The reason that most individuals are in debt is due to the overuse as well as irresponsible use of credit cards. Banks should not issue credit cards unless they are complete sure of an individual's ability to pay back their debits. To what extent do you agree with this?

Credit card debt is a significant problem in many societies nowadays, which may lead to financial stress and instability for individuals. Some people claim that the overuse and irresponsible use of credit card is primary factor result in this ever-growing issue and they believe that the bank should only issue credit card when they are fully confident about their individual's ability to repay the debt. I firmly concur with this viewpoint.
Firstly, it is undeniable that the misuse of credit card can lead to various debt issues. Uncontrolled money lending may cause a sense of spending in many peoples, in other words they tend to spend over their mean due to the misleading of financial knowledge. In fact, many individuals do not fully understand how interest rates work or the long-term consequences of credit card debt. Due to this, banks should ensure the payment capability of their clients before loan.
However, the limitation of using credit card is not a comprehensive solution. Credit cards have been becoming essential financial tool. They provide convenience and security which ensure online transactions and money storage. In terms of poor individuals, having money in their cards help them managing their finance and handling unexpected problem.
In condition, not only the bank, each person should take responsibility for their spending habit and I suppose that the authorities and school should make effort to providing financial education on spending, saving and responsible use of credit.
In conclusion, while banks are responsible for monitoring repay ability, governments, employers, schools also need to implement comprehensive approach to cultivate financial knowledge and responsibility in using credit card in each resident.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Credit card debt is a significant problem in many societies nowadays" -> "Credit card debt is a significant issue in many contemporary societies"
Explanation: Replacing "nowadays" with "contemporary" refines the tone to a more formal and precise academic style, enhancing the essay’s professionalism.
"the overuse and irresponsible use of credit card" -> "the overuse and misuse of credit cards"
Explanation: Correcting "credit card" to "credit cards" fixes the grammatical error, and replacing "irresponsible use" with "misuse" provides a more precise term that is commonly used in academic discourse.
"primary factor result in this ever-growing issue" -> "primary factor contributing to this growing issue"
Explanation: "Result in" is grammatically incorrect; "contributing to" is the correct phrase for indicating causation in formal writing. Also, "ever-growing" is redundant; "growing" is sufficient and more precise.
"I firmly concur with this viewpoint" -> "I strongly agree with this perspective"
Explanation: "Concur" is less commonly used in modern academic writing; "agree" is more straightforward and appropriate. "Perspective" is a more formal synonym for "viewpoint," enhancing the academic tone.
"misuse of credit card" -> "misuse of credit cards"
Explanation: Correcting "credit card" to "credit cards" for consistency and grammatical accuracy.
"Uncontrolled money lending may cause a sense of spending in many peoples" -> "Uncontrolled lending may lead to overspending among many individuals"
Explanation: "Sense of spending" is vague and incorrect; "overspending" is the correct term. "Many peoples" is grammatically incorrect; "many individuals" is the correct form.
"in other words they tend to spend over their mean" -> "in other words, they tend to exceed their means"
Explanation: "Mean" is incorrectly used here; "means" is the correct term for financial resources. "Exceed" is more precise than "spend over," which is colloquial.
"Due to this, banks should ensure the payment capability of their clients before loan." -> "Consequently, banks should verify the financial capability of their clients before lending."
Explanation: "Due to this" is informal; "Consequently" is more formal. "Ensure the payment capability" is awkward; "verify the financial capability" is clearer and more appropriate for formal writing. "Before loan" should be "before lending" for grammatical correctness.
"Credit cards have been becoming essential financial tool" -> "Credit cards have become essential financial tools"
Explanation: "Have been becoming" is grammatically incorrect; "have become" is the correct form. "Essential financial tool" should be plural to match "cards," and "tools" is the correct plural form.
"They provide convenience and security which ensure online transactions and money storage" -> "They offer convenience and security, ensuring secure online transactions and secure storage of funds"
Explanation: "Provide" is less formal; "offer" is more suitable for academic writing. "Which ensure" is grammatically incorrect; "ensuring" is the correct form. "Money storage" is vague; "storage of funds" is more precise and formal.
"In terms of poor individuals, having money in their cards help them managing their finance" -> "For low-income individuals, having funds in their cards helps them manage their finances"
Explanation: "In terms of poor individuals" is awkward and informal; "For low-income individuals" is more precise and formal. "Help them managing" is grammatically incorrect; "helps them manage" is correct. "Finance" should be plural to match "cards" and "funds" for consistency.
"In condition, not only the bank, each person should take responsibility" -> "In addition, not only the bank, but also each individual should take responsibility"
Explanation: "In condition" is incorrect; "In addition" is the correct transitional phrase. "Each person" should be "each individual" for formality and clarity. "Should take responsibility" is correct, but "but also" is necessary to correctly indicate the addition of another point.
"I suppose that the authorities and school should make effort to providing financial education" -> "I suggest that authorities and schools should make an effort to provide financial education"
Explanation: "I suppose" is less formal; "I suggest" is more appropriate for academic writing. "Make effort to providing" is awkward and grammatically incorrect; "make an effort to provide" is correct. "School" should be plural to match "authorities."
"In condition" -> "In addition"
Explanation: "In condition" is incorrect; "In addition" is the correct

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the overuse and irresponsible use of credit cards as a primary reason for debt. It acknowledges the role of banks in issuing credit cards based on an individual’s repayment ability. However, while the writer agrees with the statement, the essay could benefit from a more explicit exploration of the extent of this agreement. The phrase "I firmly concur with this viewpoint" is somewhat vague and does not clarify whether the writer believes banks should never issue credit cards or if there are conditions under which they should.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should clearly articulate their position on the extent of their agreement. For example, they could specify whether they believe banks should issue credit cards under certain conditions or if they should only do so after thorough assessments of financial literacy and repayment capability.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position initially, agreeing with the idea that banks should be cautious in issuing credit cards. However, the introduction of counterarguments regarding the necessity of credit cards and the responsibility of individuals dilutes the clarity of the position. The concluding statement also introduces new ideas about the roles of various stakeholders, which may confuse the reader about the main argument.
- How to improve: To maintain a clear position, the writer should consistently relate all points back to their main argument. They could use topic sentences that reinforce their stance and ensure that counterarguments are presented in a way that supports their overall position rather than detracting from it.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the dangers of credit card misuse and the need for financial education. However, some points lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the discussion about financial education is mentioned but not elaborated upon, leaving the reader wanting more detail on how this education could be implemented or its potential impact.
- How to improve: To strengthen the essay, the writer should provide more detailed examples and explanations for each point. For instance, they could discuss specific financial education programs or initiatives that have been successful in other contexts. Additionally, they could elaborate on the consequences of irresponsible credit card use with real-world examples or statistics.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on credit card debt and the responsibilities of banks and individuals. However, the introduction of the idea that credit cards are essential financial tools could be seen as a deviation from the main argument. This point, while relevant, could distract from the primary focus on the responsibilities of banks and individuals in managing credit.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that every point made directly supports their main argument. They could briefly acknowledge the benefits of credit cards but should quickly return to discussing the implications of their misuse and the responsibilities of banks and individuals in that context. This would help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, addressing the outlined areas for improvement could elevate the response to a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding credit card debt and the responsibilities of banks and individuals. The introduction effectively sets up the topic and the writer’s stance. However, the organization within paragraphs could be improved. For instance, the first body paragraph discusses the misuse of credit cards but lacks a clear transition to the second body paragraph, which shifts focus to the benefits of credit cards. This creates a slight disjointedness in the flow of ideas.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using topic sentences that clearly outline the main idea of each paragraph. Additionally, transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help signal shifts in argument or perspective, making the connections between ideas more explicit.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a strength. However, the paragraphs could be more effectively structured. For example, the first body paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on the problems caused by misuse and the other on the need for banks to assess repayment capabilities. This would allow for a more in-depth discussion of each point and improve clarity.
- How to improve: Aim for a clear structure within each paragraph, starting with a topic sentence followed by supporting details and examples. Ensure that each paragraph has a single focus. For instance, the discussion about the role of education could be expanded into its own paragraph to emphasize its importance.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Firstly" and "However," which help to connect ideas. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where cohesion could be improved. For example, the phrase "in condition" is unclear and disrupts the flow of the sentence.
- How to improve: To diversify cohesive devices, incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," and "Consequently." Additionally, ensure that all phrases used are clear and appropriate for the context. For instance, replacing "in condition" with "In this context" or "In this regard" would enhance clarity and cohesion.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, focusing on the organization of information, refining paragraph structure, and expanding the use of cohesive devices will help elevate the score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms like "financial stress," "instability," "misuse," and "convenience." However, there are instances where the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive or simplistic, such as the repeated use of "credit card" and "debt." The phrase "financial knowledge" is also used multiple times without variation, which detracts from the overall lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To enhance vocabulary range, consider using synonyms or related terms. For instance, instead of repeating "credit card," you could use "plastic," "credit facility," or "financial instrument." Additionally, varying expressions for "debt" could include "financial obligation" or "liability." Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to finance, such as "liquidity," "fiscal responsibility," or "creditworthiness," would also elevate the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains some imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, the phrase "primary factor result in this ever-growing issue" is awkward and lacks clarity. It would be more precise to say "the primary factor contributing to this ever-growing issue." Additionally, "in condition" is incorrect and should be replaced with "In this regard" or "In this situation."
- How to improve: Focus on clarity and correctness in word choice. Review phrases for grammatical accuracy and ensure that they convey the intended meaning. Using a thesaurus can help find more appropriate words, but be cautious to ensure that the chosen words fit the context accurately. Practicing paraphrasing sentences can also help improve precision.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors, such as "debits" instead of "debt," "complete sure" instead of "completely sure," and "providing" instead of "provide." These errors can distract the reader and detract from the overall professionalism of the writing.
- How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, it is advisable to proofread the essay carefully before submission. Utilizing spell-check tools and reading the essay out loud can help catch errors. Additionally, maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words and practicing them can improve overall spelling skills. Engaging in regular writing practice will also help reinforce correct spelling through repetition.

By addressing these areas of lexical resource, the essay can be improved significantly, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For example, the sentence "Credit card debt is a significant problem in many societies nowadays, which may lead to financial stress and instability for individuals" effectively combines a main clause with a relative clause. However, there is a noticeable reliance on basic sentence forms, and some sentences are awkwardly constructed, such as "the overuse and irresponsible use of credit card is primary factor result in this ever-growing issue," which lacks clarity and proper structure.
- How to improve: To enhance the range of structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences that include subordinate clauses and varied conjunctions. For instance, instead of saying "Credit cards have been becoming essential financial tool," the writer could say, "Credit cards have become essential financial tools, as they provide convenience and security for online transactions." Additionally, incorporating more varied sentence openings and transitions would improve the flow and coherence of the essay.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that detract from its overall clarity. For example, "the overuse and irresponsible use of credit card is primary factor result in this ever-growing issue" should be corrected to "the overuse and irresponsible use of credit cards are primary factors contributing to this ever-growing issue." There are also instances of incorrect article usage, such as "a significant problem in many societies nowadays," where "a" is appropriate, but "the" could also be used for specificity. Punctuation errors, such as missing commas and incorrect conjunctions, further complicate the readability of the essay.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, particularly in sentences with compound subjects, and ensure that plural nouns are correctly used (e.g., "credit cards" instead of "credit card"). Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, would be beneficial. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on sentence structure could help the writer gain confidence and accuracy in their writing.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a basic understanding of grammatical structures, there is room for improvement in both the variety of sentence forms and grammatical accuracy. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their overall writing quality and potentially achieve a higher band score in the IELTS assessment.

Bài sửa mẫu

Credit card debt is a significant issue in many contemporary societies, which can lead to financial stress and instability for individuals. Some people argue that the overuse and misuse of credit cards are primary factors contributing to this growing issue, and they believe that banks should only issue credit cards when they are fully confident in an individual’s ability to repay the debt. I strongly agree with this perspective.

Firstly, it is undeniable that the misuse of credit cards can lead to various debt problems. Uncontrolled lending may lead to overspending among many individuals; in other words, they tend to exceed their means due to a lack of financial knowledge. In fact, many individuals do not fully understand how interest rates work or the long-term consequences of credit card debt. Consequently, banks should verify the financial capability of their clients before lending.

However, restricting access to credit cards is not a comprehensive solution. Credit cards have become essential financial tools. They offer convenience and security, ensuring secure online transactions and safe storage of funds. For low-income individuals, having funds in their cards helps them manage their finances and handle unexpected problems.

In addition, not only the banks but also each individual should take responsibility for their spending habits. I suggest that authorities and schools should make an effort to provide financial education on spending, saving, and the responsible use of credit.

In conclusion, while banks are responsible for monitoring repayment ability, governments, employers, and schools also need to implement a comprehensive approach to cultivate financial knowledge and responsibility in the use of credit cards among all residents.