The table illustrates the average number of miles traveled by adults by seven different types of transport in 1997 and 2007.

The table illustrates the average number of miles traveled by adults by seven different types of transport in 1997 and 2007.
Overall, while there was an increase in the use of cars, trains, and taxis, the opposite trend was seen in the figures for other transport listed. In addition, cars consistently remained the most popular mode of travel, while buses and trains were the least common over the period.
In 1997, cars were the main mode of transport for adults, starting at 3500 miles, after which it saw a two-fold increase to 7100 miles in 2007. Similar changes, but to a lesser extent, were seen in the figures for trains, which increased slightly from 900 to 1000 miles. Meanwhile, the average distance traveled by bus experienced a considerable decline from 800 to 500 miles.
Regarding the remaining mode listed, adults walked an average of 400 miles in 1997, with a gradual drop to 300 miles in 2007. Similarly, in 1997, bicycles and motorbikes both used for an average of 100 miles, which then decreased to just 80 miles and 90 miles, respectively, in 2007. Consistently, the use of taxis rose fourfold, from 200 to 800 miles.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"Overall, while there was an increase in the use of cars, trains, and taxis, the opposite trend was seen in the figures for other transport listed." -> "Overall, while there was an increase in the use of cars, trains, and taxis, a contrasting trend was observed in the figures for other modes of transport."
Explanation: Replacing "the opposite trend was seen" with "a contrasting trend was observed" refines the language to be more formal and precise, aligning better with academic style.
"In addition, cars consistently remained the most popular mode of travel, while buses and trains were the least common over the period." -> "Furthermore, cars consistently remained the most popular mode of transport, while buses and trains were the least utilized modes of transport throughout the period."
Explanation: Replacing "mode of travel" with "mode of transport" and "least common" with "least utilized" enhances specificity and formality, and "throughout the period" is a more precise temporal descriptor.
"Similar changes, but to a lesser extent, were seen in the figures for trains, which increased slightly from 900 to 1000 miles." -> "Comparable changes, albeit to a lesser degree, were observed in the figures for trains, which experienced a marginal increase from 900 to 1000 miles."
Explanation: "Comparable changes, albeit to a lesser degree" and "experienced a marginal increase" are more precise and formal, improving the academic tone of the sentence.
"the average distance traveled by bus experienced a considerable decline from 800 to 500 miles." -> "the average distance traveled by buses underwent a significant decline from 800 to 500 miles."
Explanation: "Underwent a significant decline" is more formal and precise than "experienced a considerable decline," and "buses" should be plural to match the singular "average distance."
"Regarding the remaining mode listed, adults walked an average of 400 miles in 1997, with a gradual drop to 300 miles in 2007." -> "Regarding the remaining modes listed, adults walked an average of 400 miles in 1997, with a gradual decrease to 300 miles in 2007."
Explanation: "Modes" should be plural to match the singular "mode," and "decrease" is a more formal synonym for "drop."
"Similarly, in 1997, bicycles and motorbikes both used for an average of 100 miles, which then decreased to just 80 miles and 90 miles, respectively, in 2007." -> "Similarly, in 1997, bicycles and motorbikes were used for an average of 100 miles each, which then decreased to 80 miles and 90 miles, respectively, in 2007."
Explanation: "Were used for" clarifies the action, and "each" specifies that the 100 miles is the average for both modes of transport.
"Consistently, the use of taxis rose fourfold, from 200 to 800 miles." -> "Consistently, the usage of taxis increased fourfold, from 200 to 800 miles."
Explanation: "Increased" is a more direct and formal verb than "rose," and "usage" is more appropriate than "use" in this context, aligning better with formal academic style.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay covers all the requirements of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends. The essay highlights the key features of the data, such as the increase in car use and the decrease in bus use. However, the essay could be more fully extended by providing more detailed analysis of the data. For example, the essay could discuss the reasons for the changes in travel patterns.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis of the data. For example, the essay could discuss the reasons for the changes in travel patterns. The essay could also be improved by using more precise language to describe the trends in the data. For example, instead of saying "a considerable decline," the essay could say "a significant decrease."

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information and ideas, with clear progression throughout. Each paragraph presents a clear central topic, and the use of cohesive devices is appropriate, though there may be minor instances of under- or over-use. For example, the essay uses phrases like "Overall," "In addition," "Similar changes," and "Meanwhile" to guide the reader through the information. The paragraphing is sufficient and appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the data presented in the table.

How to improve:

Enhance Cohesion: While the essay uses cohesive devices effectively, there is room for improvement in making the transitions between sentences and paragraphs even smoother. This can be achieved by varying the cohesive devices used and ensuring that each one clearly contributes to the logical flow of information.
Refine Paragraphing: Although the paragraphing is generally appropriate, it could be further refined by ensuring that each paragraph not only has a clear central topic but also develops that topic fully before moving on to the next. This might involve adding more detailed explanations or comparisons within each paragraph to enhance the depth of analysis.
Avoid Repetition: To achieve a higher band score, the essay should avoid any repetitive use of cohesive devices or phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "in 1997" and "in 2007," consider integrating these time references more seamlessly into the narrative.

By focusing on these areas, the essay can achieve a more sophisticated level of coherence and cohesion, moving closer to the criteria for a Band 8 or 9 score.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary relevant to the task. It uses some less common lexical items, such as "considerable decline" and "two-fold increase," which show an attempt to convey precise meanings. However, there are inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the remaining mode listed" which could be phrased more naturally. Additionally, there are some errors in spelling and word formation, such as "both used for an average of 100 miles," which could be clearer if rephrased. These issues do not impede overall communication but do detract from the lexical resource quality.
How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should aim to incorporate a wider range of sophisticated vocabulary and ensure that less common lexical items are used accurately. Additionally, focusing on improving collocation and avoiding awkward phrasing will contribute to a more natural flow. Regular practice with synonyms and varied expressions, as well as proofreading for spelling and word formation errors, can also help elevate the overall quality of vocabulary used.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, effectively conveying the information from the table. However, there are some grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that occasionally hinder clarity. For instance, phrases like "which then decreased to just 80 miles and 90 miles, respectively, in 2007" could be clearer with more precise wording. Overall, while the communication is generally effective, the presence of errors prevents a higher score.
How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy, the writer should focus on reducing grammatical errors and improving punctuation. Practicing complex sentence structures and ensuring that all sentences are error-free will help. Additionally, revising for clarity and precision in language can improve overall communication. Regular feedback and targeted grammar exercises may also be beneficial.

Bài sửa mẫu

The table illustrates the average number of miles traveled by adults using seven different types of transport in 1997 and 2007. Overall, while there was an increase in the use of cars, trains, and taxis, the opposite trend was observed in the figures for the other modes of transport listed. Additionally, cars consistently remained the most popular mode of travel, whereas buses and trains were the least common throughout the period.

In 1997, cars were the primary mode of transport for adults, starting at 3,500 miles, after which they saw a two-fold increase to 7,100 miles in 2007. Similar changes, albeit to a lesser extent, were noted in the figures for trains, which increased slightly from 900 to 1,000 miles. Meanwhile, the average distance traveled by bus experienced a significant decline from 800 to 500 miles.

Regarding the remaining modes listed, adults walked an average of 400 miles in 1997, with a gradual decrease to 300 miles in 2007. Similarly, in 1997, bicycles and motorbikes were each used for an average of 100 miles, which then decreased to 80 miles and 90 miles, respectively, in 2007. Notably, the use of taxis rose fourfold, from 200 to 800 miles.