The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The map demonstrates the layout of a library’s ground floor in 2001 and after being renovated in 2009.
Overall, the entrance area with the librarian’s desk remained the same, while the ground floor witnessed a significant enhancement in the range of books and amenities to cater to more readers.
Beginning with the left-hand side of the layout, where the book area was located. Originally, there were only self-help and history books, but after being developed, more books were integrated, for example, fiction, kitchen, economics, and law.
The right-hand side of the layout, which used to be the newspaper & periodicals area, was replaced by the films & DVDs area. Corresponding with the technological advancement, a new computer area was added in proximity to this area.
On the opposite side of the entrance, the fiction area was shifted to make room for a huge range of tables, next to the law area in the corner. After renovations, eight single tables, originally situated in the middle of the layout, were incorporated into four long tables. Between tables, close to the economics area, a new children's area, allowing more parents to visit.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"The map demonstrates" -> "The map illustrates"
Explanation: "Illustrates" is a more precise and formal term often used in academic or technical writing to describe a visual representation, such as a map.
"layout of a library’s ground floor" -> "floor plan of a library"
Explanation: "Floor plan" is a more specific and commonly used term to describe the arrangement of spaces on a floor, which is what the map likely represents.
"significant enhancement" -> "considerable improvement"
Explanation: "Considerable improvement" is a more descriptive and precise term, conveying a stronger sense of positive change.
"range of books and amenities" -> "variety of books and facilities"
Explanation: "Variety" and "facilities" are more inclusive terms than "range" and "amenities," respectively, providing a clearer description of the library’s offerings.
"to cater to more readers" -> "to accommodate a larger audience"
Explanation: "Accommodate a larger audience" is a more formal and specific way to describe the purpose of the enhancements, emphasizing the increased capacity.
"Beginning with the left-hand side" -> "Starting from the left-hand side"
Explanation: "Starting from" is a more natural way to begin a description of a visual layout, providing a smoother transition into the details.
"where the book area was located" -> "where the book section was situated"
Explanation: "Section" is a more specific term for a designated area within a space, which is what the "book area" likely represents.
"but after being developed" -> "but after the renovation"
Explanation: "Renovation" is a more appropriate term for the process of improving or enhancing a space, as opposed to "developed," which is less specific.
"integrated, for example, fiction, kitchen, economics, and law" -> "expanded to include genres such as fiction, culinary arts, economics, and law"
Explanation: "Expanded to include genres" provides a clearer description of the types of books added, and "culinary arts" is more specific than "kitchen."
"the right-hand side of the layout, which used to be the newspaper & periodicals area" -> "the former newspaper & periodicals area on the right-hand side of the layout"
Explanation: Rearranging the phrase provides a more logical flow and clarity to the description of the layout change.
"Corresponding with the technological advancement" -> "In line with technological advancements"
Explanation: "In line with" is a more idiomatic expression to indicate alignment or agreement with something, in this case, technological advancements.
"area was added in proximity to this area" -> "area was added adjacent to this section"
Explanation: "Adjacent" is a more precise term for indicating closeness or proximity, enhancing the clarity of the sentence.
"fiction area was shifted" -> "fiction section was relocated"
Explanation: "Relocated" is a more formal and specific term for describing the movement of the fiction section within the library.
"huge range of tables" -> "wide array of tables"
Explanation: "Wide array" is a more descriptive and formal term than "huge range," providing a clearer picture of the number and variety of tables.
"Between tables, close to the economics area" -> "Between tables, adjacent to the economics section"
Explanation: "Adjacent to" is a more precise term for indicating the location of the children’s area in relation to the economics section, enhancing clarity.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 8

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Band Score: 8

Explanation: The essay meets the criteria for a Band 8. It covers all the requirements of the task sufficiently, presenting a clear and well-organized description of the changes made to the library’s ground floor from 2001 to 2009. The essay clearly identifies the changes in the layout, including new sections, modified arrangements, and expansions in specific areas. It also makes relevant comparisons where needed, providing a comprehensive overview of the library’s redevelopment.

How to improve: To reach a Band 9, the essay could offer even more detail and a deeper exploration of the changes, perhaps by emphasizing the reasons behind these alterations or the impact they had on library visitors. Additionally, a more thorough presentation of the key features, highlighting any notable aspects or additional information, could further strengthen the response.
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Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information, presenting a clear overview of the changes in the library’s layout from 2001 to 2009. The introduction sets the context effectively, summarizing the key changes. Each paragraph focuses on different areas of the library, detailing the modifications made over the years. There is a clear progression from discussing the left-hand side to the right-hand side and then to the opposite side of the entrance, maintaining coherence throughout the essay. Additionally, cohesive devices such as transition words ("Beginning with", "On the opposite side", "After renovations") help in guiding the reader through the changes. The central topic within each paragraph is evident, with a focus on specific areas of the library.

How to improve: To enhance coherence further, consider providing more explicit comparisons between the original layout in 2001 and the renovated layout in 2009. While the changes are described well, emphasizing the differences between the two layouts could strengthen the analysis. Additionally, ensure consistent use of cohesive devices throughout the essay to maintain smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It effectively describes the changes in the layout of the library, utilizing terms like "renovated," "enhancement," "integrated," and "incorporated." There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary such as "proximity," "corresponding," and "advancement." However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward word choices, like "the book area," which could be more specific, and "huge range of tables," which lacks precision. Additionally, there are minor errors in word formation and spelling, such as "law area" instead of "law section." Overall, while the vocabulary is adequate, there is room for improvement in accuracy and precision.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary. Instead of generic terms like "book area," specify the types of books, like "reference section" or "fiction shelves." Be cautious with word choice to ensure accuracy and avoid ambiguity. Proofreading for spelling and word formation errors can further improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, strive for smoother integration of less common vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of expression.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is characteristic of Band 6. There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence forms to convey information effectively. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the essay, albeit they do not significantly hinder communication. For instance, the phrase "more books were integrated, for example, fiction, kitchen, economics, and law" could be improved for clarity and precision. Additionally, there are minor punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on refining sentence structures to include a more diverse range of complex sentences. Additionally, pay close attention to grammar and punctuation to minimize errors. Reviewing and editing the essay for clarity and precision would also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagrams illustrate the ground floor layout of a library in 2001 and its redevelopment in 2009. Overall, the entrance area, including the librarian’s desk, remained unchanged, while significant improvements were made to accommodate a broader selection of books and facilities to cater to a larger audience.

Initially, the left-hand section of the layout housed self-help and history books. However, following the redevelopment, the book collection was expanded to include additional genres such as fiction, kitchen, economics, and law.

On the right-hand side, the previous newspaper and periodicals area was replaced with a section dedicated to films and DVDs. Additionally, in line with technological advancements, a new computer area was introduced in close proximity.

Opposite the entrance, the fiction area was relocated to accommodate a greater number of tables, with a significant portion adjacent to the law section. Post-renovation, the layout was modified to include four long tables, replacing the original eight single tables that were centrally positioned. Moreover, a children’s area was incorporated between the tables, adjacent to the economics section, facilitating more visits from parents.