The provided line graph illustrates the percentage of Australia's exports to four countries (Japan, the US, China, and India) spanning from 1990 to 2012.

It is evident that China emerged as the most prominent destination for Australian exports, experiencing a substantial increase in percentage over the specified period. Conversely, Japan, the US, and India demonstrated relatively stable trends with minor fluctuations.
Commencing with a substantial share of over 25% in 1990, Japan's export percentage experienced a rapid decline to approximately 20% by 1995, maintaining a steady decrease thereafter. Similarly, the US commenced with a lower percentage, approximately 12%, witnessing a slight increase to just over 11% by 2000.
In contrast, India began with a modest share, approximately 1%, steadily rising to nearly 10% by 2010 before declining to around 5% in 2012.
Notably, China, starting with a comparable share to India, underwent remarkable growth, increasing from about 1% to 5% by 2000 and soaring to 30% by 2012, marking it as the most significant contributor to Australian exports throughout the period under consideration.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Commencing" -> "Initiating"
Explanation: "Commencing" is a bit formal and less commonly used in contemporary language. "Initiating" serves as a more sophisticated alternative that maintains the intended meaning of starting or beginning.
"witnessing a slight increase" -> "observing a marginal increase"
Explanation: "witnessing" is slightly informal in this context. "Observing" is a more formal alternative. "Marginal" implies a small or slight increase, conveying the same meaning more precisely.
"steadily rising" -> "consistently ascending"
Explanation: While "steadily rising" is clear, "consistently ascending" adds a touch of formality and specificity to the trend, enhancing the overall sophistication of the description.
"underwent remarkable growth" -> "experienced remarkable expansion"
Explanation: While "underwent remarkable growth" is acceptable, "experienced remarkable expansion" adds variety and sophistication to the vocabulary, making the statement more engaging and precise.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by providing a clear overview of the main trends in Australia’s exports to four countries over the specified period. It presents a clear comparison of the percentage of exports to Japan, the US, China, and India, highlighting their respective trends with sufficient detail.
How to improve: To improve, the essay could extend its analysis by providing more specific details or comparisons, such as discussing the reasons behind China’s remarkable growth or exploring potential implications of these export trends on Australia’s economy. Additionally, ensuring the accuracy of data and avoiding repetition would further enhance the essay’s clarity and coherence.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information, presenting a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices, such as pronouns ("it," "this"), transition words ("conversely," "commencing," "similarly," "in contrast," "notably"), and reference words ("China," "Japan," "the US," "India"), appropriately linking ideas and maintaining coherence. Each paragraph focuses on a central topic related to the countries’ export percentages, demonstrating skillful paragraphing.
How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion further, ensure that cohesive devices are used consistently and accurately throughout the essay. Additionally, consider varying sentence structures to enhance the overall flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, allowing for flexibility and precision in conveying the information. There is effective use of vocabulary to describe trends and changes over time, such as "substantial increase," "rapid decline," "steady decrease," "remarkable growth," and "soaring." Additionally, less common lexical items like "commencing," "witnessing," and "underwent" are used appropriately, contributing to the overall effectiveness of the vocabulary. While there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "emerged as the most prominent destination" (which could be more precisely stated as "became the primary destination"), they do not significantly impede communication. Spelling and word formation are generally accurate.

How to improve:
To further enhance the lexical resource, strive for even greater precision and sophistication in word choice. Avoid vague or overused phrases like "It is evident that" and consider more specific language to introduce the main idea. Additionally, aim to incorporate a wider variety of complex lexical items and idiomatic expressions to elevate the vocabulary to a more advanced level. Finally, ensure consistency in spelling and word formation throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including varied sentence lengths and structures such as simple, compound, and complex sentences. The writer employs appropriate connectors to link ideas and transitions between sentences and paragraphs effectively. There are frequent error-free sentences, and the overall control of grammar and punctuation is good. However, there are a few minor errors and instances of awkward phrasing that slightly affect clarity.

How to improve: To further improve, the writer should focus on refining the accuracy of complex sentence structures and ensuring consistent clarity throughout the essay. Proofreading for minor errors and refining the phrasing to enhance coherence would enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The presented line graph delineates the proportion of Australia’s exports to four key nations (Japan, the US, China, and India) from 1990 to 2012.

It is apparent that China emerged as the predominant destination for Australian exports, experiencing a substantial escalation in percentage over the specified timeframe. Conversely, Japan, the US, and India demonstrated relatively stable trends with minor fluctuations.

Commencing with a substantial share of over 25% in 1990, Japan’s export percentage experienced a rapid decline to approximately 20% by 1995, maintaining a steady decrease thereafter. Similarly, the US commenced with a lower percentage, approximately 12%, witnessing a slight increase to just over 11% by 2000.

In contrast, India began with a modest share, approximately 1%, steadily rising to nearly 10% by 2010 before declining to around 5% in 2012.

Notably, China, starting with a comparable share to India, underwent remarkable growth, increasing from about 1% to 5% by 2000 and soaring to 30% by 2012, marking it as the most significant contributor to Australian exports throughout the period under consideration.

The provided line graph illustrates the percentage of Australia’s exports to four countries (Japan, the US, China, and India) spanning from 1990 to 2012.