The two maps below show the village of Bunborough in the present day and plans for the village in 2024. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The two maps below show the village of Bunborough in the present day and plans for the village in 2024.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

The first map illustrates the village of Bunborough in the present day and the second one depicts plans for this village in 2024.
From an overall perspective, after the proposed plans will be finished in autumn 2024, the infrastructure will be extended and there will be a significant change in the main source of income of Bunborough.
In order to construct a railway line across the village with a station on the outskirts, some residential housings must be knocked down and rebuilt in the north of the village. However, the total number of houses will not greatly change as planned. It is evident that the shops, surrounded by the main road, will remain the same.
There will be a new road links to the south of the former road, connecting this village with Maychester and Lynwich. While at present the majority of Bunborough's income appears to be fishing, this will be tourism in the future since modern hotels will be built and much of the fishing port will be destroyed. Although the fishing port is being replaced with a promenade, the beach will remain unchanged.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"the first map illustrates" -> "the first map depicts"
Explanation: "Depicts" is a more precise term in academic contexts when referring to visual representations, enhancing the formal tone of the description.
"the second one depicts" -> "the second map depicts"
Explanation: Adding "map" clarifies that the subject is a map, ensuring clarity and specificity in the description.
"after the proposed plans will be finished" -> "once the proposed plans are completed"
Explanation: "Once the proposed plans are completed" uses the correct future tense and a more formal structure, aligning better with academic style.
"the infrastructure will be extended" -> "the infrastructure will be expanded"
Explanation: "Expanded" is more specific and appropriate in this context, suggesting a broadening or increase in scope rather than just lengthening.
"there will be a significant change" -> "there will be a substantial change"
Explanation: "Substantial" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "significant," which can be vague and overused.
"must be knocked down and rebuilt" -> "must be demolished and reconstructed"
Explanation: "Demolished and reconstructed" are more precise and formal terms, suitable for an academic context discussing construction and destruction.
"the shops, surrounded by the main road" -> "the shops situated along the main road"
Explanation: "Situated along" is a more precise and formal way to describe the location of shops relative to the road.
"will remain the same" -> "will remain unchanged"
Explanation: "Remain unchanged" is a more formal and precise expression, enhancing the academic tone.
"new road links to the south of the former road" -> "new road connecting the south of the existing road"
Explanation: "Connecting the south of the existing road" provides a clearer and more formal description of the road’s relationship to the existing infrastructure.
"much of the fishing port will be destroyed" -> "a significant portion of the fishing port will be demolished"
Explanation: "A significant portion" is more specific and formal than "much," and "demolished" is the correct term for the destruction of structures in a formal context.
"the fishing port is being replaced with a promenade" -> "the fishing port will be replaced by a promenade"
Explanation: Using "will be replaced by" instead of "is being replaced with" corrects the tense and structure, aligning with the future context of the plans.
"the beach will remain unchanged" -> "the beach will remain unaffected"
Explanation: "Remain unaffected" is a more precise and formal way to describe the beach’s condition, implying no change or impact.

These changes enhance the precision, formality, and clarity of the text, aligning it more closely with academic writing standards.

Band điểm Task Achivement ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7

Explanation: The essay provides a clear overview of the main changes to the village of Bunborough between the present day and 2024. It highlights the key features of the changes, such as the construction of a railway line, the demolition and rebuilding of some houses, and the replacement of the fishing port with a promenade. The essay also makes comparisons where relevant, such as noting that the number of houses will not change significantly and that the beach will remain unchanged.

How to improve: The essay could be improved by providing more specific details about the changes. For example, the essay could mention the exact number of houses that will be demolished and rebuilt, or the specific location of the new road links. The essay could also provide more detailed information about the changes to the fishing port, such as the size of the promenade or the type of hotels that will be built.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay arranges information and ideas coherently with a clear overall progression. The writer effectively uses cohesive devices, but there are some instances of faulty cohesion within and/or between sentences. The central topic within each paragraph is clear. However, the paragraphing is not always logical.

How to improve: To improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay, the writer should focus on ensuring that the connections between sentences are clearer and more seamless. Additionally, paying more attention to logical paragraphing will enhance the overall structure of the essay. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score: 6.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with attempts to use less common vocabulary. There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as "the infrastructure will be extended" could be improved to "the infrastructure will be expanded". Additionally, there are some errors in word formation, such as "housing" instead of "housings". Overall, the essay conveys the main features of the maps and makes relevant comparisons, but there is room for improvement in the precision and accuracy of the vocabulary used.

How to improve: To improve the Lexical Resource score, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary with more precision and accuracy. Pay attention to word choice, collocation, and word formation to convey ideas more effectively. Consider using synonyms and more sophisticated language to enhance the lexical quality of the essay.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score: 7.0

Explanation: The essay demonstrates the use of a variety of complex structures, such as using subordinate clauses and passive voice. The majority of sentences are error-free, showcasing good control of grammar and punctuation. However, there are a few errors present in the essay, such as missing articles or prepositions. These errors do not significantly hinder communication but are noticeable.

How to improve: To improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on consistently using articles, prepositions, and verb tenses correctly. Additionally, pay attention to subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentence structures are used accurately. Proofreading the essay carefully can help catch and correct any minor errors that may affect the overall clarity and accuracy of the writing.

Bài sửa mẫu

The first map depicts the current layout of Bunborough village, while the second map showcases the proposed developments for the village by 2024. Overall, it is evident that significant changes are planned for the village, particularly in terms of infrastructure and the primary source of income.

In the future, after the completion of the proposed plans in autumn 2024, Bunborough will see an extension of its infrastructure. This includes the construction of a railway line with a station on the outskirts, leading to the demolition and reconstruction of some residential houses in the northern part of the village. Despite these changes, the total number of houses is expected to remain relatively stable. Additionally, the shops located along the main road are set to remain unchanged.

Furthermore, new road connections will be established to the south of the existing road, linking Bunborough with Maychester and Lynwich. While fishing currently serves as the main source of income for the village, this is expected to shift towards tourism in the future. This transformation will be facilitated by the construction of modern hotels and the redevelopment of the fishing port into a promenade, while preserving the beach area.