The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

The plans graphically illustrate the transformations that occurred in the airport now and after redevelopment. Overall, it is clear that the airport will undergo a radical change with the addition, relocation, and replacement of various facilities.
At present, the security passport control corresponds to the departures. There is a check-in on the left and a café on the top right. Similarly, the passport control customs correspond to the arrivals. However, it’s still a blank space. Moreover, there is a walkway with eight gates behind the airport.
After the development, the airport will be changed a lot. The departures will add one more entrance. The check-in will be repositioned to the right, and a bag drop will be built to that location. Besides, the café will be relocated to the bottom left corner. Similarly, the arrivals will also add one more entrance and there will be more facilities erected to fill the blank space. A café and an ATM will be constructed to the right. Especially, there will be a small space for car hire in the bottom right corner. Moreover, the walkway behind the airport will be demolished and renovated into a sky train. Besides, its space will be widened to the top left and top right, and there will be more gates added.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"graphically illustrate" -> "visually depict"
Explanation: "Visually depict" is a more formal and precise phrase that conveys the idea of representing information through graphics or diagrams.
"occurred in" -> "will occur in"
Explanation: Changing "occurred in" to "will occur in" maintains consistency with the future tense used throughout the essay, describing the changes that will happen in the airport.
"Overall, it is clear that" -> "Overall, it is evident that"
Explanation: "Evident" is a more sophisticated synonym for "clear," adding emphasis to the assertion that the changes in the airport are noticeable and apparent.
"redevelopment" -> "redevelopment process"
Explanation: Adding "process" clarifies that the term refers to the ongoing or planned activities related to redevelopment, enhancing precision in the description.
"corresponds to" -> "pertains to"
Explanation: "Pertains to" is a more formal and precise phrase to indicate a relationship or connection between elements, such as the alignment of security passport control with departures.
"However, it’s still a blank space." -> "However, there remains an empty area."
Explanation: "Empty area" is a more specific term that avoids the ambiguity of "blank space" and enhances clarity in describing the current state of the airport layout.
"After the development" -> "Following the redevelopment"
Explanation: "Following the redevelopment" provides a more precise and formal transition to describe the changes that will occur in the airport layout.
"will be changed a lot" -> "will undergo significant changes"
Explanation: "Undergo significant changes" is a more concise and sophisticated way to express the extent of transformation expected in the airport.
"repositioned to" -> "moved to"
Explanation: "Moved to" is a simpler and more direct alternative to "repositioned to," maintaining clarity in describing the relocation of the check-in area.
"erected" -> "constructed"
Explanation: "Constructed" is a more precise term for building facilities, providing a clearer description of the actions taken to fill the empty space in the arrivals area.
"demolished and renovated" -> "demolished and transformed"
Explanation: "Transformed" is a more encompassing term than "renovated," indicating a comprehensive alteration of the walkway into a sky train.
"widened to" -> "expanded to"
Explanation: "Expanded to" better communicates the extension of space in the top left and top right areas of the airport layout, offering a more vivid description of the changes.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the requirements of the task by describing the current layout of the airport and the proposed changes after redevelopment. It presents an overview with information appropriately selected, such as the current and future locations of key facilities like check-in, café, and gates. Key features are highlighted, such as additional entrances, relocation of facilities, and the introduction of new amenities like an ATM and car hire space.

How to improve: To improve, the essay could provide more detail and clarity in certain areas. For instance, instead of stating "it’s still a blank space," it would be beneficial to specify what type of facility or area is intended for that space. Additionally, providing more specific information about the size and capacity of the new facilities or the extent of the renovations would enhance the description. Finally, ensuring accuracy and coherence in the presentation of details will strengthen the overall effectiveness of the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently, illustrating the current state of the airport and the proposed changes. There is a clear overall progression from the description of the current layout to the proposed redevelopment. However, there are some issues with cohesion within and between sentences. For instance, some sentences lack clear transitions, and the use of cohesive devices could be more varied. Additionally, there are instances where referencing could be clearer, such as when referring to specific locations within the airport. Paragraphing is used, but not always logically, as some ideas could be better grouped together for smoother flow.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices consistently throughout the essay, ensuring that each sentence flows logically to the next. Clarify referencing to improve the connection between ideas and locations within the airport. Also, refine paragraphing by grouping related ideas together more effectively to create a smoother progression of thought.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, incorporating terms like "transformations," "redevelopment," "repositioned," "erected," and "renovated." The writer attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "erected" and "repositioned," showing some effort to vary word choice. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the departures will add one more entrance" which could be improved for clarity ("one more entrance for departures will be added"). Additionally, some phrases lack precision, like "the airport will be changed a lot," which could be refined for greater specificity. There are also errors in word formation and spelling, such as "check-in on the left" instead of "check-in desk on the left." These errors, while not impeding communication significantly, do affect the overall clarity and sophistication of the essay.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource, focus on refining word choice and collocation for greater precision and clarity. Pay attention to the accuracy of word formation and spelling to minimize errors. Additionally, aim to incorporate more varied and sophisticated vocabulary where appropriate, ensuring that it enhances rather than detracts from the overall coherence and fluency of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. It attempts to convey a clear message about the current and future state of the airport, utilizing various sentence structures. While some sentences are clear and error-free, there are noticeable grammatical errors and issues with punctuation throughout the essay. These errors occasionally affect the clarity of communication but do not significantly hinder understanding.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on enhancing sentence structures by incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence forms. Pay close attention to grammar rules and punctuation usage to minimize errors. Proofreading and revising the essay can help identify and correct any mistakes, ensuring smoother communication. Additionally, strive for consistency in tense usage and clarity in expression to enhance overall coherence.

Bài sửa mẫu

The diagrams depict the current layout of an airport and the proposed changes after redevelopment scheduled for the following year. Overall, it is evident that significant alterations are planned, involving the addition, relocation, and replacement of various airport facilities.

Currently, the security and passport control areas are situated adjacent to the departure gates. Positioned to the left is the check-in area, while a café occupies the upper right corner. Conversely, the passport control and customs facilities for arriving passengers remain absent, leaving an empty space. Additionally, there is a walkway with eight gates situated behind the airport.

Following the redevelopment, substantial modifications are set to take place. Departures will witness the addition of another entrance, while the check-in area will be relocated to the right, accompanied by the installation of a bag drop facility in that vicinity. Furthermore, the café will be moved to the lower left corner. Similarly, arrivals will also see the incorporation of an extra entrance, with various amenities planned to occupy the previously vacant area. Specifically, a café and an ATM will be constructed on the right side, alongside a designated space for car hire in the lower right corner. Moreover, the walkway behind the airport will be replaced by a sky train, with the space expanded towards the upper left and upper right corners, accommodating additional gates.