the table shows the price of four types of coffee in the uk from 1990 to 2010

The given table illustrates the average price of four different brands of coffee in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2010.
Overall, there was a gradual decline in the price of coffee B and coffee C, while the figure for that of coffee A rose dramatically from 1990 to 2010. Also the cost of coffee D had a stable price, meanwhile the expense of coffee C was the most expensive throughout the period.
Between 1990 and 2000, there was a slight increase in the price of coffee A, from 1.10 to 1.50 pounds. At the same time, the cost of coffee C dropped considerably from 4.50 to 3.50 pounds, while the figure for that of coffee B witnessed a slight decline of 0.04 pounds. In addition the amount of coffee D remained unchanged, standing at 3.00 pounds between 1990 and 2000.
From 2000 to 2010, the price of coffee A and coffee B in the UK had increased to 2.50 pounds and 2.10 pounds respectively. Conversely, coffee C and coffee D both experienced declines in the cost of coffee types in the United Kingdom, with figures falling to 3.20 pounds and 1.20 pounds respectively.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the given table illustrates" -> "the provided table illustrates"
Explanation: "Provided" is a more formal term than "given," which enhances the academic tone of the writing.
"the figure for that of coffee A rose dramatically" -> "the price of coffee A increased significantly"
Explanation: "Price" is more precise than "figure," and "increased significantly" is more formal and academically appropriate than "rose dramatically," which can imply an emotional connotation.
"the cost of coffee D had a stable price" -> "the price of coffee D remained stable"
Explanation: "Remained stable" is more concise and avoids redundancy, as "stable price" can be simplified to just "stable."
"the expense of coffee C was the most expensive" -> "the price of coffee C was the highest"
Explanation: "Price" is a more appropriate term in this context than "expense," and "highest" is clearer and avoids the redundancy of "most expensive."
"there was a slight increase in the price of coffee A" -> "there was a modest increase in the price of coffee A"
Explanation: "Modest" is a more precise term that conveys a similar meaning while maintaining an academic tone.
"the figure for that of coffee B witnessed a slight decline" -> "the price of coffee B experienced a slight decline"
Explanation: "Price" is more direct than "figure," and "experienced" is a more formal choice than "witnessed."
"the amount of coffee D remained unchanged" -> "the price of coffee D remained unchanged"
Explanation: "Price" is more specific and relevant than "amount," which could imply quantity rather than cost.
"the price of coffee A and coffee B in the UK had increased" -> "the prices of coffee A and coffee B in the UK increased"
Explanation: "Prices" is plural to match the two items being discussed, and "had increased" can be simplified to "increased" for clarity and conciseness.
"both experienced declines in the cost of coffee types" -> "both experienced declines in price"
Explanation: "Price" is more concise and avoids the vague term "coffee types," which is unnecessary in this context.
"with figures falling to" -> "with prices falling to"
Explanation: "Prices" is more specific and relevant than "figures," enhancing clarity in the context of discussing costs.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6

Explanation: The essay provides an overview of the main trends in the data, but it does not fully develop the response. The essay does not provide a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. The essay presents and adequately highlights key features/ bullet points but details may be irrelevant, inappropriate or inaccurate.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing a more detailed overview of the main trends in the data. The essay could also be improved by providing more specific examples to support the claims made. For example, the essay could state that the price of coffee A increased by 140% from 1990 to 2010. The essay could also provide more specific information about the reasons for the changes in price. For example, the essay could mention that the price of coffee A increased due to increased demand.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay presents information in a coherent manner, with a clear overall progression. The introduction effectively sets the context, and the overall summary provides a concise overview of the trends observed in the data. However, while cohesive devices are used, there are instances where the cohesion between sentences could be improved, leading to a somewhat mechanical flow. For example, phrases like "At the same time" and "In addition" are used, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. The use of paragraphing is present, but the organization within the paragraphs could be more logical, particularly in how the information is sequenced.

How to improve: To enhance coherence and cohesion, the writer could focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices to link ideas more naturally. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that information flows logically from one point to the next would strengthen the overall structure. Finally, reviewing the use of referencing and substitution could help reduce repetition and improve clarity.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the task. It uses basic terms effectively to describe the data presented in the table. However, there are attempts to use less common vocabulary (e.g., "illustrates," "dramatically," "considerably"), but these attempts are marred by inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, such as "the expense of coffee C was the most expensive" and "the amount of coffee D remained unchanged." Additionally, there are some errors in word choice and collocation, such as "the figure for that of coffee A" which could be more naturally expressed. Spelling and word formation errors are minimal and do not impede communication, but they are present.

How to improve: To enhance the lexical resource score, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with greater precision and sophistication. This includes avoiding repetitive phrases and improving collocation (e.g., using "price of coffee C" instead of "the expense of coffee C"). Additionally, the writer should aim to reduce inaccuracies in word choice and strive for more natural phrasing. Expanding vocabulary knowledge and practicing the use of less common lexical items in context can also help achieve a higher score.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, which is characteristic of Band 6. While the writer attempts to use a variety of structures, there are noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation, such as "the expense of coffee C was the most expensive" (which is somewhat redundant) and "the price of coffee A and coffee B in the UK had increased" (which could be more clearly stated). These errors, while not severely impeding communication, do detract from the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing.

How to improve: To achieve a higher band score, the writer should focus on enhancing grammatical accuracy and increasing the variety of sentence structures. This can be done by practicing more complex sentence constructions and ensuring that punctuation is used correctly. Additionally, reducing redundancy in phrasing and ensuring that all sentences are clear and concise will improve the overall quality of the essay.

Bài sửa mẫu

The given table illustrates the average price of four different brands of coffee in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 2010. Overall, there was a gradual decline in the prices of coffee B and coffee C, while the price of coffee A rose dramatically during the same period. Additionally, the cost of coffee D remained stable, whereas coffee C was the most expensive option throughout the entire timeframe.

Between 1990 and 2000, there was a slight increase in the price of coffee A, rising from £1.10 to £1.50. At the same time, the cost of coffee C dropped considerably from £4.50 to £3.50, while the price of coffee B experienced a minor decline of £0.04. Furthermore, the price of coffee D remained unchanged, standing at £3.00 between 1990 and 2000.

From 2000 to 2010, the prices of coffee A and coffee B in the UK increased to £2.50 and £2.10 respectively. Conversely, coffee C and coffee D both experienced price declines, with figures falling to £3.20 and £1.20 respectively.