The table below shows the number of people working different jobs in one country in 2015 and 2025, and its projected changes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table below shows the number of people working different jobs in one country in 2015 and 2025, and its projected changes. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table provides detailed information about how many individuals labored across multiple occupations in a specific nation during two years: 2015 and 2025, as well as the projections. Overall, it is noticeable that all employment experienced an increasing number of workers, with the exception of cleaners whose figure observed a downward trend. Remarkably, professors are anticipated to have the highest employment figure, while hospital occupations recorded the highest growth in participation by the year 2025.
In 2015, the number of individuals employed as professors stood at 2.785 million, exceeding the workforce of retail trade with a margin of 1 million. Education ranked at the third position with 1.475 million employees during this year, closely followed by cleaners and hospital occupations’ numbers, at 1.321 million and 1.235 million, respectively. Meanwhile, office management attracted the lowest number of laborers in 2015, recording 1.115 million.
After a decade, the number of professors is calculated to increase marginally to approximately 2.87 million, representing a growth of 3%, continuing to maintain its predominant position. On the other hand, it is anticipated that the hospitality sector will experience the highest increase, around 8%, totaling approximately 1.34 million employees by 2025. With the respective increase of 3.5%, 4%, and 5%, the numbers of people enrolled in retail trade, education and office management are anticipated to range from 1.17 million to 1.85 million by the year 2025. In contrast, cleaning is expected to decrease its employment number by 1%, eventually remaining at 1.221 million people engaging in this occupation.
Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng
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"labored" -> "worked"
Explanation: The verb "labored" can imply hard work or effort, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Worked" is more neutral and appropriate for describing the number of individuals employed in different occupations. -
"observed a downward trend" -> "decreased"
Explanation: "Observed a downward trend" is a bit verbose and can be simplified to "decreased" for a more direct and formal expression. -
"Remarkably" -> "Notably"
Explanation: "Remarkably" can imply surprise or astonishment, which may not be the intended tone in an academic context. "Notably" is more neutral and suitable for formal writing. -
"the highest employment figure" -> "the largest workforce"
Explanation: "Employment figure" is somewhat redundant as "figure" already implies a numerical value. "Workforce" is a more precise term for the number of people employed in a particular occupation or industry. -
"hospital occupations" -> "healthcare occupations"
Explanation: "Hospital occupations" is somewhat ambiguous and specific to hospitals only. "Healthcare occupations" encompasses a broader range of healthcare-related fields, aligning better with the data provided. -
"recorded the highest growth" -> "experienced the greatest growth"
Explanation: "Recorded" might suggest a passive process, whereas "experienced" is more active and appropriate for describing changes in employment numbers. -
"marginally" -> "slightly"
Explanation: "Marginally" can imply a small but significant difference, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Slightly" is more straightforward and appropriate for describing a relatively small increase. -
"continuing to maintain its predominant position" -> "remaining the dominant position"
Explanation: "Continuing to maintain" is redundant as "maintain" already implies continuity. "Remaining the dominant position" is more concise and maintains the formal tone. -
"hospitality sector" -> "hospitality industry"
Explanation: "Sector" is a less common term in this context compared to "industry," which is more widely used and understood in economic and employment contexts. -
"With the respective increase of 3.5%, 4%, and 5%," -> "With projected increases of 3.5%, 4%, and 5%"
Explanation: Adding "projected" clarifies that these are predictions rather than actual figures, enhancing the formal tone and accuracy of the statement. -
"are anticipated to range from 1.17 million to 1.85 million" -> "are expected to range from 1.17 million to 1.85 million"
Explanation: "Anticipated" is slightly less formal than "expected," which is commonly used in academic and professional contexts to describe predictions or forecasts. -
"cleaning is expected to decrease its employment number" -> "the cleaning sector is expected to decrease its workforce"
Explanation: "Employment number" is less specific and formal than "workforce," which is the standard term in employment statistics. Also, "sector" is more appropriate than "occupation" for a broader industry like cleaning.
Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6
Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main features of the table, including the overall trend of increasing employment in most occupations and the specific changes in each occupation. The essay also makes comparisons between the occupations, highlighting the highest and lowest employment figures and the largest and smallest increases. However, the essay does not fully extend the key features, and some details are irrelevant or inaccurate. For example, the essay states that the number of professors is expected to increase marginally to approximately 2.87 million, representing a growth of 3%, but the table shows that the actual increase is only 0.085 million, or 3%.
How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific and accurate details about the changes in each occupation. The essay could also be improved by providing a more concise and focused overview of the main features of the table.
Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay logically organizes information and ideas, demonstrating clear progression throughout. It presents a central topic within each paragraph and uses a range of cohesive devices appropriately, although there are instances of slight under- or over-use. The paragraphing is mostly effective, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall flow.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on refining the use of cohesive devices to ensure they enhance clarity rather than detract from it. Additionally, improving the transitions between paragraphs and ensuring that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next would strengthen coherence. Finally, providing clearer referencing for data points could further enhance the logical progression of ideas.
Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for flexibility and precision in conveying information. The use of terms such as "laborers," "predominant position," and "projected changes" indicates an awareness of less common lexical items. However, there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as "hospital occupations recorded the highest growth in participation," which could be more clearly expressed. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, but there are instances where it lacks sophistication or precision, preventing it from reaching a higher band score.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that less common lexical items are used accurately. Additionally, minimizing errors in word choice and collocation will improve clarity. Practicing the use of synonyms and varying sentence structures can also contribute to a more natural and fluent expression of ideas. Finally, proofreading for spelling and word formation errors will help in achieving a higher band score.
Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7
Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a variety of complex sentence structures and produces frequent error-free sentences. The writer shows good control of grammar and punctuation, with only a few errors present that do not significantly hinder communication. The use of vocabulary is appropriate for the task, and the overall organization of information is clear. However, there are minor inaccuracies and occasional awkward phrasing that prevent a higher score.
How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on reducing minor grammatical errors and improving sentence fluency. This can be done by varying sentence structures more effectively and ensuring that all sentences are clear and concise. Additionally, proofreading for any slips or awkward constructions can enhance overall accuracy and coherence.
Bài sửa mẫu
The table provides detailed information about the number of individuals employed across various occupations in a specific nation during two years: 2015 and 2025, along with the projected changes. Overall, it is noticeable that all employment sectors experienced an increase in the number of workers, with the exception of cleaners, whose figures showed a downward trend. Remarkably, professors are anticipated to have the highest employment figure, while hospital occupations are projected to record the most significant growth in participation by the year 2025.
In 2015, the number of individuals employed as professors stood at 2.785 million, exceeding the workforce in retail trade by a margin of 1 million. Education ranked third, with 1.475 million employees during this year, closely followed by cleaners and hospital occupations, which had 1.321 million and 1.235 million workers, respectively. Meanwhile, office management attracted the lowest number of laborers in 2015, recording 1.115 million.
After a decade, the number of professors is expected to increase marginally to approximately 2.87 million, representing a growth of 3%, thus maintaining its predominant position. On the other hand, the hospitality sector is anticipated to experience the highest increase, around 8%, totaling approximately 1.34 million employees by 2025. With respective increases of 3.5%, 4%, and 5%, the numbers of people employed in retail trade, education, and office management are projected to range from 1.17 million to 1.85 million by the year 2025. In contrast, cleaning is expected to see a decrease in its employment numbers by 1%, ultimately remaining at 1.221 million people engaged in this occupation.
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