The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary school in 2005 and 2015

The table below gives information about the problems faced by children in two primary school in 2005 and 2015

The table illustrates the proportion of academic shortcomings incurred by elementary students in two institutions during the years 2005 and 2015.

Overall, there was a sharp decrease in the share of students possessing educational deficiencies in School A, with the most dramatic drop being seen in the area of following instructions, while the opposite trend was witnessed by School B. Despite this, the former school consistently had by far the highest figures over the period.

The percentage of learners in School A troubled by reading inability started at just over one fifth in 2005, after which it experienced a minimal growth of 1% ten years later. A stark contrast, however, was seen in the domains of spelling, listening and verbal expression, which decreased considerably from 30 to 25 for the first category and the other two dropped significantly of around 15% one each. A Similar change, but with a much greater extent, was seen in the figures for following instructions and concentration sections, both dropping drastically by an average amount of 23% (from 41% to 18% specifically) in the course of ten years. Meanwhile, problems with handwriting remained unchanged at 28%.

From 2005 to 2015, reading incompetence in School B slightly rose from 8% to 9%, and an analogous change with the same amount was seen in the figures for articulation and listening skills. Likewise, there was a twofold increase in challenges pertaining to spelling and following instructions, with respective figures of 5% to 10% and 6% to 12%. Moreover, the proportions of students suffering from handwriting and concentration inabilities leveled off at 7% and 15% over the same research period.

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Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

1. "incurred by elementary students" -> "experienced by elementary school students"
   Explanation: "Incurred by" is somewhat vague and less direct in this context. "Experienced by" is more precise and commonly used in academic writing to describe the effects or challenges faced by students.

2. "sharp decrease" -> "significant decline"
   Explanation: "Sharp decrease" is a colloquial expression. "Significant decline" is more formal and appropriate for academic writing.

3. "possessing educational deficiencies" -> "exhibiting educational deficiencies"
   Explanation: "Possessing" implies ownership, which is not the intended meaning here. "Exhibiting" more accurately describes the manifestation of these deficiencies in the students.

4. "learners" -> "students"
   Explanation: While "learners" is acceptable, "students" is more specific and commonly used in academic contexts to refer to individuals in educational settings.

5. "troubled by reading inability" -> "struggling with reading difficulties"
   Explanation: "Troubled by reading inability" is awkward and unclear. "Struggling with reading difficulties" is clearer and more formal.

6. "minimal growth of 1%" -> "small increase of 1%"
   Explanation: "Minimal growth" can be seen as too vague and informal. "Small increase" is more precise and suitable for academic writing.

7. "dropped significantly of around 15% one each" -> "decreased by approximately 15% each"
   Explanation: The original phrase is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised version is grammatically correct and clearer.

8. "A Similar change, but with a much greater extent" -> "Similarly, with a greater extent"
   Explanation: "A Similar change" is redundant and informal. "Similarly" is more concise and appropriate for academic writing.

9. "dropping drastically by an average amount of 23%" -> "decreasing significantly by approximately 23%"
   Explanation: "Dropping drastically" is an idiom and too informal. "Decreasing significantly" is more formal and precise.

10. "problems with handwriting remained unchanged" -> "handwriting difficulties remained unchanged"
    Explanation: "Problems with handwriting" is slightly informal. "Handwriting difficulties" is more specific and formal.

11. "slightly rose" -> "slightly increased"
    Explanation: "Rose" is less formal and slightly awkward in this context. "Increased" is more direct and appropriate for academic writing.

12. "analogous change with the same amount" -> "similar changes of the same magnitude"
    Explanation: "Analogous change" is less common and can be unclear. "Similar changes of the same magnitude" is clearer and more formal.

13. "challenges pertaining to spelling and following instructions" -> "difficulties in spelling and following instructions"
    Explanation: "Challenges pertaining to" is verbose and less direct. "Difficulties in" is concise and straightforward.

14. "leveled off at" -> "remained constant at"
    Explanation: "Leveled off" is less formal and slightly vague. "Remained constant at" is more precise and formal.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay addresses the requirements of the task by providing an overview of the information in the table. The essay presents information appropriately selected, but the details are sometimes irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that "problems with handwriting remained unchanged at 28%" in School A, but the table shows that the percentage actually decreased from 28% to 28%.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by focusing on the most significant trends and providing more accurate details. For example, the essay could state that the percentage of students with problems in following instructions decreased significantly in School A, while the percentage of students with problems in spelling increased significantly in School B. The essay could also provide more specific details about the changes in each category, such as the exact percentage increase or decrease.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng:

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng:

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng:

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