of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task, with some attempts to use less common lexical items, such as "transformation," "amenities," and "adjacent." However, there are instances of inaccuracy in word choice and phrasing, such as "the adjustments to streets" which could be more precisely articulated. Additionally, there are minor errors in spelling and word formation, such as "newly – added" which should be "newly-added" (without the space). These issues do not severely impede communication but do indicate a need for improvement in lexical precision and control.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary range and ensuring the accuracy of word choice and collocations. Practicing the use of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary in context can help. Additionally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will improve clarity and professionalism in the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of a Band 6 performance. While it communicates the main features of the map effectively, there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that detract from the overall clarity. For instance, phrases like "the transformations of a British village’s layouts" and "the construction of households which have been located in a circular formation" could be more clearly expressed. Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as the unnecessary space before the hyphen in "newly – added roundabout." These errors, while not severely impeding communication, do indicate that the writer has room for improvement in grammatical accuracy and range.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy by proofreading for common errors and awkward constructions. Increasing the variety of sentence structures used, particularly by incorporating more complex sentences with subordinate clauses, would also help. Additionally, ensuring that punctuation is consistently correct will improve the overall readability of the essay. Engaging with more complex vocabulary and varying sentence lengths can further enhance the grammatical range and accuracy.

Bài sửa mẫu

The map illustrates the transformations of a British village’s layout between 2000 and the present day. Overall, it is evident that this village has undergone significant changes, evolving into a more densely populated residential area, which includes the addition of amenities, adjustments to streets, and the removal of trees. In contrast, the main street and shops have remained unchanged.

In the northern section of the main street, new houses have been constructed and relocated along the widened side road. Furthermore, during the period depicted, both the restaurant and hotel have been demolished.

In the southern area of the main street, the pub and shoe factory have been repurposed, situated next to the newly constructed playground. Additionally, farmland and a farm have been removed to accommodate the construction of residential houses, which are arranged in a circular formation around a newly added roundabout. However, the shops and main street have experienced no alterations.