The table below shows four different cars manufactured in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below shows four different cars manufactured in three different countries.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features,
and make comparisons where relevant.
The table shows the price, power, and fuel consumption of four different cars manufactured in three different countries. Overall, Volkswagen Golf- Germany is more expensive than others and it has the biggest engine, but miles per gallon is the least. Meanwhile, Nissan Micra-Japan has lower price and smaller engine, but it has the highest mile per gallon.
Volkswagen Golf- Germany is the most expensive car, at $18,250, and it has the most powerful engine with 1600cc, but this car is the least miles per gallon, at 40. Next, Toyota Corolla and Nissan Micra have the same origin in Japan and similar price, at $15,550 and $ 15,500 respectively. Athough Toyota Corolla has bigger engine with 1400cc, Nissan Micra does more miles to the gallon, at 52. Finally, Ford Focus-USA has similar engine with Toyata Corolla, at 1400cc, but it has a slightly higher price, at $15,800 and more miles per gallon, at 50.
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Errors and Improvements:
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"miles per gallon is the least" -> "has the lowest fuel efficiency"
Explanation: "Least" is not the most appropriate term to describe fuel efficiency. "Lowest" is more precise in conveying the comparative aspect. -
"Athough Toyota Corolla has bigger engine" -> "Although the Toyota Corolla has a larger engine"
Explanation: "Bigger" is colloquial; "larger" is more formal and fitting for an essay-style analysis. -
"does more miles to the gallon" -> "achieves higher miles per gallon"
Explanation: "Does more miles to the gallon" is awkward and unclear. "Achieves higher miles per gallon" conveys the intended meaning more clearly. -
"has similar engine with Toyata Corolla" -> "has a comparable engine to the Toyota Corolla"
Explanation: "Similar engine" lacks precision. "Comparable engine" specifies the comparison more clearly. -
"slightly higher price, at $15,800" -> "marginally higher price of $15,800"
Explanation: "Slightly higher" can be enhanced for precision and formality by using "marginally higher." Adding "of $15,800" clarifies the exact price mentioned.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7
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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the four cars and making relevant comparisons. It presents a clear overview of the main trends, such as the differences in price, engine power, and fuel consumption among the cars from different countries.
How to improve: To enhance the essay and potentially reach a higher band score, ensure that each point is fully developed with more detailed information. For example, providing specific data for fuel consumption and engine power for each car would strengthen the analysis. Additionally, organizing the information in a more structured manner could improve clarity and coherence. Consider using paragraph breaks to separate the discussion of each car, making it easier for the reader to follow the comparisons. Furthermore, watch for minor grammatical errors and improve the overall fluency of the writing.]
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay arranges information coherently by introducing each car with its respective characteristics, such as price, engine power, and fuel consumption. There is a clear attempt at summarizing the main features and making relevant comparisons. However, the essay’s cohesion within and between sentences could be improved for a more seamless flow. Some sentences lack clarity and there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as in the sentence "Next, Toyota Corolla and Nissan Micra have the same origin in Japan and similar price, at $15,550 and $15,500 respectively." Additionally, paragraphing is used, but it’s not consistently logical.
How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on improving the transition between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph discusses a single main idea related to the comparison of cars, and use cohesive devices effectively to connect ideas within and between sentences. Clarify ambiguous statements and maintain a consistent logical progression throughout the essay.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5
Explanation: The essay adequately presents the main features of the cars outlined in the table. It provides a basic overview of the price, power, and fuel consumption of each car, offering comparisons where relevant. The vocabulary used is minimally adequate for the task, though there are noticeable errors in word choice, spelling, and word formation. For instance, "Athough" should be "Although," "Toyata" should be "Toyota," and there are inconsistencies in capitalization. Additionally, there is repetition of phrases such as "most powerful engine" and "biggest engine," which could be varied for better lexical resource. Overall, the vocabulary usage is limited and lacks sophistication, causing some difficulty for the reader.
How to improve: To enhance the Lexical Resource, strive to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary, especially when describing the cars and their features. Use more varied and precise terms instead of repetitive phrases. Pay close attention to spelling and word formation to avoid errors that may affect the clarity of the message. Additionally, aim for a more cohesive and structured presentation of information to improve overall coherence and readability.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5
Band Score: 5.0
Explanation: The essay attempts to convey the main features of the cars listed in the table and makes some relevant comparisons. It utilizes a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, attempting to provide a summary of the information presented. However, there are limitations in the range of structures used, and the essay tends to rely on basic sentence forms. While there are attempts at complex sentences, they are not consistently accurate, and some grammatical errors are present throughout the essay. Punctuation usage is also inconsistent, which can occasionally impede clarity.
How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex ones, to demonstrate greater flexibility and sophistication in language use. They should also pay closer attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation consistency to ensure clarity and precision in conveying information. Additionally, the writer should strive for more precise vocabulary and phrasing to enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Bài sửa mẫu
The provided table illustrates the price, power, and fuel consumption attributes of four distinct cars originating from three different countries. Notably, the Volkswagen Golf from Germany stands out as the most expensive option, boasting the largest engine capacity among the presented vehicles, albeit with the lowest fuel efficiency.
Specifically, the Volkswagen Golf, priced at $18,250, features a robust 1600cc engine. However, its fuel consumption is the least efficient, rated at 40 miles per gallon. In contrast, the Nissan Micra from Japan emerges as a more economical choice, with a lower price tag of $15,500 and a smaller engine capacity of 1400cc. Impressively, the Micra achieves the highest fuel efficiency, clocking in at 52 miles per gallon.
Sharing its Japanese origin with the Micra, the Toyota Corolla parallels its counterpart in terms of price, standing at $15,550. Despite boasting a slightly larger engine capacity of 1400cc compared to the Micra, the Corolla falls short in fuel efficiency, achieving 50 miles per gallon.
Lastly, the Ford Focus hailing from the USA presents a comparable engine capacity to the Corolla, also at 1400cc, and is priced slightly higher at $15,800. However, it offers a marginally improved fuel efficiency, rated at 50 miles per gallon.
In summary, while the Volkswagen Golf leads in power and price, it lags behind its counterparts in fuel efficiency. Conversely, the Nissan Micra emerges as the most fuel-efficient option, despite its smaller engine size and lower price point.
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