The table shows the average annual income of people working in different sectors in 2004 , and the change from 2003. The pie chart shows the distribution of graduates in the different sectors.

The table chart depicts how much people earn from working in different sectors in 2004 and the percentage of change compared to 2003. Meanwhile, the pie chart gives the proportion of employment sectors of graduates.
Overall, people work in public services had the highest average salary compared to all other, while the percentage of change in wholesale and retail trade field hit the highest point compared to 2003. In addition, graduaters in public services accounted for the greater proportion of employment.
In 2004, people working in public services, fince, transportation and wholesale and retail trade had higher average salary than that in mufacturing and agriculture. Especially, public service had ranked with 92000, followed by finance, transportation and wholesale and retail trade ot 83000, 81000 and 77000 in turn. The percentage of change in agriculture compared to 2003 peaked the lowest point of 2,31%, while the figure for wholesale and retail trade hit the highest point of 8,4%.
The percentage of employment graduated public services was 30%, standing on the top list, followed by agriculture and manufacturing at 25% and 20% respectively. The figure for transportation and wholesale and retail had the same with 10%, higher than that of finace by 5%.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

Errors and Improvements:

"table chart" -> "table or chart"
Explanation: Using "table or chart" acknowledges that either a table or a chart may be presented, ensuring inclusivity and accuracy in describing the visual representation of data.
"graduates" -> "graduates’ employment sectors"
Explanation: Specifying "graduates’ employment sectors" clarifies the focus of the pie chart, indicating that it represents the distribution of sectors where graduates are employed.
"work in public services had" -> "working in public services had"
Explanation: Changing "work" to "working" ensures grammatical correctness and maintains consistency in verb tense throughout the sentence.
"percentage of change in wholesale and retail trade field hit the highest point" -> "percentage change in the wholesale and retail trade sector reached its peak"
Explanation: Restructuring the sentence for clarity and precision, using "percentage change" instead of "percentage of change," and specifying "wholesale and retail trade sector" instead of "field" enhance comprehension.
"graduaters" -> "graduates"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "graduates" ensures accuracy and clarity in conveying the intended meaning.
"fince" -> "finance"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "finance" ensures accuracy and clarity in conveying the intended meaning.
"mufacturing" -> "manufacturing"
Explanation: Correcting the spelling of "manufacturing" ensures accuracy and clarity in conveying the intended meaning.
"Especially, public service had ranked with 92000" -> "In particular, the public service sector ranked the highest with 92000"
Explanation: Revising the sentence for clarity and coherence, replacing "Especially" with "In particular" and specifying "public service sector" improve precision and readability.
"wholesale and retail trade ot 83000" -> "wholesale and retail trade at 83000"
Explanation: Correcting "ot" to "at" improves grammatical correctness, ensuring clarity and coherence in the sentence structure.
"peaked the lowest point" -> "reached the lowest point"
Explanation: Using "reached the lowest point" instead of "peaked the lowest point" improves clarity and conciseness in expressing the idea of reaching the lowest value.
"figure for transportation and wholesale and retail had the same with 10%" -> "The proportion of employment for transportation and wholesale and retail sectors was also 10%"
Explanation: Clarifying the sentence structure and using "proportion of employment" instead of "figure for" enhances precision and clarity in conveying the information.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

[
Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay sufficiently covers all requirements of the Task 1 task. It presents a clear overview by stating that people in public services had the highest average salary and that the wholesale and retail trade field had the highest percentage change from 2003. It effectively identifies and highlights key features and trends, such as salary figures in various sectors and percentage changes. However, while the essay presents these features clearly, there is room for further extension and detailed development of how these figures compare across sectors and over time, which would elevate the response to a higher band.

How to improve:
To aim for a higher band score, consider providing more comprehensive comparisons and analyses of the data. For instance, explain the implications of the changes in average salary and sector distributions over time, or discuss why certain sectors might have experienced higher salary increases than others. Additionally, enhancing the accuracy of data presentation (e.g., using precise figures and ensuring decimal consistency) and refining the organization of information for better readability and impact could further improve the essay’s effectiveness.
]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates coherence and cohesion to some extent. There is a clear attempt to organize information logically, with a discernible progression throughout the essay. The introduction adequately introduces the two visuals and provides an overview of the main points to be discussed. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the data, contributing to coherence. However, there are instances of faulty cohesion, such as awkward phrasing and unclear relationships between ideas. Some sentences lack clarity due to mechanical use of cohesive devices. Additionally, paragraphing is somewhat logical but could be improved for better flow and organization.

How to improve: To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on refining the use of cohesive devices to ensure smoother transitions between ideas. Work on sentence structure to avoid mechanical or awkward phrasing, which can hinder clarity. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that the progression of ideas is seamless. Pay attention to paragraphing to enhance the logical flow of the essay.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essayBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstratesBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequateBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:
The essay demonstrates an adequate rangeBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: TheBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range ofBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited rangeBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabularyBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabularyBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary forBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary,Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such asBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but itBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequateBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate forBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts,"Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the taskBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task.Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. TheBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion,"Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attemptsBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts toBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employmentBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to useBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment,"Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use aBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use a varietyBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "averageBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use a variety ofBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salaryBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use a variety of sectorsBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary,"Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use a variety of sectors andBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared toBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," andBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage ofBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of changeBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
–Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
ItBand Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, but it is minimally adequate for the task. The writer attempts to use a variety of sectors and related terms, but the language lacks sophistication and variety. There are noticeableBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attemptsBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts toBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to useBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less commonBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabularyBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary,Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, suchBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such asBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "gradBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduatesBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distributionBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution,"Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," andBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proBand Score: 5.0

Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion ofBand Score: 5.0

HowBand Score: 6.0
Explanation**:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employmentBand Score: 5.0

How toBand Score: 6.0
Explanation**:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment,"Band Score: 5.0

How to improveBand Score: 6.0
Explanation**:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," butBand Score: 5.0

How to improve:Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but withBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: ToBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with someBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improveBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracyBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve theBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy,Band Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resourceBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, asBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource scoreBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seenBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score,Band Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "Band Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writerBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "gradBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer shouldBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduatersBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focusBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters"Band Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expandingBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "Band Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabularyBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
–Band Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using aBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
ThereBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider range of wordsBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errorsBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider range of words and expressionsBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in wordBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation,Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such asBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "peopleBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people workBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in publicBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public servicesBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services"Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" insteadBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead ofBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "peopleBand Score: 5.0

How to improve: To improve the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and using a wider range of words and expressions. They should also work on spelling and word formation to ensure that errors do not impede communication. Additionally, using moreBand Score: 6.0
Explanation:

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "gradBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" insteadBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead ofBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "gradBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
–Band Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
The essay makesBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
The essay makes someBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
The essay makes some errorsBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
The essay makes some errors in spellingBand Score: 5.0

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as "depicts," "proportion," "employment," "average salary," "compared to," and "percentage of change."
It attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as "graduates," "distribution," and "proportion of employment," but with some inaccuracy, as seen in "graduaters" and "employment graduated."
There are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "people work in public services" instead of "people working in public services," and "graduaters" instead of "graduates."
The essay makes some errors in spelling and/orBand Score: 5.0

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 5

Band Score: 5.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, including both simple and complex sentences. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and inconsistencies in punctuation that impede clarity. While the essay attempts to convey information about the data presented in the charts, the language lacks precision and coherence in places.

How to improve: Focus on improving sentence structure variety and accuracy to convey ideas more clearly. Pay close attention to grammar and punctuation to reduce errors and improve overall coherence. Additionally, strive for more precise language to enhance clarity and convey information more effectively.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table illustrates the average annual income earned by individuals across various sectors in the year 2004, along with the corresponding percentage changes from the preceding year. Simultaneously, the accompanying pie chart delineates the distribution of graduates across these sectors.

Overall, the public services sector boasted the highest average salary, surpassing all others, while the wholesale and retail trade sector experienced the most substantial increase in income compared to the previous year. Additionally, graduates primarily found employment within the public services sector.

In 2004, individuals engaged in public services, finance, transportation, and wholesale and retail trade enjoyed higher average salaries compared to those in manufacturing and agriculture. Notably, the public services sector ranked highest with an average income of 92000, followed by finance, transportation, and wholesale and retail trade at 83000, 81000, and 77000 respectively. Conversely, the agriculture sector witnessed the smallest percentage change from 2003, at 2.31%, whereas wholesale and retail trade experienced the most significant increase, reaching 8.4%.

Regarding the distribution of graduates, the public services sector attracted the largest proportion of employment at 30%, followed by agriculture and manufacturing at 25% and 20% respectively. Transportation and wholesale and retail trade both accounted for 10% of graduate employment, surpassing finance by 5%.