The table and chart provide a breakdown of the total expenditure and the average amount of money spent by students per week while studying abroad in four countries.

The table illustrates the total spending of international students in four nations. In addition, the bar chart provides a comparison of overseas students’ weekly expenditure on three demands, including accommodation, tuition, and living expenses.
From an overall perspective, it is clear that foreign pupils spend significantly their budget in country A and less on country D. Moreover, residents in all nations expend substantial their income on living cost compared to other demands.
In terms of the table, country A and B take the lead, with $875 and $735, respectively. This is followed by country C, making up the lower figure, with $540. Country C accounts for the lowest number at $435.
The bar chart depicts the weekly amount of money allocated to three demands by international students in four nations. In country A and B, students spend on living cost, with respective figures $430 and $350, while only $ 275 and $225 of the weekly budget are spent on this demand by country C and D. overseas students in country A expended their income on tuition is $358, compared to $350 in country B, $275 in country C, and $235 in country D. Additionally, the average income which overseas students in these countries spend on accommodation only ranges from $200 to $280.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"From an overall perspective" -> "Taking an overarching view"
Explanation: "From an overall perspective" is a common phrase but substituting it with "Taking an overarching view" adds a touch of sophistication and clarity to the sentence.
"foreign pupils spend significantly their budget" -> "foreign pupils significantly allocate their budget"
Explanation: "Spend significantly their budget" is grammatically incorrect. "Allocate their budget" is a more precise and suitable phrase to convey the intended meaning.
"residents in all nations expend substantial their income" -> "residents in all nations allocate a substantial portion of their income"
Explanation: "Expend substantial their income" is awkward phrasing. "Allocate a substantial portion of their income" is clearer and more grammatically correct.
"take the lead" -> "are at the forefront"
Explanation: "Take the lead" is a bit informal. "Are at the forefront" maintains the meaning while sounding more formal and precise.
"the lower figure" -> "a lower total"
Explanation: "The lower figure" is somewhat vague. "A lower total" clarifies the comparison being made.
"depicts the weekly amount of money" -> "illustrates the weekly expenditure"
Explanation: "Depicts the weekly amount of money" is repetitive. "Illustrates the weekly expenditure" is a more concise and clear way to convey the same idea.
"expended their income on tuition is" -> "allocated for tuition is"
Explanation: "Expended their income on tuition is" is grammatically incorrect. "Allocated for tuition is" is a more suitable phrase to express the idea of spending money on tuition.
"only ranges from" -> "ranges only from"
Explanation: "Only ranges from" disrupts the flow of the sentence. "Ranges only from" maintains clarity and proper word order.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

[
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay adequately addresses the task by presenting an overview of the total expenditure and average weekly spending of students in four countries studying abroad. It provides key details from both the table and the chart, mentioning the countries and their expenditures. However, some details are inaccurately reported, such as stating "$875 and $735" as the total spending for countries A and B without specifying the currency. Also, the description lacks coherence and cohesion, making it somewhat challenging to follow the flow of information.
How to improve: Ensure accurate reporting of data, including specifying the currency for monetary values. Work on improving coherence and cohesion by organizing information logically and using transition words/phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Additionally, focus on providing a clearer and more structured overview of the main trends and key features, avoiding unnecessary repetition or irrelevant details.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation:
The essay presents some organization by introducing the main components of the data presented in the table and chart. It attempts to provide an overview and make comparisons between the countries and expenditure categories. However, there are issues with coherence and cohesion. There is a lack of clear progression in presenting the information, and some points are repetitive. The essay also lacks clarity in transitioning between ideas and paragraphs. Additionally, there are errors in referencing and the use of cohesive devices, leading to confusion and hindering the flow of the essay.

How to improve:

Focus on creating a clear structure for the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and follows a logical progression of ideas.
Use cohesive devices such as transition words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Avoid repetition by synthesizing information and providing concise explanations.
Pay attention to referencing and ensure that ideas are connected logically throughout the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. There is an attempt to use less common vocabulary, such as "expenditure," "overseas," and "residents." However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "expend substantially their income" instead of "substantial amounts of their income" or "students spend significantly their budget" instead of "students significantly allocate their budget." Additionally, there are occasional errors in spelling and word formation, such as "expend," which should be "expenditure," and "expended" instead of "expend." These errors do not impede communication but affect the overall coherence and accuracy of the essay.

How to improve: To improve lexical resource, focus on using more precise and accurate vocabulary. Pay attention to word choice and collocation to ensure clarity and coherence. Proofread the essay for spelling and word formation errors to enhance overall accuracy. Additionally, aim for consistency in grammar and vocabulary usage throughout the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences. However, there are several grammatical errors throughout the essay, such as subject-verb agreement errors ("foreign pupils spend significantly their budget"), incorrect prepositions ("expended their income on tuition"), and inconsistent use of articles ("the lower figure"). Punctuation errors are also noticeable, such as missing commas and incorrect placement of commas. Despite attempting complex sentences, the accuracy tends to be compromised, causing some difficulty for the reader in understanding the intended meaning.

How to improve: Focus on improving sentence structure accuracy by ensuring subject-verb agreement, using appropriate prepositions, and consistent article usage. Pay close attention to punctuation rules, especially the correct placement of commas to improve clarity and coherence. Additionally, proofreading the essay thoroughly can help identify and correct grammatical errors to enhance overall clarity and readability.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table and bar chart delineate the total expenditure and average weekly spending by international students while pursuing education in four different countries.

Upon examination of the data, it is evident that students studying in country A allocate the highest portion of their budget, while those in country D allocate the least. Notably, living expenses represent a significant portion of students’ expenditures across all nations.

Turning to the table, it is observed that countries A and B lead in total spending, amounting to $875 and $735, respectively. Following them, country C records a lower figure of $540, while country D has the lowest expenditure at $435.

Regarding the bar chart, it illustrates the weekly allocation of funds across three categories: accommodation, tuition, and living expenses. In countries A and B, a substantial portion of the budget is dedicated to living costs, with respective figures of $430 and $350. In contrast, countries C and D allocate comparatively less, with $275 and $225, respectively.

Furthermore, students in country A spend the most on tuition, with $358, followed closely by country B with $350. Countries C and D allocate less to tuition, with figures of $275 and $235, respectively. Accommodation expenses range from $200 to $280 across the four countries.

Overall, the data underscores the varying expenditure patterns of international students across different countries, with living expenses being a consistent priority.