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The table shows the frequency of adults using the internet in one European country from 2006 to 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the frequency of adults using the internet in one European country from 2006 to 2010.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given table illustrates statistics about the frequency of adults using the internet in certain European country over a period of five years from 2006 to 2010.

Overall, the proportion of internet heavy users increased significantly over the five years. The percentage of people using the internet on a daily basis was constantly the highest during the reported years.

In 2006, the figures for "daily" and "never" were the largest, at 36% and 34% respectively, which were relatively two times greater than those of "weekly" and "3 times/month". During two years from 2006 to 2008, the percentage of daily and weekly users rose substantially, with an increase of 9% for "daily" and 14% for "weekly" while the remaining two group declined considerably to less than 17% in 2008.

In 2010, the statistic for daily users reached its peak at 72% after a remarkable rise of 27% from 2008 to 2010. Conversely, the number for weekly users fell to 22% and those for users, who only use the internet 3 times per month or never use, dropped sharply to less than 6%.


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Errors and Improvements:

  1. "statistics about the frequency of adults using the internet" -> "statistics pertaining to the frequency of internet usage among adults"
    Explanation: "Statistics about the frequency of adults using the internet" is grammatically correct but lacks precision and sophistication. "Statistics pertaining to the frequency of internet usage among adults" provides a more formal and precise description.

  2. "internet heavy users" -> "frequent internet users"
    Explanation: "Internet heavy users" is a colloquial term that could be replaced with a more formal alternative like "frequent internet users."

  3. "constantly the highest" -> "consistently the highest"
    Explanation: "Constantly the highest" might imply an uninterrupted state, while "consistently the highest" better reflects the idea of regularity over the reported years.

  4. "relatively two times greater than" -> "roughly twice as large as"
    Explanation: "Relatively two times greater than" is awkward phrasing. "Roughly twice as large as" is clearer and more concise.

  5. "During two years from 2006 to 2008" -> "Between 2006 and 2008"
    Explanation: "During two years from 2006 to 2008" can be simplified to "Between 2006 and 2008" for clarity and conciseness.

  6. "substantially" -> "significantly"
    Explanation: "Substantially" is somewhat vague. "Significantly" provides a clearer indication of the magnitude of the increase.

  7. "declined considerably" -> "decreased significantly"
    Explanation: "Declined considerably" can be replaced with "decreased significantly" for greater precision and formality.

  8. "peak" -> "zenith"
    Explanation: While "peak" is appropriate, using "zenith" adds a more sophisticated and formal touch.

  9. "Conversely" -> "In contrast"
    Explanation: "Conversely" implies a direct opposition, while "In contrast" better reflects the change in trend between daily and weekly users.

  10. "dropped sharply" -> "plummeted"
    Explanation: "Dropped sharply" is a bit generic. "Plummeted" conveys a more dramatic and precise decrease in usage.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

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Band Score: 7.0
Explanation: The essay adequately covers the requirements of the task by summarizing the main features of the data presented in the table. It provides a clear overview of the main trends in internet usage among adults in the European country from 2006 to 2010. Key features such as the increase in daily internet users and the corresponding decrease in weekly and infrequent users are highlighted effectively.
How to improve: To enhance the response and potentially achieve a higher band score, consider providing more specific numerical data from the table to support the trends mentioned. Additionally, ensure that all comparisons made are relevant to the data presented in the table. More detailed analysis of the data could further strengthen the essay.]

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a logical organization of information, with clear progression throughout. It effectively presents the main features of the data and makes relevant comparisons. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, aiding in the coherence of the essay. Each paragraph maintains a clear central topic and contributes to the overall understanding of the data.

How to improve: To further enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smoother. This can be achieved by using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that they are used consistently throughout the essay. Additionally, pay attention to paragraphing to ensure that each paragraph logically follows the previous one, contributing to a cohesive flow of ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation:
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information effectively. There is appropriate use of vocabulary related to statistical reporting, such as "proportion," "statistics," "figures," and "percentage." The essay also employs a variety of vocabulary to describe frequency, including "constantly," "substantially," "remarkable," and "sharply." Additionally, the candidate uses some less common lexical items like "heavy users" to provide a nuanced description. While there are occasional errors in word choice, such as "users, who only use" instead of "users who only use," these do not significantly impede understanding. Overall, the vocabulary choice allows for a clear presentation of the information with some awareness of style and collocation.

How to improve:
To further enhance the Lexical Resource, strive for greater precision in word choice and collocation. Avoid occasional errors in word choice and refine the use of complex vocabulary to ensure accuracy and fluency. Additionally, aim for more varied sentence structures to showcase a higher level of lexical sophistication.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences, such as "The percentage of people using the internet on a daily basis was constantly the highest during the reported years" and "During two years from 2006 to 2008, the percentage of daily and weekly users rose substantially." There are relatively few errors, and the majority of sentences are error-free, contributing to a clear and coherent presentation of ideas.

How to improve: To enhance the grammatical range and accuracy further, consider varying sentence structures even more to add richness to the essay. Additionally, pay close attention to punctuation, ensuring consistency and accuracy throughout the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The provided table presents data regarding the frequency of adults utilizing the internet in a particular European country over the span of five years from 2006 to 2010.

Overall, it is evident that there was a substantial increase in the proportion of individuals categorized as heavy internet users throughout the specified period, with the highest percentage recorded for daily usage consistently across all years.

In 2006, the largest proportions were observed in the categories of "daily" and "never," at 36% and 34% respectively, which were approximately twice as high as those for "weekly" and "3 times/month." Over the following two years, from 2006 to 2008, there was a notable surge in the percentages of daily and weekly users, with increases of 9% for "daily" and 14% for "weekly," while the remaining two categories experienced considerable declines, dropping to less than 17% in 2008.

By 2010, the percentage of daily users had reached its peak at 72%, marking a remarkable rise of 27% from 2008 to 2010. Conversely, the proportion of weekly users decreased to 22%, and those who used the internet either three times per month or never saw a sharp decline to less than 6%.

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