There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities. Write an essay to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

There is a big number of people who wish to live in big cities.
Write an essay to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

In the contemporary era, one of the most notable developments has been the growing trend toward living in big cities among individuals. While there are certain merits in this, we also consider some drawbacks unexpectedly involved
Admittedly, it is seemingly comprehensible why some hold the viewpoint that inhabiting large cities has had a considerable bearing on individuals. Foremost among these is the inherent appeal of urban centers, which serve as economic, financial, and cultural hubs, offering a rich tapestry of industries and career opportunities. The dynamic economy in these areas draws individuals pursuing career advancement, professional growth, and competitive salaries, thus providing extensive employment possibilities across a wide range of sectors.
Another major advantage of urban living is the wide array of available services, which significantly enhances the overall quality of life. . Urban centers provide a rich array of services, including cultural events, efficient public transportation, and recreational amenities, which collectively enhance the quality of life and attract those seeking a well-rounded living environment.
Irrespective of the aforementioned merits of residing in metropolitan areas, I am convinced that this tendency has a detrimental impact on individuals in divergent ways. The primary drawback is the environmental pollution prevalent in large cities. Extensive traffic congestion, dense industrial operations, and constant construction activities exacerbate air and noise pollution. This leads to deteriorated air quality and increased health issues, such as respiratory problems and stress-related conditions, which profoundly impact residents' health and overall quality of life. Another significant drawback is the elevated cost of living in bustling urban environments, where expenses for housing, utilities, and daily necessities are substantially higher than in smaller towns. This financial strain can lead to considerable stress and diminish overall well-being, especially for individuals or families with limited budgets.
In conclusion, while living in large cities offers notable benefits such as diverse career opportunities and enhanced services, it also brings significant challenges including environmental pollution and high living costs. Therefore, it is essential to weigh these factors carefully when considering Experiencing life in large cities

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"In the contemporary era" -> "In the modern era"
Explanation: "Contemporary" can sometimes imply a sense of being up-to-date or fashionable, which may not be the intended meaning here. "Modern" is a more neutral and commonly accepted term in academic writing to refer to the current time period.
"growing trend toward living in big cities" -> "increasing trend towards urbanization"
Explanation: "Growing trend toward living in big cities" is somewhat informal and vague. "Increasing trend towards urbanization" is more precise and formal, focusing on the broader phenomenon of urbanization rather than just the size of cities.
"certain merits in this" -> "certain advantages of this"
Explanation: "Merits" can be somewhat vague and less commonly used in modern academic writing. "Advantages" is more direct and universally understood, enhancing clarity and formality.
"we also consider some drawbacks unexpectedly involved" -> "we also acknowledge some unforeseen drawbacks"
Explanation: "Unexpectedly involved" is awkward and unclear. "Unforeseen" is more precise and appropriate for academic writing, indicating that the drawbacks were not anticipated or recognized earlier.
"inhabiting large cities" -> "residing in large cities"
Explanation: "Inhabiting" can imply a more general or casual sense of living in a place, whereas "residing" is more formal and specific, suitable for academic contexts.
"inherent appeal" -> "intrinsic appeal"
Explanation: "Inherent" can sometimes imply a natural or innate quality, which might not be the intended meaning here. "Intrinsic" more accurately conveys the idea of being essential or fundamental to the nature of the urban centers.
"a rich tapestry of industries and career opportunities" -> "a diverse range of industries and career opportunities"
Explanation: "A rich tapestry" is metaphorical and might be considered too poetic for formal academic writing. "A diverse range" is straightforward and maintains a formal tone.
"dynamic economy" -> "thriving economy"
Explanation: "Dynamic" can be vague and less specific. "Thriving" is more precise and commonly used in economic contexts to describe a strong and successful economy.
"extensive employment possibilities" -> "widespread employment opportunities"
Explanation: "Extensive" can imply a large quantity but not necessarily a variety. "Widespread" better conveys the idea of opportunities being available across a broad area or range.
"collectively enhance" -> "collectively improve"
Explanation: "Enhance" can be vague and less specific in this context. "Improve" is more direct and commonly used in academic writing to describe the positive effects of services on quality of life.
"deteriorated air quality" -> "degraded air quality"
Explanation: "Deteriorated" can imply a gradual decline, which might not be the intended meaning. "Degraded" is more precise and commonly used in environmental contexts to describe a decline in quality.
"stress-related conditions" -> "stress-related health issues"
Explanation: "Conditions" is somewhat vague and can encompass a wide range of health issues. "Health issues" is more specific and appropriate for academic writing, focusing on the health aspects directly related to stress.
"elevated cost of living" -> "increased cost of living"
Explanation: "Elevated" is less common in this context and might sound overly formal or unnatural. "Increased" is straightforward and widely accepted in academic discussions about cost of living.
"substantially higher" -> "significantly higher"
Explanation: "Substantially" can be less precise in this context. "Significantly" is more commonly used in academic writing to describe notable differences or changes.
"Experiencing life in large cities" -> "Experiencing urban life"
Explanation: "Experiencing life in large cities" is redundant and informal. "Experiencing urban life" is concise and maintains a formal tone, focusing on the urban environment rather than the size of cities.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities, fulfilling the prompt’s requirement. The advantages discussed include economic opportunities and a wide array of services, while the disadvantages focus on environmental pollution and high living costs. However, the discussion could be more balanced; the advantages section is more developed than the disadvantages, which could leave the reader wanting a more thorough exploration of the latter.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the writer should aim for a more equal treatment of both sides. This could involve providing additional examples or details for the disadvantages, perhaps discussing social issues like crime rates or the impact of urban living on mental health, which would create a more comprehensive analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that acknowledges both sides of the argument but ultimately leans towards the disadvantages of urban living. The phrase "I am convinced that this tendency has a detrimental impact" clearly indicates the writer’s stance. However, the transition between discussing advantages and disadvantages could be smoother to reinforce this position.
- How to improve: To strengthen the clarity of the position, the writer could use transitional phrases that explicitly connect the advantages to the disadvantages, such as "Despite these advantages, it is crucial to consider…" This would help maintain a consistent narrative thread throughout the essay.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas related to the advantages of urban living, such as career opportunities and quality of life improvements, and supports these with relevant examples. However, the disadvantages section lacks depth; while it mentions pollution and high costs, it does not explore these issues in detail or provide specific examples or statistics to substantiate the claims.
- How to improve: To improve this aspect, the writer should aim to elaborate on the disadvantages with specific examples or data. For instance, citing studies on pollution levels in major cities or providing anecdotal evidence of the struggles faced by residents due to high living costs would greatly enhance the argument’s credibility.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, focusing on the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities. However, there are moments where the discussion could veer slightly off course, particularly in the introduction, where the phrase "growing trend toward living in big cities among individuals" could be seen as somewhat vague and not directly relevant to the advantages and disadvantages.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that the introduction clearly sets up the discussion of advantages and disadvantages without introducing unrelated concepts. A more direct approach in the introduction, such as stating the specific advantages and disadvantages to be discussed, would help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the task and presents a coherent argument, but with some adjustments in balance, clarity, support, and focus, it could achieve a higher band score.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, beginning with an introduction that outlines the topic and the two sides of the argument. The body paragraphs are organized to first discuss the advantages of living in big cities, followed by the disadvantages. This logical progression aids the reader’s understanding. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the benefits of urban living to the drawbacks feels abrupt, lacking a transitional phrase that signals this change in focus.
- How to improve: To enhance logical flow, consider using transitional phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" at the beginning of the paragraph discussing disadvantages. Additionally, summarizing the advantages before transitioning to the disadvantages can help reinforce the structure and guide the reader through the argument.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which is crucial for clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the discussion, such as the advantages of urban living and the drawbacks. However, the second body paragraph discussing advantages contains a repetitive phrase ("a rich array of services"), which detracts from its effectiveness and could lead to redundancy.
- How to improve: To improve paragraphing, ensure that each paragraph contains unique and varied content. Avoid repeating phrases or ideas within the same paragraph. Instead, consider expanding on different types of services available in urban areas or providing specific examples to illustrate points more vividly. This will not only enhance the paragraph’s effectiveness but also maintain the reader’s interest.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs some cohesive devices, such as "Admittedly" and "Foremost among these," which help to connect ideas and indicate the writer’s stance. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited. For instance, the essay could benefit from more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the connections between sentences and ideas. The use of cohesive devices is crucial for guiding the reader through the argument and ensuring clarity.
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases, such as "Furthermore," "In addition," "Moreover," and "Nevertheless." These can help to create smoother transitions between sentences and ideas. Additionally, consider using pronouns or synonyms to refer back to previously mentioned concepts, which can help avoid repetition and improve the overall cohesion of the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument, there are areas for improvement in the logical flow, paragraph uniqueness, and the variety of cohesive devices used. By addressing these aspects, the essay could achieve a higher band score in Coherence and Cohesion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 7

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the topic. Words such as "contemporary era," "notable developments," "inherent appeal," and "detrimental impact" showcase a solid command of language. However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with phrases like "wide array" and "rich array," which could be varied to enhance the lexical diversity further.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate synonyms or alternative expressions to avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "wide array," they could use "variety," "diverse selection," or "extensive range" in different sections of the essay.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally employs vocabulary accurately, with terms like "economic, financial, and cultural hubs" effectively conveying the advantages of urban living. However, the phrase "detrimental impact" could be seen as slightly vague; a more specific term could enhance clarity. Additionally, the phrase "diminish overall well-being" could be more precise if it specified which aspects of well-being are affected.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should consider using more specific language. For instance, instead of "detrimental impact," they might specify "negative effects on mental health" or "financial instability." This will provide clearer insights into the implications of living in big cities.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay displays a high level of spelling accuracy, with no noticeable errors in the text. Words are spelled correctly, which contributes positively to the overall impression of the writing.
- How to improve: While spelling is accurate, the writer should continue to practice proofreading their work to maintain this standard. Utilizing tools such as spell-checkers or engaging in peer reviews can help catch any potential errors in future writings.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary with room for improvement in variety and precision. By addressing these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences. For instance, the use of phrases like "which serve as economic, financial, and cultural hubs" and "this tendency has a detrimental impact on individuals in divergent ways" showcases the ability to construct complex ideas effectively. However, there are instances of repetitive structures, particularly in the way advantages and disadvantages are presented, which can make the writing feel somewhat formulaic.
- How to improve: To enhance the diversity of sentence structures, the writer could incorporate more varied introductory phrases and transition words. For example, instead of repeatedly starting sentences with "Another major advantage" or "The primary drawback," the writer could use phrases like "In addition to this," or "Conversely," to introduce new points. Additionally, integrating more conditional sentences or participial phrases could add complexity and variety to the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally maintains a good level of grammatical accuracy, with only a few minor errors. For instance, the phrase "this tendency has a detrimental impact on individuals in divergent ways" is grammatically correct, but the use of "unexpectedly involved" in the introduction is awkward and unclear. Furthermore, there is a punctuation error in the sentence "Another major advantage of urban living is the wide array of available services, which significantly enhances the overall quality of life. . Urban centers provide a rich array of services," where the double period should be corrected to a single period.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, the writer should carefully proofread the essay to catch minor errors, particularly in punctuation. Additionally, clarifying vague phrases like "some drawbacks unexpectedly involved" would enhance clarity. The writer could also benefit from reviewing common grammatical structures and ensuring that all sentences are complete and clearly convey their intended meaning. Practicing sentence combining exercises could also help in achieving greater grammatical precision and fluency.

Overall, the essay demonstrates a solid command of grammatical range and accuracy, but there is room for improvement in diversifying sentence structures and ensuring grammatical precision.

Bài sửa mẫu

In the contemporary era, one of the most notable developments has been the increasing trend towards living in big cities among individuals. While there are certain advantages to this, we also acknowledge some unforeseen drawbacks.

Admittedly, it is seemingly comprehensible why some hold the viewpoint that residing in large cities has a considerable bearing on individuals. Foremost among these is the intrinsic appeal of urban centers, which serve as economic, financial, and cultural hubs, offering a rich tapestry of industries and career opportunities. The thriving economy in these areas draws individuals pursuing career advancement, professional growth, and competitive salaries, thus providing widespread employment opportunities across a diverse range of sectors.

Another major advantage of urban living is the wide array of available services, which significantly enhances the overall quality of life. Urban centers provide a rich array of services, including cultural events, efficient public transportation, and recreational amenities, which collectively improve the quality of life and attract those seeking a well-rounded living environment.

Irrespective of the aforementioned merits of residing in metropolitan areas, I am convinced that this tendency has a detrimental impact on individuals in divergent ways. The primary drawback is the environmental pollution prevalent in large cities. Extensive traffic congestion, dense industrial operations, and constant construction activities exacerbate air and noise pollution. This leads to degraded air quality and increased health issues, such as respiratory problems and stress-related conditions, which profoundly impact residents’ health and overall quality of life. Another significant drawback is the increased cost of living in bustling urban environments, where expenses for housing, utilities, and daily necessities are significantly higher than in smaller towns. This financial strain can lead to considerable stress and diminish overall well-being, especially for individuals or families with limited budgets.

In conclusion, while living in large cities offers notable benefits such as diverse career opportunities and enhanced services, it also brings significant challenges including environmental pollution and high living costs. Therefore, it is essential to weigh these factors carefully when considering experiencing urban life.