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The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons and is it a positive or negative development ?

The research indicates that nowadays some consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What are the reasons and is it a positive or negative development ?

Through a recent research, it has shown that advertising seemingly has less impact on consumers compared to the past. By which this phenomenon extent to the innovation in online shopping and deficiency in ideas of commercials, I believe that this is a positive development.

Advertising does not spectate fully each aspects of the product. However, with the engagement of technology, online shopping platforms and their supporting system are to be considered helping consumers shop in a more efficient way. In reality, by searching the product on the website, a thousand options will show up, varying in different prices and feedbacks. By diving into the honest reviews from past customers with real experience can be more relevant than a 30-second commercials along with that can assure your desire for the product. Producers have also gone less uninspired in their advertisements, majority of their ideas are lacking in uniqueness and eye-catching scenes which as a result do not succeed in catching the attention of potential customers.

Nevertheless, through majority of contexts, I believe that this is a beneficiary advantages toward consumers. To begin with, the percentage of people getting scammed online through short-cut videos will significantly abate. In the past, many scammers promoted their fake products through sweet lies and divinising them on social ads at the expense of consumers believing in them and allocate a fortune on those magical product to receive back a worthless one. Moreover, overconsumption and purchasing unnecessary product that will not come in use would not be an alarming problems, since people have become more diligent in what they buy and use.

In conclusion, the effectiveness rates of advertising declined due to the boost in number of shopping applications as well as shortcoming in concept ideas for commercial clips. By contrast, this served a postive development as the irreversable reduction in overconsumption and scamming.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Through a recent research" -> "According to recent research"
    Explanation: "According to recent research" is a more formal and precise way to introduce research findings, aligning better with academic style.

  2. "seemingly has less impact" -> "appears to have less impact"
    Explanation: "Appears to have" is a more academically appropriate phrase, enhancing the formality and precision of the statement.

  3. "By which this phenomenon extent to" -> "This phenomenon extends to"
    Explanation: "Extends to" is the correct verb form for the context, and removing "by which" simplifies and clarifies the sentence structure.

  4. "does not spectate fully each aspects" -> "does not fully encompass all aspects"
    Explanation: "Encompass" is the correct verb for describing the inclusion of all aspects, and "fully" is correctly placed before "encompass" for grammatical accuracy.

  5. "online shopping platforms and their supporting system" -> "online shopping platforms and their supporting systems"
    Explanation: "Systems" should be plural to match the plural noun "platforms," ensuring grammatical consistency.

  6. "a thousand options will show up" -> "a multitude of options will appear"
    Explanation: "A multitude of options" is a more formal and precise way to describe a large number of options, and "appear" is more appropriate than "show up" in formal writing.

  7. "diving into the honest reviews" -> "immersing oneself in the honest reviews"
    Explanation: "Immersing oneself" is a more formal and precise phrase than "diving into," which is colloquial.

  8. "a 30-second commercials" -> "30-second commercials"
    Explanation: "Commercials" should not be pluralized when referring to a single commercial.

  9. "gone less uninspired" -> "become less uninspired"
    Explanation: "Become" is the correct verb form to indicate a change in state, improving the grammatical accuracy.

  10. "majority of their ideas are lacking" -> "most of their ideas lack"
    Explanation: "Most of their ideas lack" is a more direct and formal way to express the same meaning.

  11. "beneficiary advantages" -> "beneficial advantages"
    Explanation: "Beneficial" is the correct adjective form to describe advantages that are advantageous.

  12. "percentage of people getting scammed" -> "percentage of individuals who are scammed"
    Explanation: "Individuals who are scammed" is more formal and precise than "people getting scammed."

  13. "sweet lies and divinising" -> "sweet lies and deceiving"
    Explanation: "Deceiving" is the correct term for describing false or misleading advertising, replacing the awkward and incorrect "divinising."

  14. "allocate a fortune on those magical product" -> "spend a fortune on such products"
    Explanation: "Spend a fortune on such products" is grammatically correct and more formal than "allocate a fortune on those magical product."

  15. "overconsumption and purchasing unnecessary product" -> "overconsumption and the purchase of unnecessary products"
    Explanation: "The purchase of unnecessary products" is grammatically correct and more formal than "purchasing unnecessary product."

  16. "would not be an alarming problems" -> "would not be a significant problem"
    Explanation: "A significant problem" is grammatically correct and more precise than "an alarming problems."

  17. "irreversable reduction" -> "irreversible reduction"
    Explanation: "Irreversible" is the correct adjective form to describe something that cannot be reversed.

  18. "served a postive development" -> "represented a positive development"
    Explanation: "Represented" is the correct verb to indicate that something signifies or embodies a particular quality or state, improving the sentence structure and meaning.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it discusses reasons for the decline in advertising influence and evaluates whether this is a positive or negative development. The author identifies online shopping innovations and a lack of creativity in advertisements as reasons for this decline. However, the explanation could be more comprehensive, as it briefly mentions these reasons without fully exploring their implications or providing sufficient examples.
    • How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should elaborate on each reason with more detailed examples or statistics that illustrate the impact of online shopping on consumer behavior. Additionally, a clearer connection between the reasons and their effects on consumer attitudes towards advertising would strengthen the argument.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that the decline in advertising effectiveness is a positive development. This stance is maintained throughout the essay, particularly in the second paragraph, where the author discusses the benefits of reduced influence from advertisements. However, the transition between discussing reasons and the evaluation of their positivity could be smoother.
    • How to improve: To improve clarity and coherence, the writer should use transitional phrases to guide the reader through the argument. For instance, explicitly linking the reasons for the decline in advertising influence to the positive outcomes would create a more cohesive narrative.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas, such as the efficiency of online shopping and the lack of creativity in advertisements. However, the support for these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, while the author mentions that online reviews are more trustworthy than commercials, there is no specific example or data to substantiate this claim.
    • How to improve: To strengthen the support for ideas, the writer should include specific examples, anecdotes, or data that illustrate the points made. For instance, citing studies that show consumer trust in online reviews compared to traditional advertising would provide a stronger foundation for the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the decline of advertising influence and its implications. However, there are moments where the discussion could be more focused. For instance, the mention of online scams could be better integrated into the overall argument about advertising’s decline rather than presented as a separate point.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that all points made directly relate back to the central thesis. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that ties back to the prompt, and any additional points should be clearly linked to the main argument.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a clear argument, it would benefit from deeper analysis, stronger examples, and improved coherence to achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear argument regarding the declining influence of advertising on consumers. The introduction outlines the main points, and the body paragraphs generally follow a logical progression. However, the transition between ideas could be smoother. For instance, the shift from discussing online shopping to the ineffectiveness of advertisements feels abrupt. The essay does make a valid point about the benefits of reduced advertising influence, but the connection between the points could be more explicitly stated.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases that clearly link ideas. For example, after discussing online shopping, you could introduce the next point with phrases like "In addition to this," or "Furthermore," to create a smoother transition. Structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph can also help guide the reader through your argument.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs to separate ideas, which is a strength. Each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the argument. However, the first body paragraph could be split into two distinct paragraphs: one focusing on the impact of online shopping and the other on the ineffectiveness of advertisements. This would allow for a more focused discussion in each section.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraph structure, ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea supported by relevant examples. Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will discuss. For instance, you could begin the second paragraph with a sentence like, "The rise of online shopping has fundamentally changed consumer behavior," followed by supporting details.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "however," "moreover," and "in conclusion," which help to connect ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances where the connections between sentences could be strengthened. For example, the phrase "By which this phenomenon extent to the innovation in online shopping" is awkwardly constructed and lacks clarity.
    • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "for example," "in contrast," and "as a result" to clarify relationships between ideas. Additionally, ensure that sentences are grammatically correct and clearly articulated to enhance readability. Revising awkward phrases for clarity will also improve cohesion.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument. By improving transitions, refining paragraph structure, and enhancing the use of cohesive devices, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some effective phrases such as "engagement of technology," "honest reviews," and "unique and eye-catching scenes." However, the vocabulary is somewhat limited in variety and sophistication, which affects the overall impression. For instance, terms like "beneficiary advantages" and "alarming problems" are somewhat awkward and could be expressed more naturally. Additionally, phrases like "a thousand options will show up" could be enhanced with more precise language.
    • How to improve: To enhance the range of vocabulary, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more varied expressions. For example, instead of "a thousand options will show up," consider "a plethora of options becomes available." Regular reading of high-quality texts can help expose the writer to a broader vocabulary.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. For example, "spectate fully each aspects of the product" is incorrect; "spectate" is not the right verb in this context. The phrase "beneficiary advantages" is also a misstep; "beneficial" would be the correct adjective. Furthermore, "divinising" is an unusual choice that does not fit the context and could confuse readers.
    • How to improve: To improve precision, the writer should focus on using vocabulary that accurately conveys the intended meaning. A good practice is to consult a thesaurus and ensure that the chosen words fit the context. Additionally, proofreading for clarity and correctness can help identify and rectify imprecise language.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several spelling errors that detract from its overall quality. For instance, "beneficiary" should be "beneficial," "postive" should be "positive," and "irreversable" should be "irreversible." These errors indicate a lack of attention to detail and can negatively impact the reader’s perception of the writer’s proficiency.
    • How to improve: To enhance spelling accuracy, the writer should implement a systematic approach to proofreading. This can include reading the essay aloud, using spell-check tools, and maintaining a personal list of commonly misspelled words. Additionally, practicing writing regularly can help reinforce correct spelling habits.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a foundational understanding of vocabulary, there are significant areas for improvement in range, precision, and spelling. By expanding vocabulary, ensuring precise word choice, and focusing on spelling accuracy, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future essays.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a moderate range of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and some complex sentences. For instance, the use of "By which this phenomenon extent to the innovation in online shopping and deficiency in ideas of commercials" attempts to incorporate a complex structure, but it is awkwardly phrased and lacks clarity. Additionally, phrases like "the percentage of people getting scammed online through short-cut videos will significantly abate" showcase a more varied structure but could be improved for fluidity and coherence. Overall, while there are attempts at variety, many sentences are either overly simplistic or convoluted, which detracts from the overall effectiveness.
    • How to improve: To enhance the variety of sentence structures, the writer should practice using more complex sentences effectively. This can be achieved by combining ideas using subordinating conjunctions (e.g., "although," "because") or relative clauses (e.g., "which," "that"). Additionally, varying sentence beginnings and lengths can create a more engaging flow. For example, instead of starting several sentences with "By," the writer could start with an introductory phrase or a dependent clause to create more dynamic sentence openings.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues that hinder clarity. For example, "Through a recent research" should be "Through recent research" as "research" is uncountable. The phrase "does not spectate fully each aspects of the product" is incorrect; it should be "does not fully represent each aspect of the product." There are also punctuation errors, such as missing commas in compound sentences, which can lead to run-on sentences and confusion. The phrase "majority of their ideas are lacking in uniqueness and eye-catching scenes which as a result do not succeed in catching the attention of potential customers" is overly long and lacks necessary punctuation, making it difficult to follow.
    • How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement, proper use of articles, and the correct form of verbs. Regular practice with grammar exercises and seeking feedback on writing can help identify persistent errors. Additionally, reviewing punctuation rules, particularly for complex sentences, can aid in improving clarity. Reading more academic texts can also provide examples of correct grammar and punctuation usage, which can be emulated in the writer’s own work.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt at using a range of structures and grammatical accuracy, there are notable areas for improvement. By focusing on diversifying sentence structures and enhancing grammatical and punctuation accuracy, the writer can work towards achieving a higher band score in future essays.

Bài sửa mẫu

Through recent research, it has been shown that advertising seemingly has less impact on consumers compared to the past. This phenomenon extends to the innovation in online shopping and the deficiency in ideas of commercials. I believe that this is a positive development.

Advertising does not fully encompass all aspects of the product. However, with the engagement of technology, online shopping platforms and their supporting systems are helping consumers shop in a more efficient way. In reality, by searching for a product on the website, a multitude of options will appear, varying in different prices and feedback. Immersing oneself in the honest reviews from past customers with real experience can be more relevant than a 30-second commercial, which can assure your desire for the product. Producers have also become less uninspired in their advertisements; the majority of their ideas lack uniqueness and eye-catching scenes, which, as a result, do not succeed in catching the attention of potential customers.

Nevertheless, in the majority of contexts, I believe that this represents a beneficial advantage for consumers. To begin with, the percentage of individuals who are scammed online through shortcut videos will significantly abate. In the past, many scammers promoted their fake products through sweet lies and deceiving them on social ads, leading consumers to believe in them and spend a fortune on those magical products, only to receive back a worthless item. Moreover, overconsumption and the purchase of unnecessary products that will not come in use would not be a significant problem, since people have become more diligent in what they buy and use.

In conclusion, the effectiveness rates of advertising have declined due to the boost in the number of shopping applications as well as the shortcomings in concept ideas for commercial clips. By contrast, this has represented a positive development as it leads to an irreversible reduction in overconsumption and scamming.

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