The process diagram details the steps by which pineapples are produced for sale. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The process diagram details the steps by which pineapples are produced for sale.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

This diagram illustrates the pineapple cultivation and production process. It is clear that this is a simple process with two main stages: growing and processing pineapples, through various steps from growing the fruit to producing it into suitable products.

Regarding the pineapple growth progress, each pineapple is crowned in the sunny weather with the ideal temperature from 28 to 30 degrees celsius. In the next 7 months, these fruits are watered by ethylene and are collected after the next 5 months when it weighs about 2 kg and height approximately 30 cm.

In terms of pineapple processing flow, we clean all the harvested pineapples firstly. After that, these fruits are categorized into three sizes. The smallest ones are peeled in order to extract them into pineapple juice. About the medium sized pineapple, they are peeled and sliced into smaller pieces and then packaged into canned fruit. While others are experienced a complex process, biggest pineapples are only waxed and then are arranged into containers and exported.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "pineapple growth progress" -> "pineapple cultivation process"
   Explanation: "Growth progress" is a bit redundant and lacks specificity. "Cultivation process" precisely describes the stages involved in growing pineapples.

2. "crowned in the sunny weather" -> "thriving in optimal sunlight"
   Explanation: "Crowned in the sunny weather" is an unusual phrase. "Thriving in optimal sunlight" conveys the idea more clearly and elegantly.

3. "ethylene" -> "irrigation"
   Explanation: "Ethylene" typically refers to a plant hormone rather than a method of watering. "Irrigation" is a more accurate term for watering crops.

4. "experienced a complex process" -> "undergo a complex process"
   Explanation: "Experienced" is not the most appropriate verb here. "Undergo" better captures the passive nature of the pineapples in the process.

5. "biggest pineapples are only waxed" -> "largest pineapples undergo a waxing process"
   Explanation: "Only waxed" sounds dismissive and lacks detail. "Undergo a waxing process" provides a clearer description of what happens to the largest pineapples.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the process involved in pineapple production, including the two main stages of growing and processing. The key features are presented and highlighted, with details provided about the growth conditions and the processing steps for different sizes of pineapples. The essay appropriately selects information to describe the stages, and key steps such as cleaning, categorizing, peeling, and packaging are mentioned. The overview is clear, and there is a logical flow to the description. However, it could be extended by providing more detailed information about certain steps or elaborating on the final stage of the production process.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, consider providing additional details on the production process, particularly regarding the processing and exportation stages. This could include describing any additional steps in the processing flow or giving more context about the final products and their intended markets. By enhancing the clarity and depth of these details, the response could be further developed and thus align more closely with the requirements for higher band scores.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay effectively arranges information about the pineapple cultivation and production process into two main stages: growing and processing. It provides a clear overview of each stage, outlining the key steps involved. The essay’s organization allows for a logical progression of ideas, transitioning smoothly between discussing pineapple growth and processing. However, there are some areas where cohesion could be improved. While cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences, there are instances where cohesion may be somewhat mechanical or faulty. For example, the transition between discussing pineapple growth and processing could be smoother. Additionally, there is room for improvement in terms of paragraphing. Although the essay is divided into paragraphs, their logical organization could be enhanced for better coherence.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on refining the transitions between different stages of the pineapple cultivation and production process. Ensure that cohesive devices are used seamlessly to connect ideas and maintain a clear flow of information. Additionally, consider restructuring paragraphs to ensure that each one contains a clear central topic and follows a logical progression of ideas. This will help improve the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering the process of pineapple cultivation and production. There is an attempt to incorporate some less common vocabulary, such as "crowned" and "ethylene," which enhances the lexical variety. However, there are some inaccuracies and inconsistencies in word choice and collocation, such as "growth progress" which could be better expressed as "growth process." Additionally, some sentences could be more concise and clearer, which would improve the lexical precision.

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary. Simplify complex expressions where possible to ensure clarity. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to enhance fluency and coherence. Review the essay for any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings that may affect the overall lexical quality.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex forms. There is some evidence of complex sentences, such as "In the next 7 months, these fruits are watered by ethylene and are collected after the next 5 months when it weighs about 2 kg and height approximately 30 cm." However, these complex structures are not consistently accurate, as seen in the lack of clarity in this sentence. There is an attempt to vary the sentence structure, but it lacks the full flexibility and accuracy required for higher bands.

While some grammatical errors are evident, such as "we clean all the harvested pineapples firstly" (should be "we first clean all the harvested pineapples"), they do not significantly hinder communication. Punctuation is used but could be improved for better clarity and flow.

How to improve:
To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on constructing more complex sentences with clearer structure and precise use of grammar. Aim for consistency in using a variety of sentence structures throughout the essay. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation to enhance readability and coherence. Regular practice in constructing sentences of varying complexity and reviewing grammar rules will be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided diagram delineates the pineapple cultivation and production process, showcasing a straightforward sequence with two primary stages: pineapple growth and processing, encompassing various steps from fruit cultivation to product manufacturing.

Concerning pineapple growth, each fruit undergoes crowning in optimal conditions, basking in sunny weather with temperatures ranging between 28 to 30 degrees Celsius. Over the subsequent 7 months, ethylene-fueled irrigation fosters fruit development until, approximately 5 months later, when each pineapple attains a weight of around 2 kg and a height of roughly 30 cm, they are harvested.

Transitioning to pineapple processing, the initial step involves the thorough cleaning of harvested pineapples. Subsequently, the fruits are sorted into three size categories. Smaller pineapples undergo peeling to facilitate extraction into pineapple juice. Medium-sized pineapples are peeled, sliced into smaller segments, and then packaged for sale as canned fruit. Meanwhile, larger pineapples undergo a streamlined process, being waxed and subsequently organized into containers for exportation.

Overall, the diagram succinctly illustrates the sequential progression of pineapple cultivation and processing, from growth to final product, highlighting the simplicity of the process with clear delineation of each stage.