fbpx

There are some students who think that learning coursera is not useful. Agree or disagree ? Solution ? Write essay (at least 350 words)

There are some students who think that learning coursera is not useful. Agree or disagree ? Solution ? Write essay (at least 350 words)

Some students believe that learning on Coursera is ineffective. I concur with this statement for the reasons that it will create waste of time for the students.

An example of how Coursera makes many students feel like they are wasting their time is that the coursera system requires students to complete 6 tests and each test requires students to watch an 8-10 minute video of a teacher teaching knowledge such as concepts related to the course. This leads to students feeling like they are wasting their time.

To solve this problem, Coursera needs to adjust its system. For example, reduce the number of exercises for each test and reduce the length of the lecture videos on the system. This will help students solve the problem of wasting their time.

In conclusion, Coursera makes many students feel useless because its system has created a waste of time for them. To solve this problem, an effective solution is to adjust the coursera platform to bring students excitement about this subject.


Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

  1. "Some students believe" -> "Some students contend"
    Explanation: "Contend" is a more formal and precise term that implies a stronger assertion or argument, which is more suitable for academic writing than the more casual "believe."

  2. "I concur with this statement" -> "I agree with this assertion"
    Explanation: "Agree" is a more direct and formal synonym for "concur," and "assertion" is a more academic term than "statement," enhancing the formality of the sentence.

  3. "it will create waste of time for the students" -> "it may result in a waste of time for students"
    Explanation: "May result in" is a more precise and formal way to express potential outcomes, and using "students" without the definite article "the" follows standard subject-verb agreement rules in formal English.

  4. "makes many students feel like they are wasting their time" -> "leads many students to perceive that they are wasting their time"
    Explanation: "Leads" is a more formal verb than "makes," and "perceive" is a more precise term than "feel like," which is colloquial. Additionally, "that" is used correctly after "perceive" to introduce the subordinate clause.

  5. "reduce the number of exercises for each test" -> "reduce the number of exercises per test"
    Explanation: "Per test" is a more precise and formal way to specify the scope of reduction, aligning better with academic style.

  6. "reduce the length of the lecture videos on the system" -> "shorten the length of the video lectures on the platform"
    Explanation: "Shorten" is a more precise verb for reducing length, and "video lectures" is a more formal term than "lecture videos." Also, "platform" is a more formal term than "system" in this context.

  7. "make students feel useless" -> "render students ineffective"
    Explanation: "Render" is a more formal verb that conveys a stronger sense of outcome, and "ineffective" is a more precise adjective than "useless," which is somewhat informal and vague.

  8. "bring students excitement about this subject" -> "generate enthusiasm among students for this subject"
    Explanation: "Generate enthusiasm" is a more formal and precise expression than "bring excitement," and "among" is more appropriate than "about" in this context, indicating the distribution of enthusiasm among students.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 5

Band Score for Task Response: 5 – UNDER WORD

  • Answer All Parts of the Question:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay addresses the prompt by stating a clear agreement with the notion that learning on Coursera is not useful. However, it fails to fully explore the second part of the question, which asks for a solution. While the essay suggests adjustments to the Coursera system, it does not provide a comprehensive analysis of why these changes would be effective or how they would address the concerns raised. The argument is underdeveloped and lacks depth.
    • How to improve: To better address all elements of the question, the writer should elaborate on the reasons for their stance and provide a more detailed solution. This could include discussing additional factors that contribute to the perceived ineffectiveness of Coursera, such as the quality of content or student engagement, and suggesting multiple solutions rather than just one.
  • Present a Clear Position Throughout:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear position that learning on Coursera is ineffective. However, the position could be more consistently reinforced throughout the essay. The conclusion reiterates the main point but does not effectively summarize the supporting arguments made in the body paragraphs. This lack of cohesion can lead to confusion about the overall message.
    • How to improve: To maintain a clear and consistent position, the writer should ensure that each paragraph connects back to the main argument. This can be achieved by restating the position in the topic sentences of each paragraph and summarizing the key points in the conclusion, reinforcing how they support the overall stance.
  • Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents an idea regarding the inefficacy of Coursera but does not extend or support it adequately. The example provided is somewhat relevant but lacks depth and detail. The argument about time-wasting is mentioned, but there are no statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes to substantiate this claim, which weakens the overall argument.
    • How to improve: To effectively present and support ideas, the writer should include more examples and evidence. This could involve discussing specific courses that are ineffective, providing testimonials from students, or citing research on online learning effectiveness. Additionally, expanding on the proposed solutions with reasoning as to why they would be beneficial would strengthen the argument.
  • Stay on Topic:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the perceived ineffectiveness of Coursera. However, the discussion of solutions is somewhat vague and does not fully align with the prompt’s request for a solution to the problem. The mention of "bringing students excitement" is too abstract and does not provide a clear direction.
    • How to improve: To maintain focus and relevance, the writer should ensure that all parts of the essay directly relate to the prompt. This includes providing specific, actionable solutions and ensuring that every point made ties back to the central argument about Coursera’s effectiveness. Clear and concrete examples will help keep the essay on track and relevant to the prompt.

Overall, to improve the essay and potentially raise the band score, the writer should aim for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic, including a thorough analysis of the issues with Coursera and well-supported solutions. Expanding the essay to meet the word count requirement will also help in achieving a higher score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

  • Organize Information Logically:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear stance on the effectiveness of Coursera, stating that it is ineffective. However, the organization of ideas could be improved. The introduction states the writer’s agreement with the statement, but the reasons provided are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the first body paragraph reiterates the idea of wasting time without exploring other potential issues or providing a broader context. The conclusion summarizes the argument but does not effectively tie back to the introduction or provide a clear resolution.
    • How to improve: To enhance logical organization, the essay could benefit from a clearer structure that includes distinct points in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should introduce a unique idea or argument, supported by examples or evidence. For instance, the writer could discuss not only the time wasted but also the lack of engagement or motivation that online learning platforms may foster. Additionally, a more robust conclusion that summarizes the key points and suggests broader implications or further recommendations would strengthen the overall coherence.
  • Use Paragraphs:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay uses paragraphs, but their effectiveness is limited. The first paragraph introduces the topic and the writer’s position, while the second paragraph attempts to provide an example but lacks a clear transition from the introduction. The third paragraph presents a solution but does not clearly connect back to the previous points. The conclusion reiterates the main argument without synthesizing the information presented in the body paragraphs.
    • How to improve: To improve paragraphing, each paragraph should focus on a single main idea. The first paragraph could introduce the topic and state the thesis. The second paragraph could discuss the specific reasons why Coursera is perceived as ineffective, while the third could present solutions. Clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph would help guide the reader through the argument. Additionally, using linking phrases at the beginning of paragraphs (e.g., "Furthermore," "In addition," "On the other hand") would enhance the flow between ideas.
  • Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates some use of cohesive devices, such as "for example" and "to solve this problem." However, the range of cohesive devices is limited, and their application is sometimes repetitive. The use of cohesive devices is crucial for guiding the reader through the argument and ensuring clarity. Transitions between sentences and ideas are often abrupt, which can disrupt the flow of the essay.
    • How to improve: To diversify and effectively use cohesive devices, the writer should incorporate a variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "for example," the writer could use "for instance," "such as," or "to illustrate." Additionally, employing contrastive devices (e.g., "however," "on the contrary") could help in discussing opposing viewpoints or addressing counterarguments. Ensuring that each sentence logically connects to the next will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a clear position and some logical organization, improvements can be made in structuring ideas, enhancing paragraph effectiveness, and diversifying cohesive devices to achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a basic range of vocabulary, but it lacks variety and sophistication. For instance, terms like "wasting time" and "ineffective" are repeated without variation, which limits the lexical richness of the essay. Additionally, phrases such as "adjust its system" and "reduce the number of exercises" could be expressed with more varied vocabulary to enhance engagement.
    • How to improve: To improve lexical range, the writer should incorporate synonyms and more complex phrases. For example, instead of saying "wasting time," alternatives like "inefficient use of time" or "unproductive engagement" could be used. Expanding vocabulary through reading and practice can help in this regard.
  • Use Vocabulary Precisely:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains instances of imprecise vocabulary usage. The phrase "learning on Coursera is ineffective" could be interpreted in various ways, and the term "useless" in the conclusion is overly strong and somewhat inaccurate, as it does not consider the potential benefits of online learning platforms. Additionally, the phrase "the coursera system" should be capitalized as "the Coursera system" to reflect proper noun usage.
    • How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should focus on clearly articulating their arguments with specific terminology. For example, instead of "wasting their time," they could specify what aspects of the learning process are unproductive. Using terms like "engagement" or "learning outcomes" can provide clarity and depth to the argument.
  • Use Correct Spelling:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains some spelling errors, notably the lowercase "coursera" instead of "Coursera." This affects the professionalism of the writing and could lead to confusion about the subject being discussed. Additionally, while there are no egregious spelling mistakes, the consistent miscapitalization suggests a lack of attention to detail.
    • How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy, the writer should proofread their work carefully or use spell-check tools before submission. Familiarizing themselves with the correct spelling of key terms related to the topic, such as "Coursera," will also enhance the overall quality of their writing.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates an understanding of the topic, improvements in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling are necessary to achieve a higher band score in the Lexical Resource criteria. Engaging with a wider array of vocabulary and ensuring accuracy in usage will significantly enhance the effectiveness of the writing.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 6

  • Use a Wide Range of Structures:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a limited range of sentence structures. Most sentences follow a simple or compound structure, such as "I concur with this statement for the reasons that it will create waste of time for the students." While this sentence is clear, it lacks complexity. The use of more varied structures, such as complex sentences or conditional clauses, is minimal. For example, the phrase "An example of how Coursera makes many students feel like they are wasting their time is that…" could be restructured to enhance variety, perhaps by using a relative clause or an introductory phrase.
    • How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, you could use introductory clauses (e.g., "Although many students find Coursera beneficial, others feel it is a waste of time.") or conditional sentences (e.g., "If Coursera were to reduce the number of tests, students might feel more engaged."). Practicing sentence combining exercises can also help in creating more complex sentences.
  • Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:

    • Detailed explanation: The essay contains several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation that detract from its overall clarity. For example, the phrase "create waste of time for the students" should be revised to "create a waste of time for students" to improve grammatical accuracy. Additionally, the term "coursera" is incorrectly capitalized in some instances, which should consistently be "Coursera." The use of commas is also inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences where they could clarify meaning.
    • How to improve: To enhance grammatical accuracy, it is essential to proofread the essay for common errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage. Additionally, practicing punctuation rules, especially regarding the use of commas in complex sentences, will improve clarity. For example, in the sentence "This leads to students feeling like they are wasting their time," consider breaking it into two sentences or using a semicolon for better flow. Regular grammar exercises and reading more complex texts can also help reinforce correct usage.

Overall, while the essay presents a clear argument, focusing on diversifying sentence structures and improving grammatical accuracy will significantly enhance the quality of writing and potentially raise the band score in the IELTS assessment.

Bài sửa mẫu

Some students believe that learning on Coursera is ineffective. I agree with this assertion for the reasons that it may result in a waste of time for students.

An example of how Coursera leads many students to perceive that they are wasting their time is that the Coursera system requires students to complete six tests, and each test requires students to watch an 8-10 minute video of a teacher teaching concepts related to the course. This leads to students feeling like they are wasting their time.

To solve this problem, Coursera needs to adjust its system. For example, it could reduce the number of exercises per test and shorten the length of the lecture videos on the platform. This will help students address the issue of wasting their time.

In conclusion, Coursera makes many students feel ineffective because its system has created a waste of time for them. To solve this problem, an effective solution is to adjust the Coursera platform to generate enthusiasm among students for this subject.

Bài viết liên quan

These days,students attend private “cram schools” for extra coaching to make them study better,so that a lot of parents believe they should just let their child go to “cram school” to learn better.But other people believe that students can learn by their own way so they can also do well in the test.

These days,students attend private “cram schools” for extra coaching to make them study better,so that a lot of parents believe they should just let their…

IELTS Writify

Chấm IELTS Writing Free x GPT

Lưu ý

Sắp bảo trì server

Để đảm bảo tính ổn định của web, web sẽ thực hiện backup dữ liệu hàng ngày từ 3h-3h30 sáng

Rất mong quý thầy cô và học viên thông cảm vì bất tiện này