The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table delves into the time allocation of unemployed individuals in the UK across mornings and afternoons, delineating activities by gender.

Overall, it is evident that while job hunting remains a significant concern, unemployed individuals also invest considerable time in various other endeavors.

A conspicuous gender disparity surfaces in household duties. Mornings witness 49% of women immersed in housework, starkly contrasting with the 19% of men. This incongruity persists into the afternoons, with 21% of women compared to merely 7% of men engaged in household chores. Moreover, women dedicate more time to shopping, with 26% in the mornings and 17% in the afternoons, while for men, the figures stand at 20% and 9%, respectively.

Interestingly, the trend in job hunting slightly shifts. Although mornings see 22% of men actively seeking employment, as opposed to 16% of women, this disparity diminishes in the afternoons, with 12% of men and 13% of women focused on job hunting. Furthermore, distinctive preferences emerge in other activities. Men exhibit a greater inclination towards gardening, with 14% engaged in it during mornings and 13% in afternoons, compared to only 2% and 3% for women, respectively. Conversely, women allocate more time to visiting friends or relatives, with 10% in the mornings and 17% in the afternoons, in contrast to 6% and 12% for men.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

1. "delves into" -> "explores"
   Explanation: "Delves into" is a common phrase, but "explores" is more precise and formal, enhancing the academic tone of the sentence.
2. "considerable" -> "significant"
   Explanation: While "considerable" is acceptable, "significant" adds emphasis and clarity, enhancing the impact of the statement.
3. "conspicuous" -> "marked"
   Explanation: "Conspicuous" is appropriate but "marked" is slightly more formal and suits the context of the essay better.
4. "incongruity" -> "discrepancy"
   Explanation: "Incongruity" is suitable, but "discrepancy" is a more precise term for describing the difference between the percentages, adding clarity to the sentence.
5. "Interestingly" -> "Notably"
   Explanation: "Interestingly" is informal; "notably" maintains a formal tone and better introduces the following observation.
6. "shifts" -> "alters"
   Explanation: "Shifts" is acceptable, but "alters" adds variety and sophistication to the vocabulary choice.
7. "distinctive" -> "discernible"
   Explanation: "Distinctive" is fitting, but "discernible" enhances the precision and formality of the statement.
8. "inclination" -> "propensity"
   Explanation: "Inclination" is fine, but "propensity" adds a more sophisticated and formal tone to the sentence.
9. "allocate" -> "dedicate"
   Explanation: "Allocate" is appropriate, but "dedicate" adds a nuanced layer of meaning, emphasizing the personal choice involved in time management.
10. "in contrast to" -> "compared to"
    Explanation: "In contrast to" is suitable, but "compared to" is more concise and formal, improving the flow of the sentence.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation:
The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the information presented in the table. It provides a clear overview of the main trends and differences in how unemployed individuals in the UK spent their time last year, both in the mornings and afternoons, and it makes relevant comparisons, particularly focusing on gender disparities. Key features and bullet points are clearly presented and highlighted, such as the differences in time allocation for household duties, job hunting, shopping, gardening, and social activities between men and women.
How to improve:
To enhance the score, the essay could further extend the presentation of key features by providing more specific data or examples from the table. Additionally, ensuring that all comparisons are clearly articulated and supported by the data would strengthen the response.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay logically organizes information and ideas, presenting a clear progression throughout. It effectively uses a range of cohesive devices to connect sentences and ideas, though there may be slight instances of under- or over-use. Each paragraph focuses on a clear central topic, contributing to the overall coherence of the essay. The sequencing of information is logical, and transitions between different activities and comparisons are handled smoothly.

How to improve:
To enhance cohesion further, ensure consistent and balanced use of cohesive devices throughout the essay. Pay attention to maintaining a natural flow between sentences and paragraphs, avoiding any abrupt shifts or repetition. Additionally, strive for more varied sentence structures to add further depth to the coherence of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, encompassing terms related to time allocation, gender disparity, activities, and trends. It employs less common lexical items such as "delineating," "conspicuous," "immersed," "incongruity," "diminishes," "inclination," and "distinctive," which contribute to a more nuanced expression of ideas. The writer also shows awareness of style and collocation by using phrases like "invest considerable time," "a significant concern," and "distinctive preferences." While there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "delves into" instead of "explores" and "focus" instead of "focused," these do not significantly detract from overall comprehension.

How to improve: To enhance lexical resource further, aim for greater precision in word choice and consistency in style. Revising some sentences for clarity and coherence could refine the essay’s lexical sophistication. Additionally, expanding the vocabulary range slightly and minimizing occasional inaccuracies in word choice would elevate the essay to a higher band score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a competent use of a variety of complex sentence structures, which supports the assignment of a Band 7 score. The writer successfully incorporates different types of sentences and employs them effectively to convey detailed information about the topic. For instance, the introduction and overall analysis are clear and are mostly error-free, highlighting a good control of grammar and punctuation.

However, while there are several complex sentences that enhance the descriptive quality of the essay, there are minor errors and occasional awkward phrasings ("Overall, it is evident that while job hunting remains a significant concern, unemployed individuals also invest considerable time in various other endeavors."). These do not impede comprehension but indicate a level just below the near-perfect control expected at Band 8.

How to improve:
To aim for a higher band, the writer should focus on achieving greater accuracy and flexibility in their sentence structures. This could include more varied and precise use of connectives and a wider range of grammatical structures to ensure that complexity does not lead to ambiguity or error. Additionally, refining the phrasing to avoid redundancy and improve clarity could help enhance the grammatical quality of the essay, pushing it closer to a Band 8 or 9. Frequent review and revision of sentences to catch and correct subtle grammatical slips will also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table illustrates how unemployed individuals in the UK allocate their time throughout the day, categorized by gender and activities undertaken during mornings and afternoons.

Upon examination, it is apparent that while job search remains a significant focus for the unemployed, they also engage in various other activities.

A noticeable gender discrepancy is observed in household responsibilities. In the mornings, a substantial 49% of women are involved in housework, in stark contrast to only 19% of men. This gender gap persists in the afternoons, with 21% of women and only 7% of men participating in household chores. Additionally, women allocate more time to shopping, with 26% and 17% in the mornings and afternoons, respectively, whereas men’s involvement stands at 20% and 9%.

Interestingly, the pattern of job hunting shows a slight variation. While 22% of men actively pursue employment in the mornings, the figure slightly drops to 12% in the afternoons. Conversely, women exhibit a lower engagement in job hunting during mornings (16%) compared to men but a slightly higher participation in the afternoons (13%). Furthermore, distinctive preferences emerge in other activities, with men showing a stronger inclination towards gardening, with 14% and 13% during mornings and afternoons, respectively. In contrast, women allocate more time to visiting friends or relatives, with 10% and 17% during mornings and afternoons, respectively, compared to 6% and 12% for men.