There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

There is an ever-increasing trend that engaged couples worldwide choosing not to become parents. The benefits of this phenomenon are that those couples may have more time for themselves including career development; however, they might face mental and physical health problems in old age without anyone to care for them.
The main advantages of not having children are the possibility of greater time for both professional and personal development for those couples. In other words, when married couples remain childless, they have fewer responsibilities as childcare are particularly time-consuming and could cause stress. This means that, they have more time to better care for themselves, which enhances their well-being. In addition, childlessness can reduce conflict among couples. For example, most family quarrels usually originate with the childcare, such as responsibilities, financial burdens, or emotional demands. Furthermore, they are able to focus on their work when they have time to take care of themselves. Taking care of children requires a lot of time; as a result, many families have had to sacrifice their employment.
However, the disadvantage of couple deciding not to have children is that they must confront mental and physical well-being issues in their elderliness without anybody to look after them. In other words, childfree couples may have to suffer loneliness when they get old, compared to families with children, who witness family reunions. This can lead to the lack of emotional fulfillment, result in mental breakdown, and worse, losing enthusiasm for life, if one of the two is no longer in the world. When they are mentally unstable, they are more prone to illness and physical decline. But they have to take care of themselves on their own because no one is there to care for them. As a result, they become increasingly depressed, which also makes them more seriously ill.
In conclusion, the positive sides of not having children are that the pairs may focus more on their careers and personal time. On the other hand, they have to deal with mental and physical health issues as they age and not have someone to care for them.

Gợi ý nâng cấp từ vựng

"engaged couples worldwide choosing not to become parents" -> "couples worldwide opting not to become parents"
Explanation: "Opting" is a more formal and precise term than "choosing," which is more commonly used in everyday language. This change enhances the academic tone of the sentence.
"The benefits of this phenomenon are that" -> "The advantages of this trend include"
Explanation: "Advantages" is more specific and academically appropriate than "benefits" in this context, and "include" is a more formal connector than "are that," which is somewhat awkward and informal.
"those couples may have more time for themselves including career development" -> "these couples may allocate more time to personal and professional development"
Explanation: "Allocate" is a more precise verb than "have," and "personal and professional development" is a more formal and comprehensive term than "themselves including career development."
"as childcare are particularly time-consuming and could cause stress" -> "as childcare responsibilities are particularly time-consuming and can cause stress"
Explanation: "Responsibilities" is a more specific term than "childcare," and "can cause" is more formal than "could cause," aligning better with academic style.
"which enhances their well-being" -> "which thereby enhances their well-being"
Explanation: Adding "thereby" clarifies the causal relationship between the reduced responsibilities and the enhanced well-being, making the sentence more precise and formal.
"childlessness can reduce conflict among couples" -> "childlessness may reduce conflict among couples"
Explanation: "May" is more appropriate than "can" in academic writing as it suggests possibility rather than certainty, which is more cautious and suitable for scholarly discourse.
"most family quarrels usually originate with the childcare" -> "many family disputes typically stem from childcare responsibilities"
Explanation: "Disputes" is a more formal term than "quarrels," and "stem from" is more precise than "originate with," which is somewhat vague and informal.
"they are able to focus on their work" -> "they can concentrate on their professional pursuits"
Explanation: "Concentrate on their professional pursuits" is more formal and specific than "focus on their work," which is somewhat generic and informal.
"Taking care of children requires a lot of time" -> "Caring for children demands considerable time"
Explanation: "Caring for children demands considerable time" uses more formal vocabulary and avoids the colloquial "a lot of," which is less suitable for academic writing.
"they must confront mental and physical well-being issues" -> "they must face mental and physical health challenges"
Explanation: "Face" is a more formal verb than "confront," and "health challenges" is a more precise and academically appropriate term than "well-being issues."
"they get old" -> "they become elderly"
Explanation: "Become elderly" is a more formal and precise expression than "get old," which is informal and vague.
"losing enthusiasm for life" -> "losing enthusiasm for life’s activities"
Explanation: Adding "activities" clarifies what aspect of life is being referred to, enhancing the precision of the statement.
"they become increasingly depressed" -> "they may become increasingly depressed"
Explanation: Adding "may" introduces a conditional element, which is more appropriate in academic writing to indicate possibility rather than certainty.
"more seriously ill" -> "more severely ill"
Explanation: "Severely" is the correct adverbial form to describe the degree of illness, whereas "seriously" is an adjective.

These changes refine the vocabulary and tone of the essay to better align with academic standards, enhancing clarity, precision, and formality.

Band điểm Task Response ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Task Response: 7

Answer All Parts of the Question:
- Detailed explanation: The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of married couples choosing not to have children. The advantages are clearly articulated, focusing on personal and professional development, while the disadvantages highlight potential loneliness and health issues in old age. However, the discussion could be more balanced; the advantages are elaborated upon more thoroughly than the disadvantages, which could lead to an incomplete exploration of the topic.
- How to improve: To enhance the response, the essay should provide a more equal treatment of both sides. This could involve adding more examples or elaborating on the disadvantages with specific scenarios or statistics that illustrate the potential consequences of remaining childless. Additionally, addressing possible counterarguments or alternative perspectives could strengthen the overall analysis.
Present a Clear Position Throughout:
- Detailed explanation: The essay maintains a clear position that discusses both sides of the argument. However, the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. The introduction presents the topic well, but the conclusion somewhat reiterates the points without a strong synthesis of the discussion.
- How to improve: To improve clarity and consistency, the writer should ensure that each paragraph transitions logically to the next. Using linking phrases such as "On the other hand" or "Conversely" can help to clarify shifts in focus. In the conclusion, rather than merely summarizing, the writer could restate their position on the overall impact of childlessness, providing a more definitive stance.
Present, Extend, and Support Ideas:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents several ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of not having children, such as increased time for personal development and potential loneliness in old age. However, some ideas are not fully extended or supported with concrete examples or data. For instance, while the essay mentions mental health issues, it does not provide specific examples or research to back up these claims.
- How to improve: To strengthen the presentation and support of ideas, the writer should incorporate more detailed examples, anecdotes, or statistics that illustrate the points being made. For instance, discussing studies on the mental health of childless individuals or providing examples of successful childless couples could add depth to the argument.
Stay on Topic:
- Detailed explanation: The essay generally stays on topic, discussing the relevant advantages and disadvantages of childlessness. However, there are moments where the focus could be sharpened. For example, the phrase "taking care of children requires a lot of time" could be more directly tied to the advantages of not having children rather than being a general statement.
- How to improve: To maintain focus, the writer should ensure that each point made directly relates back to the advantages or disadvantages of childlessness. Avoiding general statements that do not directly support the thesis will help keep the essay tightly aligned with the prompt. Additionally, reviewing each paragraph to ensure it contributes to the overall argument can help maintain relevance throughout the essay.

Band điểm Coherence & Cohesion ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Coherence and Cohesion: 7

Organize Information Logically:
- Detailed explanation: The essay presents a clear structure, with an introduction outlining the topic and a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. The points are logically sequenced, moving from the benefits of childlessness to the potential drawbacks. For instance, the transition from discussing personal and professional development to the emotional and physical challenges faced in old age is coherent. However, some ideas could be more effectively linked to enhance the overall flow. For example, the transition between discussing career focus and the stress of childcare could be more explicitly connected.
- How to improve: To enhance logical organization, consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph that directly relate back to the thesis statement. Additionally, employing transitional phrases such as "Conversely" or "On the other hand" can help clarify shifts between advantages and disadvantages, making the argument easier to follow.
Use Paragraphs:
- Detailed explanation: The essay effectively uses paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids in clarity. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic, such as the advantages of being childless in the first paragraph and the disadvantages in the second. However, the paragraphs could be more balanced in length and depth. The second paragraph discussing disadvantages is longer and more complex than the first, which may disrupt the reader’s engagement.
- How to improve: Aim for a more balanced approach by ensuring each paragraph contains a similar amount of detail and complexity. Consider breaking down longer paragraphs into smaller ones if they contain multiple ideas. For example, the second paragraph could be split into two: one focusing on loneliness and emotional fulfillment, and another on physical health issues. This would enhance readability and maintain the reader’s interest.
Use a Range of Cohesive Devices:
- Detailed explanation: The essay employs several cohesive devices, such as "In addition," "However," and "As a result," which help to connect ideas within and between sentences. These devices contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. However, the range of cohesive devices used is somewhat limited, and there are instances where repetition occurs, such as the frequent use of "this means that" and "as a result."
- How to improve: To diversify the use of cohesive devices, incorporate a wider variety of linking words and phrases. For instance, use "Furthermore" to add information, "Nevertheless" to introduce contrasting ideas, or "Consequently" to show cause and effect. Additionally, varying sentence structures can also enhance cohesion; for example, using relative clauses or participial phrases can create more complex and interesting sentences.

By addressing these areas for improvement, the essay can achieve a higher level of coherence and cohesion, potentially raising the band score in this criterion.

Band điểm Lexical Resource ước lượng: 6

Band Score for Lexical Resource: 6

Use a Wide Range of Vocabulary:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with terms such as "ever-increasing trend," "career development," and "emotional demands." However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive and lacks variation. For instance, the phrase "time for themselves" appears multiple times, which could be replaced with synonyms like "personal time" or "self-care" to enhance lexical diversity.
- How to improve: To improve, the writer should aim to incorporate a broader range of synonyms and expressions. For example, instead of repeatedly using "time for themselves," they could use alternatives such as "personal development," "self-improvement," or "individual pursuits." This would not only enrich the vocabulary but also demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource.
Use Vocabulary Precisely:
- Detailed explanation: While the essay includes some precise vocabulary, there are instances of imprecise usage that detract from clarity. For example, the phrase "couple deciding not to have children" should be "couples deciding not to have children" to maintain grammatical consistency. Additionally, "elderliness" is an awkward term; "old age" would be more commonly understood.
- How to improve: To enhance precision, the writer should carefully proofread their work for grammatical consistency and clarity. Using more familiar terms, such as "older adults" instead of "elderliness," would improve understanding. Furthermore, ensuring subject-verb agreement (e.g., "couples" instead of "couple") will enhance the overall precision of the vocabulary used.
Use Correct Spelling:
- Detailed explanation: The essay contains a few spelling errors, such as "childlessness" (which is correct but could be simplified to "not having children") and "mental breakdown" (which is a common phrase but could be more accurately described as "mental health issues" for clarity). Overall, spelling is generally accurate, but there are areas where word choice could lead to confusion.
- How to improve: To improve spelling accuracy and word choice, the writer should engage in regular practice with spelling exercises and utilize tools like spell checkers. Additionally, reading more academic texts can help familiarize the writer with correct spelling and usage in context, which can enhance both spelling and vocabulary selection.

In summary, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument, there is room for improvement in vocabulary range, precision, and spelling. By focusing on these areas, the writer can enhance their lexical resource and potentially achieve a higher band score in future IELTS assessments.

Band điểm Grammatical Range & Accuracy ước lượng: 7

Band Score for Grammatical Range and Accuracy: 7

Use a Wide Range of Structures:
- Detailed explanation: The essay demonstrates a good variety of sentence structures, including simple, compound, and complex sentences. For instance, the use of complex sentences is evident in phrases like “when married couples remain childless, they have fewer responsibilities as childcare are particularly time-consuming and could cause stress.” However, there are instances where the sentence structures could be more varied to enhance clarity and engagement. The essay tends to rely on similar sentence patterns, which can make the writing feel repetitive.
- How to improve: To diversify sentence structures, consider incorporating more varied introductory phrases and clauses. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with “the advantages/disadvantages are,” try beginning with a dependent clause or an adverbial phrase. Additionally, using more passive constructions or conditional sentences could add complexity. For example, “If couples choose to remain childless, they may find themselves with more time for personal pursuits” would introduce a conditional structure that varies the flow of the writing.
Use Grammar and Punctuation Accurately:
- Detailed explanation: The essay shows a generally good command of grammar, but there are notable errors that affect clarity and accuracy. For instance, the phrase “engaged couples worldwide choosing not to become parents” should be revised to “engaged couples worldwide are choosing not to become parents” to correct the verb form. Additionally, punctuation errors, such as the unnecessary comma in “This means that, they have more time to better care for themselves,” disrupt the flow of the text. The use of semicolons and commas is inconsistent, which can lead to confusion in sentence structure.
- How to improve: To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that verbs are correctly conjugated. Regular practice with grammar exercises can help solidify these concepts. For punctuation, reviewing the rules for comma usage and practicing with complex sentences can enhance clarity. It may also be beneficial to read the essay aloud to identify awkward phrasing or punctuation errors that may not be immediately apparent in written form. Additionally, consider using tools like grammar checkers to catch errors before finalizing the essay.

Overall, while the essay demonstrates a solid understanding of grammatical range and accuracy, addressing the specific areas for improvement will help elevate the writing to a higher band score.

Bài sửa mẫu

There is an ever-increasing trend of married couples worldwide opting not to become parents. The advantages of this trend include the opportunity for couples to invest more time in their personal and professional development; however, they might face mental and physical health challenges in old age without anyone to care for them.

The main advantages of remaining childless are the increased time available for both professional and personal growth. In other words, when married couples choose not to have children, they have fewer responsibilities, as childcare demands considerable time and can cause stress. This means that they can allocate more time to better care for themselves, which thereby enhances their well-being. Additionally, childlessness may reduce conflict among couples. For example, many family disputes typically stem from childcare responsibilities, such as financial burdens or emotional demands. Furthermore, they can concentrate on their professional pursuits when they have the time to take care of themselves. Caring for children requires a significant commitment, and as a result, many families have had to sacrifice their careers.

However, the disadvantages of couples deciding not to have children include the mental and physical health issues they may confront in their later years without anyone to look after them. In other words, childfree couples may experience loneliness as they age, especially in contrast to families with children, who often enjoy family reunions. This can lead to a lack of emotional fulfillment, resulting in mental breakdowns, and, worse, losing enthusiasm for life’s activities if one partner passes away. When they are mentally unstable, they are more prone to illness and physical decline. Unfortunately, they must take care of themselves on their own, as no one is there to support them. Consequently, they may become increasingly depressed, which can also lead to more severe health issues.

In conclusion, the positive aspects of not having children are that couples may focus more on their careers and personal time. On the other hand, they must deal with mental and physical health challenges as they age, without someone to care for them.